3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

Devestated & need advice

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-06-2008, 12:58 PM   #16
Senior Member
 
sacha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,635

S/C/G: 163/128/125

Height: 5'5

Default

Thanks for the assistance. I will take everyone's advice into consideration. We have been speaking about it quite a bit (we've even been researching homes in the neighbourhood, checking out commuter times for the train, etc) and he purchased the Rosetta Stone for me already. Last night was just the discussion where it finally "hit me" that this is something that will probably happen within the next six months. I am renting right now (he owns his place), and if I need to come back to Vancouver, I can stay with my parents for a bit.

Thanks again.
__________________

Start: 145lbs around December 2012(*Baby born November 2012)
Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
Mini-goal 4: 125lbs
Long-term goal: 120-125lbs
Losing while nursing... slow and steady
Maintainer 2004-2009 & 2 babies & now losing from Nov 2012 - present

sacha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2008, 01:59 PM   #17
Today is a new day!
 
FrouFrou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Land of Oz
Posts: 9,888

S/C/G: 220/188/160

Default

No offense, but if he truly is the one, wouldn't you be willing to go wherever he goes? If you wouldn't have to work, then there wouldn't be a problem with whatever job you found. Sounds to me like your job/money is more important to you and I think you answered you own question.
__________________
Cristina
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Last edited by FrouFrou : 03-06-2008 at 02:00 PM.
FrouFrou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2008, 02:34 PM   #18
No surrender, no retreat
 
Hat Trick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Third Rock
Posts: 806

S/C/G: 170/148! :D /134

Height: Vertically comfy 5'2"; horizontally challenged

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faerie View Post
Quebec is in Canada.
LOL LOL LOL Uh, yeah I know. I misread her original post and thought she said he was moving back to France. Someone must have switched regular with decaf!

Hey Sacha, why did he decide to move back to Quebec? (There, is that better? )
__________________
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


END OF NOVEMBER GOAL:



EZ's 5lb. Challenge:

Round 1: 5/5
Round 2: 5/5 Finally!
Round 3: 1/5


The BIG Picture


Last edited by Hat Trick : 03-06-2008 at 02:34 PM.
Hat Trick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2008, 04:07 PM   #19
Senior Member
 
nylisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 208

Height: 5'8

Default

I agree with JayEll's advice. Especially the part about going out on your own during the day while he's at work to see how you'll adjust to living there.
__________________


Weight loss is since May 2004
nylisa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2008, 04:24 PM   #20
Former Quitter
 
GirlyGirlSebas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 5,489

S/C/G: 302.4/289.8/150

Height: 5'7

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sacha View Post
Today he decided that he wants to move back.
I find this phrase to be very troublesome. Big decisions such as this should be made by both partners in a relationship. Are you willing to give up your whole life in order to fit into his? What will he be giving up in this transition? I caution you to not make a quick decision on this move as you might have end up with some resentment issues in the future. I agree with the suggestion of going for a long visit to "test the waters."

Regarding this being "the one," I have a somewhat controversial opinion. I don't really believe that each person has only one true love or soul mate out there somewhere in the world. I believe that there may be many possibilities for each of us and it all comes down to choice and opportunity. If you decide not to go with him, that does not mean that you will have missed your one chance at true love and will never get the opportunity to have another awesome and complete love relationship in the future with someone else.
__________________
- Rhonda
Losing weight isn't for sissies!

Last edited by GirlyGirlSebas : 03-06-2008 at 04:26 PM.
GirlyGirlSebas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2008, 11:59 PM   #21
Junior Member
 
xmalkinx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 10

S/C/G: 245/245/135

Height: 5'4"

Default

I am from the province of Quebec and there are a lot of good things about the province.

It depends on where exactly he wants to move, but if he wants to move in the Montreal region, chances are you'll be able to get a job anyway even by speaking only English.

If you really love him, I think you should probably give it a go. Quebec is pretty awesome and you will most likely love it here.
xmalkinx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2008, 09:50 AM   #22
Senior Member
 
sacha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,635

S/C/G: 163/128/125

Height: 5'5

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by xmalkinx View Post
I am from the province of Quebec and there are a lot of good things about the province.

It depends on where exactly he wants to move, but if he wants to move in the Montreal region, chances are you'll be able to get a job anyway even by speaking only English.

If you really love him, I think you should probably give it a go. Quebec is pretty awesome and you will most likely love it here.

We'd be going to the north shore, about 30-45 min away from downtown by train (he'll work out there, I'll take the train).
__________________

Start: 145lbs around December 2012(*Baby born November 2012)
Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
Mini-goal 4: 125lbs
Long-term goal: 120-125lbs
Losing while nursing... slow and steady
Maintainer 2004-2009 & 2 babies & now losing from Nov 2012 - present

sacha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2008, 04:03 PM   #23
Senior Member
 
Robin41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 988

S/C/G: 292/144/145

Height: 5'10"

Default

So essentially he would like you to give up your entire life and move with him without any promise or commitment on his part? You say he's the one. Great. When you pictured your life with The One did you picture marriage and kids or just kids? It would concern me that he announced this move without discussing the pros and cons with you first. Sounds to me like he still considers himself a free agent to do whatever he likes.

