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Um, first time TOM stories?

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Old 05-05-2009, 06:17 PM   #1
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Default Um, first time TOM stories?

My daughter is 12, will be 13 soon so her first TOM could be any day, most of her friends already have theirs and it seems to happen at the most inopportune times. Like 1 friend today, got hers in the middle of class, all over her desk seat, another friend was right in the middle of a school competition. Needless to say my daughter is terrified..lol I would be to. I was lucky in the fact I started at home, just woke up with it one morning. My daughter has little to no body fat so I am thinking hers may be delayed some. So is it pretty common to have a nightmare of a first time? Not that anyone of them are a joy.
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:22 PM   #2
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Oh, no. Believe it or not I heard two 3rd grade moms saying that a couple of the girls in 3rd grade had already started! OMG!

I remember the prettiest girl in the 6th grade going to the chalkboard one day and having it all over the seat of her pants. Bless her sweet heart.

What age do you have the talk? I was thinking 4th grade was a good time but now with the moms telling me that isn't early enough--well, just WOW. I don't know!
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:26 PM   #3
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mine was embarrassing because I started while on a camping trip with a bunch of extended family. I waited almost all day before telling mom. I whispered to her while sitting around the campfire that "I started"... loudly she replied "STARTED WHAT?" I was so embarassed and didn't really talk about that kind of stuff before...I told her again that I started and she caught on...then told all the family members around the fire. My grandma made jokes and offered some pads that were back at her house because she didn't need them anymore...said she had them in the cabinet for years. I just wanted to die. Some of my older boy cousins didn't want to play with me the next day because they said I was stinky. I will never forget that day.
I only remember a couple of bad situations in Jr. High, but didn't seem common.
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:29 PM   #4
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[quote=Thighs Be Gone;2729232]Oh, no. Believe it or not I heard two 3rd grade moms saying that a couple of the girls in 3rd grade had already started! OMG!

QUOTE]

I volunteer at my sons school and I used the girls bathroom between 2nd and 3rd grade classrooms (its actually in the second grade hallway) and it had the machine for pads in there. I was thinking these girls look wayyyy to young!!!
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:33 PM   #5
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I don't think so...... From what I remember growing up, I never saw any mishaps with any of the other girls at school. Mine was really light when I started and if I remember correctly happened on the weekend. I might have had a bit of a "leak" but nothing major I think.

From what I recall my psychologist mom saying, kids will absorb anxiety from you, so if you stay calm and collected when talking about all these matters with your daughter, she will probably feel more calm about it as well.

Thighs: I remember reading that these days girls are getting their TOM's earlier and earlier. One theory was that because kids are better fed now, their bodies go into puberty earlier. Another more scary one stated that because of all of the hormones in our foods, the changes were happening earlier.
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:42 PM   #6
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Oh my gosh, I was like 13, and I was a cheerleader. We had little undies under our uniform that were bright yellow, called "lollies"..so I was a flyer, and I was doing a jump, flying all high and I went into a toe touch and I just heard the people in the stands start giggling and snickering..so at the end of the cheer, my friend marcia goes "oh my god theresa, you just got your period"..i ran to the bathroom and my lollies were bright red. It was the most humiliating thing, oh my gosh. My mom was so sweet and took me out for ice cream and watched all kinds of girly movies with me because I couldnt stop crying...i like to think it was a nightmare lol
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:57 PM   #7
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I feel so sorry for girls that have bad experiences - I know how those memories can haunt you forever.
I got lucky, mine started in the morning before school one day (they STILL always start in the morning). My mom helped me with pads and such. I was very happy and excited about it. The sweetest thing ever was that evening my dad gave me a rose and this speech about me becoming a woman and such. We were both a little embarrassed, but I'm the first girl, so I guess he was all nostalgic or something. I'll never forget it.
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:00 PM   #8
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In 4th grade (so I was 9 or 10) a couple weeks before "the girl's film," on the topic, I brought home the permission slip. So that night my mom explained menstration to me (she asked me if I knew what a period was, and I looked at her like she was insane, and said "yeah, it's a punctuation mark, at the end of a sentence").

