I love this place so, so much. I've been a member here for five years, with no loss to speak of in the first couple years, but even in the no loss days, the insight and inspiration of this site was helping me look at myself differently.
I don't really look at this as a "battle" anymore. I'm not fighting my body and my self, I'm learning to work with, not against myself. It really feels great to put "the war" behind me. I'm not exactly sure when the "fighting" stopped. Some of it was pretty early. Even in my late teens and early 20's, I was starting to look at myself beyond the tradtional diet and fat girl mentality that I was raised with. I resisted the notion that I had to put my entire life on hold until after I'd lost every ounce of weight that I needed to. I think I realized pretty early that if I put off all my dreams until I was thin, I could die without having had much of a life.
I don't exactly regret my life path, at least not most of it, but I do wonder what my life would have been like if I'd learned some of these lessons earlier.
|