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Old 10-22-2008, 11:47 AM   #1
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Unhappy Help Work troubles

Get out the cheese I'm gona' whine.
I have a coworker who is impossible. She used to be a sort of "manager" I think the title was self appointed. When she went on maternity leave I filled her place, while doing my own job with much abuse from her sister who also works there. That was last May.
I feel like she doesn't really do anything, she has busy work, like deleting junk mail, but as far as real work that brings the company money, I don't know what it is.
I can't have a conversation with anyone without her butting in and making us recant the entire convo to her so she can put her .02 in. I am pregnant and her parenting advice is "not my style" to put it nicely. Normally I would freak out on her and let her pout, but there are only 4 people in my office, one is her sister.
Should I just grow up and let it go? I feel like a horrible person for wanting to kill another human being. Even if she does make horrible racist comments, not even funny racist like, about the Brittish, who we have determined are a different race, real racist comments about the "ching-chong" language Asians speak, or how creepy it is a doll said "Islam is the light"
I know that I should be more compassionate, but I am wearing thin. Every time she talks to me I feel like I am being attacked. Even the tone of her voice is combative. I feel better 'telling the wind'
any thoughts?
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Old 10-22-2008, 12:27 PM   #2
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Whew! She sounds like a pill. When are you on Mat Leave? I would think might be the best for the health of you and your babe to distance yourself from that negativity. I know it's hard not to be immersed in it when it's a small office, but the more time you spend on that nonsense is energy you could be spending on really important things like yourself.
I hope you have a good day,
Tam
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Old 10-22-2008, 12:48 PM   #3
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It's SO hard working in a smaller office or area when two people, particularly a manager, are close! I'm in the same situation. There are only THREE of us in this office, and our general manager and the other woman are best buddies. So when I have problems with the buddy, what can I say? They go out to lunch all the time and leave me alone to mind the office, and schedule vacation days together and leave me alone days at a time to do everything...their jobs AND mine.

If you can't do what greeneggsandtam said and distance yourself from it...is there someone higher up than she is? If her racist comments are making you uncomfortable it's a legitimate gripe. Talk to someone over her head and see if it gets solved. Above all else stay strong, don't let them get to you and don't quit your job or anything crazy like that...
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Old 10-22-2008, 12:52 PM   #4
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sounds awful. don't have advise but can def commiserate on working with miscreants.
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Old 10-22-2008, 01:08 PM   #5
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There has to be some way for you to let the boss know that this woman does no work at all. Weren't they a little surprised that you could do your job and hers at the same time? Can you band together with the fourth worker?
The next time she wants to know what you've been talking about, say you can't share right now, and if she insists, tell her you were planning her surprise party, but now she ruined it.
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Old 10-22-2008, 01:14 PM   #6
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I think there's someone at every work place that will just always grate on your nerves.
The racist comments are really uncalled for though.
That's what's technically called a "hostile" work environment.
I believe there are rules about that in the workplace (I know there are at the hospital where I work).
Can you possibly talk to the manager (or is that the sister)?
Sorry that you're having such a hard time

http://www.fcc.gov/owd/understanding-harassment.html

Take care
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Old 10-22-2008, 01:47 PM   #7
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yeah i also feel for you on working with miscreants as kittycat put it.

i have a new policy- i have a headset for my phone and i wear it ALL DAY and if someone tries to talk to me I point at it and give them a DUH look.
I have a "one time at bandcamp" girl that i swear must have been home schooled and never been around another human being before coming to work for us. seriously! and i also have too much information boy - i just ate about 10 lbs of taco bell- so you guys are gonna have an unpleasant evening! and two bosses who make statements like "was that person on the phone black?"
really? were they black? let me check my crystal ball.
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Old 10-22-2008, 01:54 PM   #8
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Thanks ladies. Its nice to talk to unbiased people, My husband works for the same company but in a different store, so he is no help, I just get "kick her in the teeth!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneggsandtam View Post
Whew! She sounds like a pill. When are you on Mat Leave? =
may, I'm almost 12 wks now. The really cranky period.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MindiV View Post
If you can't do what greeneggsandtam said and distance yourself from it...is there someone higher up than she is? If her racist comments are making you uncomfortable it's a legitimate gripe. Talk to someone over her head and see if it gets solved. Above all else stay strong, don't let them get to you and don't quit your job or anything crazy like that...
I almost quit my job, but I am pregs, so no one really likes to hire prego ladys, plus I LOVE my owner. I would follow him off a cliff, if it wasn't for him I would have burnt the building down.

I do talk to him, and now that he works in our building, he sees what I am talking about. Plus until a few weeks ago, I didn't really say anything. I figured that I could just do my job and play nice. That song and dance is getting old.

The kicker is, I hate that she gets to me. I hate it. I feel like less a person being bothered by such an obvious .... Pick your own adj.

Last edited by Kriket84 : 10-22-2008 at 01:55 PM.
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:23 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kriket84 View Post
The kicker is, I hate that she gets to me. I hate it. I feel like less a person being bothered by such an obvious .... Pick your own adj.
I completely understand. I have made a lot of progress in how I deal with and react (or not react, more like) with someone in my life, but it is still a challenge. In the end, it was exactly that - feeling like I was less of a person for the way I was reacting - that enabled me to start letting it go, even when I thought (and sometimes KNEW) I was RIGHT .
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