Sometimes I get so carried away with thinking about my problems ( mainly my weight), that I forget there are others with much bigger problems than I have. It really makes me feel petty at times. I spoke to my younger sister last night on the phone. We havnt talked in months as we arent very close, but she had been on my mind so i thought id call. Anyhow, she is 40 years old, has emphysemia, steroidal diabetes, interstitial systitis, colitis, white lesions on her frontal lobe that they havnt diagnosed as of yet but she has horrible headaches from, cysts (benign thank God), on her liver, very weak bones from her steroidal use ( due to COPD), and they say her hips will probably both break within the year(they dont know how she has lasted this long), and she uses a walker. some of these things she had last time i spoke to her, but the walker, cysts, and diabetes are just in the last three months. She is on disability, has a caregiver in 5 days a week for 4 hours a day. She is single with no one to help her when the caregiver isnt there, and she had to send her 13 year old daughter to live with her father because she is too ill to look after her.
I look back over the last few years when i have gotten really depressed about being so fat and now im thinking 'how dare you'? I am healthy (thanks to every test known to man my GP ran on me a couple months ago. I have a wonderful husband that loves me. Two beautiful grown kids back in the states, and yet i have had the cajones to have pity parties about being fat.. Well, no more of that . I am going to lose this weight and quit feeling sorry for myself cause i cant eat what i want and have to give up certain things.. boo hoo to me lol... im going to get into shape so when hubby and i move back to oregon next year i will be able to help take care of my poor sister and hopefully learn to appreciate what i Do have instead of dwelling on what i dont. Yes, I still believe (even more now) that I do need to lose weight to be healthy, but.. Im not going to wallow in self pity any more, nor will i keep putting off losing weight till 'tomorrow'. Sorry for the vent, i just had to unload. I hope youre all having a wonderful day and staying on plan