[01determined]

Hi,
Right i need some serious advice, when my younger sister was 10 she was diagnosed with bone cancer, she was only little and had to go through the horrors of chemo, it affected everyone in the family as well as her. But after her chemo she had an operation to remove the bone and it resulted in a hip replacement. There were some complications with the operation and she ended up have 3, and she was in a full body cast for 3 months, it was done to support her leg and stop her from moving it. She is now all clear, but she has been left with a noticeable limp, she's embarrassed about this, we all know, but i thought she was just getting along with it. But recently shes been crying about it a lot and my mum found a councellor note in her bag - dont get me wrong its good shes talking to someone but i didnt realise shes this upset. So i did the unthinkable and read her diary, i did it in good will, to find out what was wrong. And there were suicidle writings, like she wouldnt kill herself but if someone tried to kill her shed gladly let them. It was horrible, and she was saying how she cries a lot in her bed at night and at school. I just dont know what to do. I've never got on well with her, shes very different to me, but i need to help somehow. I think we can put some things down to puberty, cause she is 13 and must be going through many changes, making her moods worse, but i dont want her to be suffereing this much. Sorry its such a heavy topic, i just wanted to tell someone and see whether i can do anything.

thank you. x

[aphil]

She might be going through the stage in her age bracket where kids might be picking at her for her limp-which could be causing the emotional issues as of late. Mayber her friends are starting to get interested in boys, and I don't know of ANY 13 year old boy who is mature enough to not tease and make jokes.

The first thing I would do, is maybe speak with your parents. You don't need to tell them that you read her diary, but tell them that your sister is very upset about it, and ask if they could maybe look into more therapy for her. It might be possible still for her to get some help in that area to improve her walking. It is just a thought.

Secondly, I would encourage her to continue to talk with a counselor, someone who can help her with her feelings and emotions. Be there for her as well-and spend quality time with her. Little things like watching movies and painting nails together can really mean a lot.

It sounds like you are a very caring sister...

[midwife]

Maybe you could share what you read with the school counselor privately. I also agree you should talk to your parents. Your little sister has been through a lot in her life and it sounds like professional mental health help is needed. I also like Aphil's suggestions about spending time with her. Show her how much she is loved.

[Lovely]

I have a sister who is 7 years older than me. When I was young, she was generous enough to allow me to hang out with her frequently. We'd go to the mall and she was sweet to buy me a pair of jeans or a t-shirt. We'd hang out and watch a movie. I was never a terribly popular person, but hanging out with my sister always made me feel more accepted & cooler. (Heck it still does ) She'd been there before me, and had great advice or at the very least could listen well. Although you aren't going through exactly the same challenges, your sister is facing some of the same things that you've already dealt with.

I think that one small thing you can do is to try and make some time for her. You say you don't get along well, but even my sister & I fought and annoyed the crap out of eachother. And besides, who better to complain about your parents to than a sibling? They've been there!!! Maybe you could offer to take her to a movie she wants to see. Not out of pity, but because she's your younger sister and you'd like to get to know her for who she is. I know sappy... but it's the truth. And the fact that you care enough for her to write this thread shows me that.

Along those lines I still encourage you to talk to your parents about taking her to a therapist, or at least have her keep seeing the counselor. A professional could not hurt in a situation like this.

[01determined]

im crying here, you're such lovely people. its made me so happy to talk to someone even if it is through internet. your wonderful people. I shall try these things out, thank you for being so understanding.
x