Talk about good timing, before I started my period only a few days before the film (only about a week since my mom explained it to me). My very first period was very heavy (and every after that, and I was on a clock-work regular 25 day cycle with a 7 - 9 day heavy period, with severe cramping). I had gone to the bathroom, and had had a very bad stomache ache (turns out menstrual cramps), and there wasn't just a little blood, my underwear and pants were saturated. Even knowing what was going on, I panicked a bit. I called my mom at home and explained what was going on, I even remember what I was wearing. Being the 70's, I had pant suit, that looked like denim, but was a light cotten. The pants were bellbottoms, and the top was actually long enough to wear as a dress without the pants, and I often did wear the dress alone, so when my Mom asked if I needed a change of clothes, I said no, I only needed underwear and "supplies." She brought them to school, and helped me change and clean up, and she took my pants and undies home (I remember being so glad that she brought the undies and pads in a paper bag and took my stuff home the same way). Kids asked my why I wasn't wearing my pants, and I said that I had gotten too warm. Some boy teased me that I probably must have "wet" my pants, and instead of being embarassed, I was just grateful they hadn't guessed the "real" reason.

During the film (which not only could the boys not watch, the teachers had completely covered the windows which faced the playground where the boys were having recess, so they couldn't "peek" which was really weird, because they rarely completely closed the blinds even for other films. I was really happy the room was very dark, because I was blushing during the film afraid that the other girls would "guess" that I was having my period.

I remember at a slumber party probably two years later, none of my friends had started, and the topic of who had already had their first period came up, and I admitted that I had - and NONE of my friends believed me.
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:01 PM   #9
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I was just reading about a woman who solicited stories from people about their first periods & made them into a book.

It's called "My Little Red Book" & it's on my list of books to order & read at some point.

She has a Web site for it:
http://www.mylittleredbook.net/
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:20 PM   #10
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I started the summer before 6th grade--woke up to the mess and double me over cramps--had the cramps until I had my first child at 19.

My daughter got her first period the day she turned 13 in June--then didn't get it again until the following October in school--embarrassed due to the mess--never had cramps....
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:52 PM   #11
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I was nearly 14; I woke up one Saturday morning during summer vacation and it had started. I had a horseback riding lesson later so I didn't tell my mom because I was afraid she wouldn't let me go. I put a washcloth in my underwear and went riding. Later on that day I told my mom and she was so excited for me. She went out and bought me flowers and made me a cake. All in all it was not a bad experience. I do wish I'd get flowers and cake every month, though !
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:58 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thighs Be Gone View Post

What age do you have the talk? I was thinking 4th grade was a good time but now with the moms telling me that isn't early enough--well, just WOW. I don't know!
I had to talk to my oldest, WAY early because of some things she had heard on a school bus and was repeating so I don't know what the appropriate age is.
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Old 05-05-2009, 09:15 PM   #13
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I started towards the end of the first grade.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:14 PM   #14
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My daughter started at age 11 but we had the talk the year before because one of her friends was 10 and had hers. My daughter cried at first and I hugged her and made a big deal over her and then said
"Hey, now you can shave your legs"! The tears were gone and never a problem since! Just keep communication open. Be relaxed and she will be relaxed. I always made sure she had items with her. I was not so lucky. I was 11 and terrified, with awful cramps, and that nasty belt...yech! Oh well, I am past menopause now so tis all a memory!!!
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Old 05-06-2009, 02:03 AM   #15
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mine was during summer vacation - whew! it was actually a couple days before my 11th birthday and i just remember freaking out and crying because it shouldn't happen so soon. i don't know why i was surprised, i'd already been wearing a bra since i was 9.

i do remember having one of those nightmare start your period at school and bleed everywhere times. wearing a skirt too. lucky for me, most of the kids were on a field trip that i couldn't go to- so almost nobody was at school and no one noticed.
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