Okay...I have been berated for my bedtime routine by the more G.I.Mom-types out there that leave their kids to cry themselves to sleep, (not that there's anything wrong with that if it works for you....just didn't work for us...I cried more than my kids!) but this is what worked for me.
Get yourself a good pen light and a good book. Buy some soothing music and a night light for the room. Have your little one brush his teeth and climb on into bed and read him a good long book while you lean over the side of the bed with your arm, so he can read along or look at the pictures while laying his head on his pillow...I always liked the Disney hard cover books, myself. Then after the story, turn on the music, turn off the lights and turn on the night light. Then, kiss him good night, get comfy on his bedroom floor and whip out your own good book with the penlight. Minimal talking to mom is essential. I read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit this way. I'd read until he fell asleep and I have to say, in a hectic family life, this was about the only time I had to myself and it got me out of hanging out on the couch watching Austin Powers/James Bond/MXC with my hubby...it didn't take me long to really look forward to this half hour on my son's bedroom floor.
Eventually, I would put Kyle to bed and say, "I'll be right back...I have to go check on something in my room...you stay right here." And he would! I would go back to him and hang out for a minute and then say, "Hold on, I have to pee..." and I'd come back and hang out for a minute and eventually, after a week or two, I'd say, "I'm going to watch the news in my room for a minute, I'll be right back." and I would and eventually, I'd come back and he'd be out like a light. And even more eventually, I'd put him in and I could tell from his grunt and moans that he was looking forward to turning in and I'd jsut kiss him good night and he'd go out. This process took about six months and I have to say, I sort of miss reading in his room while listening to classical guitar music and listening to his breathing next to me. Bedtime is a process and it can either be a torturous or pleasant way to end a day. I enjoyed taking my time with it. Before you know it, they're teenagers and they don't want anything to do with you and you'll miss these days. At one point, I'd read to him for about 45 minutes while my daughter brushed my hair and practiced braiding. I miss those days so much. But, on the other hand, I really enjoy getting a full night's sleep.
good luck!!