Baby Steps, Shy is absolutely right. Your DH is in his late 50's. HE is losing his pizazz, m'dear. If he has not been "grossed out" by you up to now, it's highly unlikely that he's
suddenly going to notice that you gross him out. These *big gobs* of fat that you perceive he is grasping
are more in your mind than on your body. YES, you are heavier than you used to be, but NO,
you are not digustingly obese. I think it's fairly easy to see that you have a very negative (and exaggerated) body image. I have been the same way most of my life - even went through a period of anorexia after my second daughter was born, got myself down to 120 pounds and looked like a concentration camp survivor. It was NOT attractive, and when I regained my senses, pictures of myself taken during that time grossed ME out. For me, at 5'7, 150 pounds is actually IDEAL despite whatever the medical profession or diet doctors say. At 150 pounds, I'm in a size 10 - sometimes a little smaller, depending on how the clothes are made, feeling - and looking just right. I gained weight out of "sheer comfortableness" about five years after my second marriage seven years ago. My current DH,
unlike the first, whom I divorced after 25 horrendous years, makes me feel confident about myself and happy with who I am and how I look.
Too happy - LOL - I started not paying attention to what I was eating and how much. When my clothes started feeling uncomfortably tight (even the bigger ones that I'd talked myself into buying because "they aren't making them the way they used to - too skimpy with the fabric!") I finally decided to get the weight off for ME, because
I like looking good. It really had nothing to
do with my DH (and without getting graphic here, we have a lovely sex life). AND, I'm taking my time about it. I have eighteen more pounds to lose (according to MY calculations) and I don't care if it takes me a year to do. I'll insert a pic at the bottom here, and YOU judge whether or not I'm OBESE at my current weight. I can tell you that DH certainly doesn't think so. AND, having said all of that, I really think (my opinion, only) that you might want to re-assess your goal. I'm not a medical doctor, but 120 seems awfully extreme for your height. My guess would be that 135 - 140 would probably be an excellent weight for you, Baby S. AND, finally, to eliminate the *jiggles*,
get some regular exercise. I couldn't walk too far without my leg hurting because I have bursitis in my hip socket, so I started riding a bike. A REAL bike, I mean, not a stationary exercise bike. I've been all over our neighborhood, looking at everyone's flowers, smelling the freshly mown lawns, and jerking quick to avoid sprinklers that are half-watering the street as well as the lawns <lol>. It's been great fun, and my jiggles, as a result, are fairly minimal. I'm 61, incidentally - have been through menopause and come out on the other side feeling great!
Please don't let this sit "like an elephant" between you & your DH, Baby S. Leave your DH alone over this. Don't feel like it HAS to be addressed, and you HAVE to wheedle out of him that he's turned off by you. Right now, he's probably worried about himself, and feeling every bit as insecure as you are, for different reasons. Give him a big hug and let him know that he hasn't disappointed YOU. Believe me when I tell you, THIS is
his worry - not YOUR weight. And then, if it happens again - frequently - HE needs a medical check-up.
See below. Me a month ago in front of a friend's condo in Jamestown, RI. This is me at 168 pounds. Just TEN pounds less than YOU weigh right now. I'm only a few inches taller, too, so there isn't that much difference in height. Do you see any *big gobs* of fat hanging off me? They aren't hanging off YOU, either - trust me.
Sometimes, when we're dieting - and worrying about our weight - we tend to become (temporarily, one hopes) a tad egocentric: everything is about US. This, dear BabyS., is about your DH. NOT you. By all means, continue your diet - or hopefully, your
lifestyle change when it comes to eating & exercise - but
don't relate everything that happens in your life to your being overweight. The next thing you know, you'll be swearing that the war in Iraq came about because YOU gained weight.
Good luck,
E!