I'm 25 and my boyfriend of 2.5 years is 33. I weigh 273, he weighs in excess of 290 (I don't know exactly how much).I'm not sure, I'm really bad about eyeballing these things, but I think he's about 6'0'' to my 5'4''. I am making a conscious and determined effort to lose weight and he says his "diet starts Monday." Well, that particular Monday was about a year ago and nothing's happened yet. (in all fairness, mine was supposed to have started right around the same time, but that's not the point. the point is that my man is still quite husky)

Secretly, I'm kind of happy. I like him better fat. I want to be slimmer, but I want him to be fat, and it isn't because of any competitive insanity or anything, I just prefer meaty men. I have dated men of all body types and this is the one I like the very best. If he were to lose all the weight plus too much and be skin and bones, I would still adore him and want to be with him, I'm just afraid that I might not feel as physically attracted to him as I am now, if he gets down to what he calls his "fightin' weight," about 160. I don't think I have to much to worry about, as his idea of 'diet' appears to be alternating Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper every other day, instead of a 20-ouncer of each daily.

As long as we are happy and healthy, nothing else matters, but I was just wondering if being over weight is what makes me prefer overweight men. I liked a medium build when I was younger and thinner. I'd appreciate some feedback from anyone who can relate. I just think it's interesting the way being overweight works on your body on one level, and your mind on another.

I use to prefer big men, but I think (for me personally) it was because subconsciously I wanted to be the small one in the relationship. Plus, you feel protected around someone you know no one would want to mess with.

Now that I'm with someone who is ridiculously skinny (5 foot 11, 143 pounds), I've suddenly become much more appreciative of his type...so it may all be circumstantial, with bias depending on whoever you're dating at the time. Of course it helps that I'm smaller than I use to be, so I don't feel as bad around him as I use to.

Everyone has their "types" though, men and women.

I hate the term "chubby chaser" though. I've always felt it turned bigger people into a fetish object instead of a normal, legitimate option for a significant other.

Maybe I'm just to uptight, though!

I completely agree about the 'chubby-chaser' thing, the whole concept disgusts me. I dated a guy once, and I mean ONCE, who told me after dinner that he liked having sex with women over 250 lbs because jiggling fat turns him on. The date was pretty much over at that point, obviously, esp. considering I was nowhere near that heavy at the time. He was kind of small, I mean only maybe 5'6'' and of slender build, so it made little sense to me.


Another guy hit on me at a bar, and when I politely declined (he is rather too big, even for my taste) he laughed, apologized, and told me he couldn't help but try because he just loves 'fat p***y' that much. And tried to get me to change my mind and go out with him after all! Yeah, right!

This may be a roundabout way to answer but...

I've had crushes on all sorts of guys. Short, thin, tall, fat, very cute, geeky cute, kinda weird looking, you name it, but I only dated guys who were in the 250+ range. Now, I don't know if that's because I thought I had a better chance with them ("Hey I know they're fat and I think they're cute, maybe they don't mind that I'm fat") or because I thought I'd feel "smaller" next to them.

The man I married was about 280 or so at one time (when I was up at my highest) and I can't say that I was more attracted to him then or now (he's down around 240), but I can say that he's definitely healthier & that makes me happy.

He mentions that his goal weight is probably 200/210 and he's about 6'1". I will say that as much as I want him to be healthy & drop those pounds, I don't want him to get there before I do. That sounds very selfish & awful, but I was heavier than him for the majority of our relationship so far, and I don't want to be heavier again.

I do admit that he's a cutie, though. And when I saw a picture of him in his wrestling gear when he was around 200 lbs (from highschool) I practically drooled. (He jokes he'll put back on the spandex when he gets to goal... and I kind of hope he's not really joking.)

But... all in all, I think it's still split between wanting to be smaller, and believing that only another fat person could understand & like me.

Okay...back in the day when I was 124lbs and had been all my life, I was well into my 30's and had never been married. All my friends told me I was too picky and it drove me NUTS. I just wanted a nice, average guy and everyone would fix me up with really tall, skinny guys when my favorite types were always shorter and chubbier. for instance, I finally figured it out one day while watching Home Improvement what my type was...Al Borland. One day I was at a bar and met a guy that I really liked named Fred. It was wintertime and he had on a winter coat. Well, we talked and talked and I thought I'd met this really nice big, cozy guy and I couldn't wait to get to know him more. Well, he came into where I worked and had on a tight T-shirt and come to find out, he was a body builder, not chubby. Totally turned me off, especially the look in his eye like I was supposed to be impressed. I was looking forward to cozy nights by the fire with a big guy in a flannel shirt. Not some guy that looked like a chicken wing with a bloated ego.

