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Old 10-08-2008, 10:30 AM   #1
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Default Cheating

1. Have you ever cheated?
2. Has someone cheated on you?
3. Would you forgive someone who cheated on you?
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Old 10-08-2008, 10:34 AM   #2
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1. In a legal standpoint, I suppose so? We've been seperated since '06. Divorce final this month!

2. Yes

3. Forgive, yes. But the relationship wouldn't continue. There'd be no trust anymore.
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Old 10-08-2008, 10:36 AM   #3
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I thought this was about food cheating at first...

1. no
2. yes
3. it depends who the person is. Just the random boyfriend who cheated on me...not really, move on...my husband, eh, it would take a lot to break us up.
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Old 10-08-2008, 10:39 AM   #4
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1. not on a husband
2. yes but not as a wife
3. not only did i forgive him, i married him.

FWIW my father cheated on my mom after 25 years of marriage.
she forgave him and they were together till she died in his arms and he cried like a baby.
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Old 10-08-2008, 10:41 AM   #5
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I thought it was about food too!

1) No
2) No
3) It'd be hard to forgive someone unless counseling was involved and it would depend on our relationship (married vs dating). Now I say this and some may think I'm naive but I know my husband would never cheat on me. If we grew to the point where he felt he would go in that direction, I know we would have other issues to work out.

I'd also say that I would never cheat. Again, if my head was in such a state that I would cheat, my relationship has bigger issues that either need to be fixed or the relationship would need to end.
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Last edited by nelie : 10-08-2008 at 10:42 AM.
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Old 10-08-2008, 10:58 AM   #6
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Yes
Yes
Yes

But that's very simplistic and I don't believe that anything as complex as human relationships can be boiled down to that black and white. Also I believe in poly relationships ... so that changes my perspective a bit.

.
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Old 10-08-2008, 11:01 AM   #7
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1. Yes, cheating now.
2. No, not to my knowledge.
3. Yes, and I hope I will be forgiven
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Old 10-08-2008, 11:09 AM   #8
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oh and I assume we are talking about physical cheating.

because that's very black and white.....


addressing EMOTIONAL cheating is even more difficult.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:09 PM   #9
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1. No
2. Not that I am aware of (and most likely the answer is a solid no)
3. I would have to assess that situation if and when it came up
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:09 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoChick View Post
Yes
Yes
Yes

But that's very simplistic and I don't believe that anything as complex as human relationships can be boiled down to that black and white. Also I believe in poly relationships ... so that changes my perspective a bit.

.
I would say if someone knows you are doing it and accepts it, then its not cheating, vice versa.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:14 PM   #11
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1. Have you ever cheated? yes, when I was young
2. Has someone cheated on you? yes
3. Would you forgive someone who cheated on you? no. In my experience, I've learned that if someone cheats on you once they'll do it again. I'd rather be single and happy then worrying about if my man is cheating on me. If I can say no to cheating, then the man can say no to cheating. Life's too short to have to keep tabs on someone. They're either faithful and really into you or not.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nelie View Post
I would say if someone knows you are doing it and accepts it, then its not cheating, vice versa.

interesting.

WE (my husband our friends and I) define cheating as this:


ANYTHING you can't, won't or don't tell your spouse.

that means if DH goes out and gambles away his paycheck without telling me, he's cheating.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:22 PM   #13
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1. No - not even during the pre-divorce separation.

2. Yes - My X was a serial cheater.

3. Yes - I did forgive and tried to work thru it, but he wasn't interested in the relationship. He just wanted to maintain the marriage while still behaving anyway that felt good for him. In fact, I think being married was more convenient for getting rid of the women when he was done with them.

We have been talking recently about getting back together, but not so much as an intimate couple as much as parents living in the same house till the girls are old enough to "fly solo". Kind of a relationship of convenience so to say. So if we are having relations with others in that case, it wouldn't really be cheating, but an open relationship.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:49 PM   #14
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assuming my dumb little teenage romances do not count my answers are

no
no
no. it takes a lot for me to forgive and some things are just not forgivable.
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Old 10-08-2008, 01:08 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybugnessa View Post
interesting.

WE (my husband our friends and I) define cheating as this:


ANYTHING you can't, won't or don't tell your spouse.

that means if DH goes out and gambles away his paycheck without telling me, he's cheating.
Thank God someone else feels this way.
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