3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

I must have been the meanest mom on the block!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-09-2007, 12:54 PM   #1
I wanna be a loser, too
 
cbmare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Bay Area California
Posts: 3,536

Height: vertically challenged

Default I must have been the meanest mom on the block!

The Jerk List thread has several people complaining about kids in restaurants and movies.

I have to say, I took my kids to nice restaurants from the time they were young. They had to act the same in all restaurants (Denny's on up to 2 or 3 star ones). They were not allowed to run around. They understood that they could be burned if a server was carrying a tray of hot food or drinks. They had to use their indoor voices. People at other tables should not have to hear them laughing too loudly or our conversation. They knew that not all restaurants would provide crayons and they had to sit and converse quietly when there were none. They were allowed to bring a book, not a toy with many pieces.

I also insisted on family dinner with everyone at the table. I didn't care if we weren't speaking to each other (older daughter a teen and getting into drugs), we were family and we ate together every single night. The only time 1 of them was allowed to eat from a tray in bed was when she'd received a serious back injury and sitting up was too painful.

They had a bed time. When my younger DD was a toddler, I'd let her stay up a bit longer so she would sleep later in the morning. That gave me time to get her sister off to school. As she became 4 & 5, she had to go to bed at 7. Boy is that hard when it's still light outside and other kids are playing. When they were in third grade, bedtime became 8. Then 9 as they got older.

Mandalinn's post in the Jerk List about young kids being at a 10PM movie makes me wonder about the mother. School nights were "at home" nights for us.

See, I must have been the meanest mom on the whole block!
__________________
love n kisses,


Life does not happen in a vacuum. Lifestyle changes must transcend habits and routines. - thanks midwife.

Weight loss isn't linear and the body doesn't have a timetable. - thanks Glory87.




I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
cbmare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 12:57 PM   #2
Moderating Mama
 
mandalinn82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Woodland, CA
Posts: 12,758

S/C/G: 295/191/175

Height: 5' 8"

Default

But...but...if you enforced rules, your kids wouldn't LIKE you! Horror of horrors. Didn't you know that having your teenager throw a fit and say "I hate you" when you enforce a rule is the ULTIMATELY WORST THING EVER THAT COULD HAPPEN??!?!?! (end sarcasm)

I'm just going to get heated if I keep going. Ugh.
__________________
Goal Met - 10/28/07 - My Progress Picture Collage - My Goal Story

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!

Maintained Oct 2007-Sept 2011, then got pregnant. Our baby boy was born in May, 2012...now to lose the baby weight!!
mandalinn82 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:05 PM   #3
Nicole
 
nicolen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 987

S/C/G: 261/226/140

Default

My Mum was the meanest mum on the street. TV didn't get switched on until at least an hour after we got home from school and longer than that if it was a fine day. We had a set bedtime and lights out time which were not negotiable during the week (but could be negotiated on Friday and Saturday). There were many many TV programmes that other kids watched but we weren't allowed to. We had to behave in public and eat like civilised human beings (a direct quote) or we wouldn't be going out ever again.

And yet, my sister and I have turned out really well, because of our mean Mum. Some of the other kids that we went to school with - not so well...
__________________
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

nicolen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:06 PM   #4
Gettin Closer!!
 
StillTryin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Middle of NoWhere!
Posts: 1,040

S/C/G: See Signature

Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground

Default

yeah well my 14 year old was hating me now too, because I am enforcing long standing rules. We also have dinner together, and have actual RULES!!!! She is mad because she wants to be "grown up" and have adult privlidges but she isnt an adult nor responsible enough for some of them so she isnt allowed to do quite a bit of stuff that some of her friends do, and that is just tough.
__________________
CW~161
GW~155 6lbs to go!!! OMG!!!!


"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous
StillTryin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:15 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 428

S/C/G: 207/200/135

Height: 5'8

Default

I hardly think you're mean, in fact if more mother's were as good as you, maybe kids today would be generally more polite and things.

I think a lack of decent parenting is to blame for most bad behaviour found in children. Also, I feel that some countries even facilitate young people having children way before they're ready to handle them. The UK, for instance, gives unwed mothers free housing and benefits to wazoo, so long as they leave the father's name off the birth certificate.

