3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

LOVE ~ Is It Really ALL You Need?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-04-2009, 12:06 AM   #1
I'M A YOGA WIDOWER!
 
EZMONEY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 21,844

S/C/G: 201/186/180

Height: 6'

Wink LOVE ~ Is It Really ALL You Need?

One of the greatest bands of all time...THE BEATLES....had a hit song...ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

I don't think anyone would argue with me that LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER by CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE is definitely in ALL of our Top 10's

And who can forget MUSKRAT LOVE....another CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE "classic"

LOVE

Is it really ALL we need ~ does it really keep us together ~ and do we really wanna love a muskrat....I dunno....we don't have them here in southern California...not even sure what a muskrat is.

Here is my dilemma....

We all know football season is over for the most part....baseball is a few weeks away from spring training...LAKERS are the only basketball team worth watching.....which leads up to nothing to talk about at lunch with 8 construction guys....

so we share our troubles and struggles

a young man in our mix is looking to "go for" a girl....thinking it is time for him to get serious and stop fooling around. Looking to us for advice he brings up the question....."How do you know if she is the right one....how do you know if you really love her....is love enough to get married over?"


Now between the 7 of us guys left to answer the young man's questions we probably have about 12 ex-wives....so experts we are!

The answers varied and we only have a 30 minute lunch but the Cliff Notes version was this....

3 of 7 say ....never get married again!

3 of 7 say....love is enough!

1 of 7 said....I think it is possible to love just about anybody. Love is an action not a feeling. I think it is more important to like someone....enjoy being with them when you are not on date night I told the group that I met several women that I may have been able to fall in love with over time but geographically....financially...and children/ex-husband situations kept me from pursuing the relationships. I felt that there was too much "baggage" from both of our situations.....being divorced and all.

The group told me I wasn't "fair".....that I should have re-married for love alone....

They asked me why I married Angie....I told them "because she had a van that would carry our 3 children"

What do you think?

IS LOVE ENOUGH?
__________________
As long as I live I will TESTIFY HIS LOVE!
EZMONEY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:12 AM   #2
Gain Control/Release LBS
 
JuliaDH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,704

S/C/G: 338/ticker/180

Height: 5'2"

Default

And none of you follow hockey? NHL has lots more to go. And as I have learned over 10yrs marriage. Its easier to figure out hockey than to figure out marriage/love.
__________________
May 8 - June 1 2014 Goal
JuliaDH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:18 AM   #3
I'M A YOGA WIDOWER!
 
EZMONEY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 21,844

S/C/G: 201/186/180

Height: 6'

Default

Not much ya gotta know about a puck JULIA....

now about us men...

we are delicate creatures
__________________
As long as I live I will TESTIFY HIS LOVE!
EZMONEY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:23 AM   #4
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ontario's West Coast
Posts: 13,968

S/C/G: 165/147/128

Height: 5'3"

Default

A little bit of forebearance never hurt.

On a more serious note ... I just plain like John. There's nobody else I'd rather spend time with.
__________________
... Susan
Eat good food. Move yourself. Lift something.

You'll be surprised how much you don't miss grain.
srmb60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:34 AM   #5
Moderating Mama
 
mandalinn82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Woodland, CA
Posts: 11,936

S/C/G: 295/200/175

Height: 5' 8"

Default

I really, truly, honestly do not believe that love is enough to get you through. It's enough to get you going, but love isn't what carries you through the rough parts, where you sort of want to strangle eachother, or when external circumstances start pulling you apart.

What I DO believe is enough to get you through is 100% commitment to making things work from both of you. And I think it's hard to build that sort of commitment WITHOUT starting from a place of love. So love is necessary, but not sufficient, to have a long-lasting, successful partnership...it CAN drive you to make a strong commitment, but it doesn't HAVE to.
__________________
Goal Met - 10/28/07 - My Progress Picture Collage - My Goal Story - Where Have I Been?

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!

Maintained Oct 2007-Sept 2011, then got pregnant. Our baby boy was born in May, 2012...now to lose the baby weight!!
mandalinn82 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:37 AM   #6
Let's do this!
 
junebug41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: 3rd cornfield on the left.
Posts: 3,815

S/C/G: 210/149/140

Height: 5'6.5

Default

No. Love is not enough. You may find in the end that everything you did for someone was an act of love, but to make you continually do it is something else... work. Compromise. Devotion. Commitment. Faith. These are the words the come to mind. You do them in the name of love, I think. But all are necessary. I hope that makes sense.

On a side note, I walked down the aisle to the Beatles "All You Need is Love" played by a string quartet. I sang the whole way
__________________
Jen


2011- putting on the baby weight
2012- TAKING OFF THE BABY WEIGHT
junebug41 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:41 AM   #7
Nicole
 
nicolen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 987

S/C/G: 261/226/140

Default

Exactly what Amanda said.

Don't get me wrong, love is very important, but it's not everything. Even when everything's wonderful, relationships are hard work. I think both of you have to put in a lot of time and effort into a relationship for it to work and this has to be from day one of the relationship, not from the time things start getting rough. It's totally about being committed both to each other and to making the relationship work..

