So,
Ladies, I need your help. I am having a major moral issue here with the MIL, and I don't really know how to handle it. I figure some unbiased positions, both from a MIL POV and a DIL POV will help to balance out my emotions.
here goes...
So, about 2 weeks ago, we were over the in-laws' house. New Year's day, FILwas out of the house, so it was me, my husband, my BIL and my MIL. So, we're just sitting and talking, and this is the discussion that transpired:
MIL: So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
DH: Yes, we know, Ma.
MIL: I am having a party.
DH: Oh, are you? Are you planning it?
MIL: Nope, you are. I want the whole thing... tent, catering, invite both sides of the family.
DH: Oh...
Okay, now here is some background. First of all, BIL has no job. So, that leaves the entire party planning up to us. Second of all, my job isn't very secure at the moment. Lots of changes going on in the company. We have 2 car payments, student loan payments, and $850/mo rent.
Now, I'll be honest with my feelings... I am angry. I am angry at the way she "asked", basically demanding that we do this for her. This is not a first time incident... every time her birthday rolls around, up to 2 months in advance, she is telling us "Yup, so you're gonna take me out to dinner". This type of attitude reeeeally rubs me the wrong way. There's more back history here, but I'll keep it out, trying to just stick to the story at hand.
Because of her attitude, I really don't want to throw her the party. The DH and I figure it will cost us about $600. DH is using the money for the main reason why we shouldn't throw the party... however, he made sure to point out tonight that we were planning to go to Vegas this summer, which would cost more than $600.
Now, I have a few moral issues. First of all, I feel guilty about going on vacation now- because now we can't use the money as an excuse not to throw the party. So... now my only reason for not throwing the party is because I think she's rude. Probably not a good enough reason, right? Second of all, I feel guilty spending this much money on my in-laws... and not on my own parents. So, if we were going to spend $600.00 this year on the in-laws, then we should also spend that on my parents. That's $1,200- definitley can't afford to go to Vegas if we give away $1,200.
This whole situation is just making me angrier and angrier the more I think about it, and I don't know what to do. It's like a vicious cycle of guilt and anger, and I don't know what to do.
Help! How do I handle this?