This is SUPERLONG
Okay.. So this is my second year in college and upper-classmen get updated to a smaller suite. So I'm in a suite with 2 bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom. It's really nice, and there's 2 people to a room. Now.. one of the girls from the other room used to be suitemates with my roommate last year (they planned it like that).
She's never around, and she's super-nice and also very free with her food and things.. and her roommate is also rarely around but not as free with her food (we don't know her that well actually, she just got placed into the suite a few weeks ago).
My roommate though, at first she was cool, she went to bed early, would tell me before she had people over.. well maybe the first few days. Then.. she started having sleepovers, including her family! My boyfriend was over and we had gone out, only to come back to a note that said "my brothers are here, don't let them out, I'll be back at 11" - mind you, we were out til 3 am (ugh, visiting a friend at Columbia University, the travel time was awful), so that means she did not come back at 11 b/c the note was still posted for us. We came back to seeing her little brothers just sleeping on the couches while she was at someone else's suite watching movies!
That was one thing... I mean, don't bring your younger brothers along if you aren't going to watch them! We're not there to babysit. Then the next day, she took them to a parade and apparently lost the older one who was pissed at her, so she leaves a six year old in the suite without telling us for a few hours - My boyfriend and I really wanted to go out but we couldn't b/c how could we leave a kid alone and unsupervised?
Second - She's SO LOUD! She installed a phone in the suite which has a LOUD ringer, and it goes off constantly. It'll go off at 8 Am, wake the both of us up, and without any regard to her sleeping roommate, she'll start talking in the room LOUDLY... she could just go out into the living room! OMG, I remember waking up because she was calling my name and I ignored her, I asked her about it later and she said "Oh, I thought to see if you were awake so I could ask you to borrow lotion" - uhh.. HELLO.. you woke me up!
And another time, I was very sick and my boyfriend was taking care of me, and of course I ended up not getting enough s leep b/c she stays up whenever she has guests, and through my sleep I heard my boyfriend telling them (her exboyfriend and his best friend, don't ask me why they were BOTH sleeping over) that if anyone tries to wake me up he's going to throw em out a window b/c she's sick and needs to sleep.. So obviously it's not an issue for her to wake people up..
She had a guy over (not doing anything like that..) and I needed to sleep, so she went into the living room with him. She was on the phone the whole time that he was over, talking really loud! So I'm in my room and I still hear her very loudly and then the TV is on. I ask them to turn it down a little, but of course, her voice keeps me up. I end up putting in headphones as an alternative to earplugs (I really need to buy earplugs ASAP!). And then, if she's up earlier than me, she'll walk in and out of the room a LOT and close the door each time, enough to wake me up, and then I gotta hear the drawers opening and closing which is also loud, and sometimes I gotta wake up to her talking on her phone in the room!
It's so annoying!
Third - I understand that the other suitemate that is never around, is fine with her using her stuff and borrowing her food, and I'll admit my boy friend and borrowed a few items of food from her but we replaced them asap and let her know/asked as well.. but my roommate thinks she can just pull out my spoons and forks and bowl whenever she has guests over or something.
First, the other girl has many more spoons and forks and knives, plates and bowls than I do, I have enough for one person, second, you asked me once to use a fork and I said "ok" thinking that well its the beginning of the year, she'll buy herself forks and bowls.. we live around many cheap stores that you can buy them from and she knows this town well, yet she still sticks to using cheap plastic bowls (I'm talking reused chinese take-out bowls). She has enough money to get those things too, I know that for a fact.
It's annoying. It's also annoying to open your cabinets to pull out black pepper and see that it's fully open (I never do that, so it's gotta be her).
She also had her mom and boyfriend sleep over in the living room without even telling me.
And when my boyfriend and I were over we had the courtesy to pull the bed out into the living room and leave her her space but she would wake up and be SOO loud getting ready, slamming the doors, turning the light on, talking..
She's a nice girl, but she's SOO oblivious, it's annoying. And yes I would listen to her relationship problems for a while, but when you see that I'm doing something.. or better yet, watching a movie with my boyfriend, why would you interrupt and start talking to us about your relationship problems yet again?! And she knows I'm in a L-D relationship so the time I spend with him is one I really want to spend with him..
I don't know. I'm a very non-confrontational person, and the item-sharing didn't bother me at first b/c I didn't think she'd keep doing that, especially without telling me, it's really the sleep thing that irks me! I need my sleep to function! I can't study for midterms and not get enough sleep, I feel like a zombie.
I don't know what to say, she's soo oblivious too, it's not even that she does this knowingly.. I want to say something but I don't know what! She thinks I'm like the greatest roommate ever but her loudness is really getting in the way.
I'm not sure what to do.. I know I'm being too nice but at first, it wasn't an issue, boundaries seemed to be known, but now it's not!