Love is essential, but it's only one essential element out of several that you need to make things work. It's basically the starting point...
__________________
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

nicolen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 12:44 AM   #8
Member
 
mandi78's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 74

S/C/G: 309/309/220

Height: 5'2"

Default

Whoever said "Love is an action, not a feeling" must have never really loved anyone. I CHOOSE to perform actions; walking, tying my shoes, bathing, etc....I don't CHOOSE to love someone, I just do....or I don't. Does anyone else feel that way?

However, I do agree that "sometimes love just ain't enough".
__________________
Mandi-34

"WHAT LIES BEHIND US AND WHAT LIES BEFORE US ARE TINY MATTERS COMPARED TO WHAT LIES WITHIN US"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson





mandi78 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 01:08 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
aware210's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Katy, Texas
Posts: 237

S/C/G: 178/131.6/108

Height: 5'

Default

i think love is a motivater if any thing...

it motivates you to communicate and to trust and to stick together when times get tough. Compromise, Devotion, Commitment, and Faith are all motivated by love.

I dont think loves i ALL you need, but i know that you wont get anywhere without it.
__________________



Last edited by aware210 : 02-04-2009 at 01:10 AM.
aware210 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 02:52 AM   #10
Member
 
Americaninuk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 71

S/C/G: 325/see ticker/180

Height: 5'3

Default

I think love is enough.. with a strong and abiding love, everything else seems to fall in place. about 2.5 years ago my family had a horrible event (wont give too much info) but without the love and support from my husband i dont know if i could have survived it.
we have been married almost 5 years.. we had that horrible family thing, severe money probs, moved countrys, i gained weight, the stresses we have endured have been gigantic... but... we are closer than ever.. we have Never fought or argued even tho we have had all this happen... and when 'life' seems to be too much for me, a hug, an i love you from my husband, his shoulder for support, etc.. gets me thru it all...
knowing he loves me 'unconditionally' gives me a power of sorts.. not over him, but just hmmm how to explain lol... kinda like.. i must be one heck of a valuable woman for someone as loving and wonderful as ian to love me so much.. so when others try to bring me down, hurt me, etc...they cant cut as deep cause of the love i share with my husband.. not sure if this makes sense.. prob not lol.. its 8am and im on my first cuppa lol
__________________


goal for when i fly home june 4th.. prob too much to hope for, but what do ya have without hope? lol
Americaninuk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 03:34 AM   #11
Senior Member
 
aware210's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Katy, Texas
Posts: 237

S/C/G: 178/131.6/108

Height: 5'

Default

what is it with wonderful guys who happened to be anmed ian? lol! That is my fiance's name.. and anytime i hear something about an ian, its never bad.
__________________


aware210 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 03:45 AM   #12
Member
 
Americaninuk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 71

S/C/G: 325/see ticker/180

Height: 5'3

Default

aware- funny, i hadnt thought about it, but he is the First 'ian' i have ever known.. must be somethin about the name lol
__________________


goal for when i fly home june 4th.. prob too much to hope for, but what do ya have without hope? lol
Americaninuk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 08:53 AM   #13
Do something hard today
 
happy2bme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
Posts: 7,715

S/C/G: Macys Balloon/Chubbette/OK

Height: Fun Size

Default

Was having a chat with my co-workers yesterday, several of which are Indian and have arranged marriages. We were talking about the differences between arranged and "western" marriages. The point was made that though the Indians may meet their mates as strangers, they trust in the people who arranged the marriages for them and they learn to grow together as they fall in love. While not all arranged marriages last, most do. Whereas Western couples meet, go ga ga over each other, marry and then fall "out of love". An interesting point I thought...

Being in a very long term relationship myself - I'd have to say that it takes more than love to get you through. Love will help you through the good times, but's it's the committment to stay together and work things through the bad times that matters most because if you look back, your relationship and your feelings ebb and flow as you go through life together.

As for you Gary - all I can say is that guys appear to look at marriage completely different than women do
happy2bme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 09:05 AM   #14
Gain Control/Release LBS
 
JuliaDH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,704

S/C/G: 338/ticker/180

Height: 5'2"

Default

I firmly beleive that love is a choice. Feelings mislead you. But for long term endurance after hurts and disappointments you can either choose to continue love, grow from the experience together & forgive...or you can choose to let your heart rule by hurt feelings and be crushed. But what good can come from that? To many people quit after the gaga feeling is over. They deprive themselves of the deeper love that can grow out of forgiveness. The unconditional love.
__________________
May 8 - June 1 2014 Goal
JuliaDH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2009, 09:33 AM   #15
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: WV
Posts: 168

S/C/G: 197/197/150

Height: 5'7

Default

See I'm more of a Captain and Teneille fan myself.

My boyfriend and I have been through a lot and I do mean a lot of things that many other people would've let break them apart, but we kept going because we knew we loved each other and we just had to find a way to work through the issues.

I love him more today than I felt in a while, it took a lot of faith, a lot of patience, and a lot of time, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We are strong and love kept us together
WVUFan86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:43 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2