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OOPS! I forgot Mom died!

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Old 11-20-2008, 09:39 PM   #1
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Default OOPS! I forgot Mom died!

Yesterday I asked Angie "Babe, when did my mom pass away?" She says "last year on Oct. ? (I forgot already) Why?"

"I dunno, I think of her often, just never though about the anniversary of her death passing over a month ago"

"Honey, your grandma died a year ago this month too"

"Oh yeah...forgot about that one too. I was just talking to Russ about her today"

I know some of you know why I have such peace with this...but I still want to thank all of you for helping me through that rough road in my life last year

As a family we will hold our 2nd annual "remembering Grandma Judi" the week-end after the Superbowl (we set the date last year...Grandma Judi would never want a day for her to mess with her "guy's" Superbowl! It will be at my house and I will cook Granma Judi's chili...it will be a happy day...with probably 20+ people here
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:01 PM   #2
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I think of that as "you are past the grief and just reliving the happy memories" .

I have dates I can't forget -- my mother-in-law passed away when my oldest was 1 1/2 on Memorial day (the first night we lived in our new house), my grandmother passed away the same year on my sister's birthday and my Aunt passed away from brain cancer last year on December 27 -- because she "didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas".

The grief of someone passing seems unbearable, but the joy of having had them in your life and the comfort of knowing they are watching over us seems to bring comfort.

If she's anything like you Gary -- we would all have been a better person for having known her
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:03 PM   #3
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Gary - the actual date isn't important - but what a great way to celebrate her life I'm sure she will be smiling as she "oversees" the chili recipe.

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Old 11-20-2008, 10:11 PM   #4
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GARY ~ that's a good idea to have a celebration on the anniversary of your Grandmother Judi and your mother's passing. My mother passed away on Friday, June 5, 1993; the reason I remember the date so vividly is becuz it was just over a week before our anniversary; and DH's Dad also passed the same month the next year in June of 1994.

My mother was a strong Christian who loved her kids and was talented and gifted, creative and very smart, hard-working and industrious! She had an amazingly beautiful singing voice, which unfortuneately, none of her many children inherited. We miss her presence, as she was the true Matriarch of our family (spiritually as well), but somehow I think that she is up there doing something to help the people on earth somehow.

At first, I thought that she may just be relaxing, but then I realized that after awhile, she would get bored with that and would probably ask GOD if she could do something to help others.

I had some interesting dreams of her after she passed, and one esp keeps coming to mind: where she came to show me a place she was at; and she told me that it was a kind of place that was made for heaven and/or for her. I think she was trying to show me a glimpse of heaven.

I may suggest my siblings do something to celebrate our mother, and both our grandmothers (Irene and Hazel) as they were both devout and kind and loving ladies; we could not have asked for better grammas than those two sweet women.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful celebration and remembrance day!!! ROSEBUD
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:23 PM   #5
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Rosebud - we must be related -- my grandmothers were Irene and Hazel!! Irene Gertrude and Hazel Evelyn.
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:31 PM   #6
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Thanks Gals ~

Rosebud Grandma Judi, actually the kids called her Grammi Judi, is my mom.

For those that don't know, when we were growing up we were like most middle class people and didn't have a lot of money prior to the mid 70's. Whenever we got together as a family Grammi Judi (mom to me) made chili....chili goes pretty far when feeding a group...and cheap. So, as a family from myself and siblings and our kids we always "favored" Grammi Judi's chili...because we knew it would mean we would all be together as a family.

Nowadays they look forward to "dad' and Angie's BBQ's"

but the Grammi JUdi tradition will not be forgotten.

We decided on the day last year....after my sister got back home to California from taking care of my mom and grandma. It happened to be the first day we could all be together as a family...with as I said over 20...it just happened to be the Saturday after the Super Bowl....so we all agreed to have it every year on that day.

We get together as a family once a month anyway...at least...fun times.
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Old 11-21-2008, 12:17 AM   #7
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Hello all, I'm on my third post....working up to 10 so I can message my sister Justwant2Bhealthy. Just, (cuz I can't call you by your beautiful real name on here), I too have the same memories of our dear mother. Everything you said is so true and I do miss her, Grandma Irene & Grandma Hazel. Very fond memories of our Grandma's. I miss Adeline too, she was our surragate grandmother and loved her dearly! Ahhhhh, someday I hope to join them in heaven as I suspect they should all be there and are waiting for us. I look forward to it actually. Sweet, sweet memories for sure! Off now to try a fourth post! Thanks for you patients folks!

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Old 11-21-2008, 12:19 AM   #8
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P.S. Justwant2Bhealthy, I remember you telling me about that dream. Was a very interesting and colourful one! I have no doubt in my mind what she was trying to tell you.....or what God was trying to tell you!
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Old 11-21-2008, 12:34 AM   #9
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Okay bear with me one more under this thread. Justwant2Bhealthy, I believe our mother is up their leading one of God's choirs. She had the patience of a saint when it came to teaching music, even teaching us in our youths. Remember her being our walking dictionary and encyclopedia? I sure do!
Funny thing is when the day she went home to her Father, I know when it is, but it always passes by before I remember and then it is like....oh it was the day of her passing a week ago. I think that is a good thing actually as I feel I would be more tormented if I remembered on the exact day. A mix of emotions I guess....all the hurt and sadness, but at the same time I new the Lord had taken her home!