So, eventually, I found my Al Borland...5'6", 220lbs, wears lots of flannel and...he knows how to fix stuff!!

LOL that sounds about perfect! I love those Al types, but it was Silent Bob who opened my eyes.

I cannot say that I am after big men really - I am more open to a bigger man now than I was, but in general I want someone who is taking care of himself... part of my motivation for getting in shape - so that I can attract one of those guys *that's a secondary goal though - the primary goal is still to get the weight off and feel better.

Right now though - I don't think I would be choosey- if someone wanted to go out with me, I would go...

No, actually. DH would like to lose 10 pounds but he has always been in great physical shape and athletic since I met him. That's part of who he is. He runs with my DD and with me, bikes for fun, bikes to work, plays soccer on a men's league, plays soccer with the kids, plays tennis. Being athletic is part of who he is. He would not be the husband or dad he is without that piece of him.

I know men who are 300 pounds can kick a soccer ball around with their kids, but it is more than that.

He taught me to ride a bike and we go mountain biking. When I say he runs with my daughter and me, I'm talking 6-10 miles at a time---of course when he runs with my daughter, they are 8 minute miles, 10 minute miles with me. Our family would be very very different if he was not fit.

His athleticism is part of our family dynamic. It is not the only reason we love him, of course, but things would be very, very different.

I think my "type" is a man who is muscular but not overbuilt or overcut, taller than me, long legs ...

OK, I'm snapping back to reality ...

The truth is, it's a very mental thing for me. If we connect mentally, I'm going to find him attractive regardless of his body. At least to a certain extent. I don't think I would be fully honest if I claimed I would be just as attracted at ANY weight.

I don't mind bigger, husky guys...but I am totally not attracted to the beer gut. If a guy looks pretty thin, but then has this gigantic beer belly... I just can't do it. I feel so bad, but I can't. And it makes me feel hypocritical.

Typically I like tall, thinner guys. Don't know why, it's just always been my preference.

I dont really like bigger men. My hubby was always super thin for wrestling. But since he got married, he put on some weight, or as we like to call it...finally filling out, lol. He looks much more healthier now, which I just love!!!

I don't have a physical type that I prefer in men; I have a mental/emotional type. They have to be smart (at least as smart as me), funny, a little playful, a little protective. They have to make me spark

My husband is losing weight along with me, and he's MUCH more physically attractive to me now than 50 pounds ago. I am really looking forward to seeing him slim down even more; he's now approximately the same weight he was when I met him and has 50 to 70 pounds left to lose. The thing about his body is that he's very muscly; he's on the stocky side. And muscles are hot, but the extra fat he's got on his belly...not so much. He is now a slimmer, still muscly, not-that-tall man with the most beautiful red beard. Mmmmmm.

Also, I want him to be slimmer simply because it is not healthy to carry around the extra fat. So I'm super-happy about the way he's cleaned up his diet, that he is still walking a lot, and that he's added in some strength-training.

However, like Faerie, I am also in a race down the scale against my husband. This is somewhat of a losing battle, as he naturally burns more calories than me due to his greater muscle mass. However, I'm currently keeping up, and I've actually started tracking my calories in hopes of speeding my loss a little bit so that I can stay ahead of him. He doesn't do much deliberate portion-control, so I have the advantage in that. Yes, I'm competitive!

I'm the opposite! I've always wanted a skinny guy, tall guy. I find the tall skinny guy super attractive. I never wanted a bulky guy, even bulky muscular but some muscle is good. My husband is skinny (145 lbs, 5'11) and has some muscle on him but not super muscular. We started dating when I weighed twice his weight (290).

Here is the kicker... I was never attracted to blonde guys, all my crushes and loves have been dark haired, dark eyed guys but I fell in love with my husband due to his personality and he's blonde and has light eyes. He was the first blonde guy I ever dated, go figure.

I fell in love with my DH when he was a tall skinny 10th grader lol He started lifting weights in the Marines and now I want to drool every time I see him

So no...I don't think I am attracted to hefty guys. I like them with muscles and athletic though

I was the same way! DH is 6'0, 210 and some extra "meat" and has blonde hair and brown eyes... basically, the complete opposite from the dark haired shorter, thin (yet athletic) guys I had gone for in the past.

When my mother first laid eyes on him, the first words out of her mouth were, "My word. You could have blonde children!!"