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06-27-2008, 03:10 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 543
S/C/G: 131/100/70 kg
Height: 167 cm
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I am confused and don't know how to react to this.
Ok to makes things short I was invited to a bbq party a month ago and I was the first person to answer the RSVP that I was attending. The hostess invited people both from our class and closer friends. Anyways today I called 2 hours before the party to ask for directions to the house and she goes "No one from our group is attending so if you want to come, be warned you will be all alone." So to be honest now I am feeling rather hurt. I must warn that I am a Cypriot and she is British so I don't know if I am lost in the cultural context, but I would have warned my guest a week ago and ask her if she/he wanted to come anyways. If the person replied yes, I would have tried to make her/him feel as comfortable as possible.
To be honest I feel extremely sad. I feel I was uninvited rather than warned and now I do not intend to go up to the party. I mean I am a bit shy around strangers but I am sure I could cope but now my confidence is completely destroyed. Also I want to text that I am not coming but I feel I am going to sound whiny.
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06-27-2008, 03:15 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149
S/C/G: 204/114/120
Height: 5'
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I would go ahead and go, you might make some new friends and have a good time. If the party turns out to be a terrible bore you can leave.
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06-27-2008, 03:17 PM
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#3
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Burning it away
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,375
Height: 5'2
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I think she only meant it because if you did go and knew nobody she might have felt bad that she hadn't told you. I personally preffer going places when I at least know a few people or I feel slightly akward and she was probably just trying to prevent that. You should try to not to get down about it, I bet it was nothing personal hun 
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06-27-2008, 03:37 PM
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#4
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Former Quitter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 5,500
S/C/G: 310/310/180
Height: 5'7
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she said, "be warned, you will be all alone?" That certainly sounds like an ungracious host. I'd pass on this invite.
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06-27-2008, 03:44 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 552
S/C/G: 195/161/144
Height: 5'9"
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Go! Tell yourself it's to practice being outgoing and friendly, and you will probably have a great time. You might even make a few new friends!! Afterwards, your friend will think, "I'm sure glad she came!"
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06-27-2008, 03:45 PM
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#6
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I wont give in.
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ocala, Florida
Posts: 35
S/C/G: 312/188/130
Height: 5'8
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I would go to prove her wrong, and you could always leave.
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06-27-2008, 03:47 PM
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#7
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prepare for the BEST time
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 1,623
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Don't worry about sounding *whiny*, she doesn't even deserve a text message that you have changed your mind.....I'm sorry, the phrase "if you want to come" (verbatim)? is an odd way to say it.
How good a friend is she?
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06-27-2008, 04:05 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 543
S/C/G: 131/100/70 kg
Height: 167 cm
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We are not close. She is in my Post-graduate level course and I met her last year. The thing is that as a group, the 18 of the Post-colonial group make a very good team as friends and intellectuals. Oh and being honest the group rarely met with non-students of the course when we would go out (I have met bfs and gfs but not friends of friends). Tonight the people she invited in the party are all childhood friends and high-school friends and us 18. I feel like I am going to trespass in their territory now as no one of the group is coming.
Last edited by preetyladyserenity; 06-27-2008 at 04:06 PM.
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06-27-2008, 04:23 PM
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#9
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prepare for the BEST time
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 1,623
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Don't look at it as you would be trespassing. Put your feelings FIRST, if you don't want to go, it's because you have no common bond or interest with these people.
is there something else fun you could do instead so you won't feel like the evening is wasted? movie, shop?
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06-27-2008, 04:23 PM
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#10
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How much longer?
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: California
Posts: 69
S/C/G: 180/ticker/130
Height: 5'5'
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I understand how you feel. I do this to myself all the time.
After reading this, I was asking myself, what do you want out of life? Are you at the point of wanting to meet new people and make new friends, or are you ok with how your life is. If you are ok, then stay home. If you want to make new friends or change your life then go Don't worry about the now bad host! Worry about you. Be the person you always wanted to be. It sound like you don't know the host very well....so you can be anybody you want.
I wish you luck with your choice. Either way, let the host know in a very nice way it was rude.
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06-27-2008, 04:29 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 543
S/C/G: 131/100/70 kg
Height: 167 cm
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Heh, I just bumped into my roommate in the kitchen and he said he invited some common friends (we hang out sometimes) of ours for coffee and board-games and asked me if I wanted to join. So I am gonna spent the evening with 3 guys playing cards and talking. Not bad evening. I like the guys. 
Sorry about my insecure rant. It's also TOM time, maybe I was affected by it.
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06-27-2008, 04:35 PM
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#12
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Just keep breathing!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: East Texas
Posts: 1,071
S/C/G: 191.7/191.7/145
Height: 5'5
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I would pass on the bbq, if I were you, too. And I hope you have a BLAST with the guys! Hanging out with guy friends is how I prefer to spend my weekends  Have FUN!
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06-27-2008, 04:38 PM
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#13
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Come on Spring!
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Delta, Ontario, CANADA
Posts: 26,840
S/C/G: 232/170/150
Height: 5'0" on a tall day
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Just be sure to graciously let her know that you won't be there. No need to double the rudeness.
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06-27-2008, 04:39 PM
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#14
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Gettin Closer!!
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Middle of NoWhere!
Posts: 1,040
S/C/G: See Signature
Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground
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Sounds like a better plan surfaced, have fun with the games and guys!!!!
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06-27-2008, 06:13 PM
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#15
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blissfully gluten-free
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 473
S/C/G: 195/192/170
Height: 5'7"...................................... waist: 38"/34"/28"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preetyladyserenity
Heh, I just bumped into my roommate in the kitchen and he said he invited some common friends (we hang out sometimes) of ours for coffee and board-games and asked me if I wanted to join. So I am gonna spent the evening with 3 guys playing cards and talking. Not bad evening. I like the guys. |
Perfect!
See, you opened yourself up to possibilities and a better one came along. Wonderful!
Hope you're having a great night! 
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