A huge move away from family, to a place where you don't speak the language and can't work, is going to be a huge strain on your relationship for awhile. There's a chance he won't like being your only social outlet. Personally I would not make a move like that without a commitment on his part.
__________________
Robin41



Current Weight: 144 lbs.
Robin41 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2008, 04:20 PM   #24
Rennie
 
Shy Moment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,912

S/C/G: 228/Ticker/120

Height: 4 foot 11 inches

Default

Maybe I missed something in your post. Are you going to marry this man and then you both are going to move. I think that is wonderful that he understands all the changes for you and is going to be there for comfort and support while you find your way. Education, language so forth. If this is not what you are saying. What is the rush. You are wanting to turn your life upside down for a man that isn't even making a commitment to you. The " 1 " lasts forever or they aren't the one. Why not see each other for long weekends and vacations. While still where you are learn the language. Let him get settled and you two can enjoy being with each other while you get things in your life in order. I am sure it is going to be much easier for you to move there once you can communicate well.
__________________
Starting Date June 9, 2014

BMI 06/09/14 ( 44.5 ) BMI 06/09/14 ( 44.5)


Everything is a choice; we make the choice to be what we want to be or just talk about being what we want to be.


God, keep your arms around my shoulders and your hands across my mouth.

Sometimes God doesn't whisper in our ear what he wants us to hear. Sometimes he jumps up and down screaming PUT DOWN THAT COOKIE. We just don't listen.

Last edited by Shy Moment : 03-07-2008 at 11:59 PM.
Shy Moment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2008, 05:16 PM   #25
Anne
 
RealCdn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,631

S/C/G: 407/358-Dec2007/tracker/125

Height: 5'4"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robin41 View Post
A huge move away from family, to a place where you don't speak the language and can't work, is going to be a huge strain on your relationship for awhile. There's a chance he won't like being your only social outlet. Personally I would not make a move like that without a commitment on his part.
I'll add a little to this as well. Is he going back to be closer to friends and family? Depending on their language skills you could end up feeling very socially isolated. I think I'd be very cautious as others have suggested. Book a vacation from work and visit first. Montreal is a lovely city, however, start with your French lessons before your vacation. As with other areas of the world, making an attempt in their language goes a long way.

Before visiting, investigate a little about jobs, although if you do any type of job that involves dealing with the public I would suspect French would be required. Although, you may find some jobs that do not require it. So, for the moment let's assume you're going to stay home. Would you be happy doing that? Don't get me wrong, basic tasks, shopping, etc. only require a rudiment of the language. Last winter I spent time in countries I spoke very little (if any) of the local language. It can be done (thank goodness for grocery store clerks who can show you the total once they realise your friendly good morning is the limit of your language).

I was out of Canada for 5 months. Sometimes in countries I didn't speak a word of the language. However, I traveled with someone from home, and the method of transport (ship) had people who spoke English (to some extent). It can at times be very isolating. The people you can have longer conversations with becomes limited. You end up making small talk, using simple words. This can become... trying at times.

Just look before you leap. Good luck with your decision.
__________________
Anne ---> Pictures, pictures, pictures

RealCdn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2008, 05:25 PM   #26
Senior Member
 
bargoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,078

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'

Default

Getting the Rosetta Stone is a great idea you can start learning French and when you do move it will be easier for you, in the meantime update your resume and start finding what kind of employment is available.I would stay where you are for now and visit a few times before actually moving.Rent some French Language movies and read some French newspapers.I have visited Montreal and loved it.
__________________
Goal 12/21/2007
bargoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2008, 11:30 AM   #27
Senior Member
 
sacha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,635

S/C/G: 163/128/125

Height: 5'5

Default

Thanks for the advice everyone. We have made the decision to move. I will be attending McGill which is one of the top universities in the country and am enrolled in my dream program (not available where I am now). The language will be difficult but I am going to study it at university during the summer and hope to get the hang of it. He had originally planned to move back before he met me however has stayed because of me.
__________________

Start: 145lbs around December 2012(*Baby born November 2012)
Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
Mini-goal 4: 125lbs
Long-term goal: 120-125lbs
Losing while nursing... slow and steady
Maintainer 2004-2009 & 2 babies & now losing from Nov 2012 - present

sacha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2008, 11:33 AM   #28
Made of Starstuff
 
Lovely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,931

Default

May everything work out for the best!!! You'll have to keep us updated.
__________________
~Made of star stuff~
Lovely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2008, 10:22 PM   #29
Maggie
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 41

S/C/G: 223/216/160

Height: 5'4"

Default

My DH is in the Army, and we move a lot. It's hard, but you meet people and you adjust. If he is the ONE, then you can do it. HOwever, there will be a lot of work on your part to learn a language, and go out and meet people and to change everything. I am the one that has to do that, my DH's job is the same, the soldiers are the same, but the spouses and towns and the schools are not. And I have to get it all taken care of.
The biggest advice I can give is to stay close to your friends at home, but make new ones in Quebec. It's very lonely to be at home by yourself all day and it's worse with a kid.
Good Luck

Maggie

PS I do have a question, but don't want to sound rude or judgemental. What about marriage? I would think some sort of long-term public commitment would be good before you gave up everything. And give up your own money. Just a thought
mags319 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2008, 03:19 PM   #30
Gettin Closer!!
 
StillTryin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Middle of NoWhere!
Posts: 1,040

S/C/G: See Signature

Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground

Default

Good Luck To You!
__________________
CW~161
GW~155 6lbs to go!!! OMG!!!!


"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous
StillTryin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:05 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2