Hey blonde,
Sorry to hear you're feeling down. You're having what used to be called an "existential crisis." Why does life have to be like this? What the heck is the point, it all just seems like a big struggle!
I'd second the suggestion about finding someone like a counselor to talk to. Someone who can add another perspective, because it's hard to talk yourself out of this frame of mind. It can be done, though.
If I can put on my philosopher hat for a moment
Yes, modern life means that you have to work to support yourself. It's always going to be like that. Work is work, and it's not always enjoyable. It can be, if you're doing something you like to do--but even then, there are days when you hate it. And school is like work, except there's an endpoint. Then there are the daily chores of living. So, if one isn't mindful, it can seem like drudgery all day long, every day. But it doesn't have to look like that!
It's possible to rise above those feelings of "everything's hard." It is, or it isn't--it depends on how you look at it. Your life is better than many peoples' lives, and worse than others. See if you can come to a place of acceptance about your need to work for a living. That's doesn't mean you start to love your job--just that you give up chafing against it and look for the opportunities that exist in it to make things better for yourself and others. (This can work with any job! Even if you work in garbage collection, you can see your job as making the world better. But the main point of any job is simply to make a living...)
It's always hard to find new jobs, but it can be done. You just have to keep on trying and see what comes up.
As for your husband--please don't get into the trap of thinking that if he really loved you, he would learn sign language. Obviously, he does not want to learn sign language. The question for you is, If he doesn't learn sign language, would you divorce him? Is this a deal-breaker? Only you can answer that.
Blonde, I'm going to move your post over to General Chatter simply because it doesn't relate directly to weight loss--although I can see how your outlook on life right now would affect that.
Ease up on yourself and those around you...
Jay