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Old 11-21-2008, 01:59 PM   #10
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GEE, GARY ~ Ooops ... sorry, we didn't mean to hijack your thread. As you can tell, my Sweet Sis has an interesting sense of humor -- we're not alike at all, really!


HI SIS ~ hope you join us over in some other threads ... oh, I see that you have! TTYL ... Rosebud
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Old 11-21-2008, 05:15 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EZMONEY View Post
Yesterday I asked Angie "Babe, when did my mom pass away?" She says "last year on Oct. ? (I forgot already) Why?"

"I dunno, I think of her often, just never though about the anniversary of her death passing over a month ago"

"Honey, your grandma died a year ago this month too"

"Oh yeah...forgot about that one too. I was just talking to Russ about her today"

I know some of you know why I have such peace with this...but I still want to thank all of you for helping me through that rough road in my life last year

As a family we will hold our 2nd annual "remembering Grandma Judi" the week-end after the Superbowl (we set the date last year...Grandma Judi would never want a day for her to mess with her "guy's" Superbowl! It will be at my house and I will cook Granma Judi's chili...it will be a happy day...with probably 20+ people here
That must have been a very hard time for you and your family. So sorry for your loss, but glad that you know you'll be seeing them again someday. I never can remember the dates of my grandparents passing either, so I don't think that's too unusual. For us, all 4 died very unexpectedly and that made it very hard for awhile, but I know I'll see at least 3 of them again. It's so much nicer to remember and celebrate the wonderful times everyone had together, isn't it? Your remembrance day sounds like a really nice idea.
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:10 PM   #12
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Hello EZMONEY, I totally feel I was terribly insensitive to your original post, without actually meaning to, considering you originated it and were expressing such personal thoughts! I am sincerely sorry for your loss and the difficult year you must have had. Losing someone so close to our hearts is, what I believe, to be the most difficult thing we face on this earth. In fact, your post and my DS's post brought back a rush of fond memories I have for my deceased grandmothers & dear mother. I too hope that you have a wonderful happy gathering "remembering Grandma Judi" and celebrating her life. It's lovely that your family is so very close to you! I wish you a lovely day!
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Old 11-22-2008, 03:26 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Numpster View Post
Hello EZMONEY, I totally feel I was terribly insensitive to your original post, without actually meaning to, considering you originated it and were expressing such personal thoughts! I am sincerely sorry for your loss and the difficult year you must have had. Losing someone so close to our hearts is, what I believe, to be the most difficult thing we face on this earth. In fact, your post and my DS's post brought back a rush of fond memories I have for my deceased grandmothers & dear mother. I too hope that you have a wonderful happy gathering "remembering Grandma Judi" and celebrating her life. It's lovely that your family is so very close to you! I wish you a lovely day!
Oh goodness no NUMPSTER

I did not in any way what so ever feel you were insensitive to my post! I had hope for others to share their memories! It was a difficult couple of months in my life last year because of losing my mom and grandma (my mom's mom) but seriously it didn't last long. I had a wonderful relationship with my mother. She would not want her kids to be too sad that she was gone and would want us to be happy for the time we did share together.

I think of my parents often, and for conversation purposes it is nice to "remember" about how long they have been gone....almost 20 years for my dad now....but as a family we don't focus too much on the days of our loved ones death. Of course certain ones will be remembered....my dad Dec. 7th for obvious reasons and my little brother's because he had a heart attack on July 4th and died a week later.

To set Grandma Judi's rememberance day as the week-end after our SuperBowl just happened to work out that way. We try to get together each month as a family for dinner anyway so it gives us a special time to set time aside for all of our loved ones gone to be with our Lord.

Although I will say that at our first Grandma Judi's rememberance day I said a prayer to start the day off and that was all we mentioned her as we went about our day visiting and playing games....just as my mom would want.

Welcome and give your sis a from me!
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Old 11-23-2008, 02:29 AM   #14
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EZMONEY,
first off, I'm really sorry for your loss!
Time flies, doesn't it. I guess it's normal to be busied with everyday life and forget dates like that. It's not like you're not thinking about her, it's just life goes on. I can't believe my mom died wait lemme think..almost 5 years ago. I mean never in the world I would forget my mom, but with busy scheduals and such, I only realize it's been so long when it's her death's anniversery.
My biggest worry will be the fact that I won't be able to transmit my mom to my children properly. I hope I will be able to make her present in their lives even though her death happened before they are going to be born.
Good luck for your Grandma Judi's rememberanced day, it's a wonderful idea to preserve her memory on earth
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Old 11-23-2008, 09:24 AM   #15
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Thank you SOCCERPLAYER. My children were fortunate to know my mom well, being in their mid 20's and seeing her at least once a week from their birth. Many weeks they saw her at least briefly everyday. I am sure you will be able to share your mom with your future children in a way that they will "know" her.
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