Good Parenting, a strong hand, boundaries and discipline are what children need to grow up into proper human beings.
__________________
One for every 10lbs lost!
Casandra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:19 PM   #6
but you can call me Sarah
 
wifey bullseye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 127

S/C/G: 165/185/135

Height: 5'2

Default

I just have to inject that I had a midnight curfew up until I got married (at age 26) because I was living in my parents' house. I couldn't have asked for better parents. I have several friends who raised their children to be polite, have manners, and know how to behave in public. I even take their children out, because I like hangin' out with them so much (geez, maybe I am ready to be a mom). But then I have other friends who I can't stand to be around at bedtime, because their 2 year old tells them what she'll do...
__________________
wifey bullseye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:20 PM   #7
Reformed Quitter
 
CABunnyGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 70

S/C/G: 302/267/155

Height: 5' 8"

Default

I tell my boys (16 & 19) that as long as their father and I have all the responsibility, we get to make all the rules.

When they pay the bills and make all the appointments required to run their lives, THEY can make the rules.

I love it when my 19-year old says, "I bet you didn't have to be home at midnight at my age" because I get to remind him that at his age I was MARRIED with all the responsibility that comes along with it. When he's 22, I'll get to tell him that at his age I was putting diapers on his butt!

Trouble with ours sons is that they want to live like we live TODAY, they have no concept of what it's like to start out with nothing and build from there...

Last edited by CABunnyGirl : 11-09-2007 at 02:06 PM.
CABunnyGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:27 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
alinnell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 9,590

S/C/G: 173/in progress/140ish

Height: 5'8"

Default

mare~you and I must be twins! I did (and still do) all of these things with my kids.

I remember taking DD to the Chart House restaurant when she was about 15 months old. I got some stares, but what was best was when a gentleman came up to us as we were leaving to compliment us on her good behavior!

We STILL eat dinner as a family (almost) every night. There are the occasional nights when DD has some music rehearsal/performance so she is absent. They think it's weird if I don't set the table with placemats and all the normal dishes/napkins/utensils. Well, maybe I think it's weird, too!

Bedtime for them is often after my own now that they're older, but when they were young, it was always earlier than their friends' bedtimes. I think I'm raising some "morning people"--I rarely have a hard time getting them going in the morning.
__________________

(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¸.•'´) ¸.•'´)
``•Allison•``
(¸.•'´(¸.•'´ `'•.¸)`' •.¸)



“A Year from Now You May Wish You Had Started Today”~Karen Lamb
alinnell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 01:42 PM   #9
Gettin Closer!!
 
StillTryin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Middle of NoWhere!
Posts: 1,040

S/C/G: See Signature

Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground

Default

Allison, OMG I loved the Charter House restaurant when I lived in Cali.......

Yes I also get perterbed when parents LET the child tell them what they will and will not do.....grrrr and my HUBBY is guilty of it also and I just cringe and ask him "who is the parent and child here???" and usually that is enough for him to straighten out what is going on.
__________________
CW~161
GW~155 6lbs to go!!! OMG!!!!


"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous
StillTryin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 03:31 PM   #10
Raised by a cup of coffee
 
modkittn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: RI
Posts: 2,760

S/C/G: 220.4/162

Height: 5'8"

Default

I have always thought the kids whose parents set rules (well.. reasonable ones!) and enforced them really appreciate their parents when they get older. My parents set rules and as we got older I don't think we ever questioned them. But they were also a little lenient. A few times, when my curfew was 10pm, I'd be at a friend's house and call because I lost track of time. They didn't care, they were just glad I called to let them know I was OK and would be home soon. Eventually I would call asking if I could stay an extra hour or so. As long as I kept in touch with them, they were happy. But I really think I respected these rules because I was taught to follow the rules when I was much younger. And I grew up to have a great relationship with my parents. They're my best friends.
__________________
Back to pre-pregnancy weight (and better)!
modkittn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 03:35 PM   #11
so close, yet so far...
 
melekalikimaka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: O'ahu, Hawaii
Posts: 3,478

S/C/G: wanna be 135

Height: 5'3"

Default

You can't be the meanest mom. I have to share a story with you. When my son was in the 1st grade, all the mothers were invited to the classroom for a small Mother's Day story presentation and party. When we entered the classroom, posted on the front bulletin board were the kids' artwork interpretation of their moms. I walked past the artwork and took a seat. A bunch of the other moms were whispering to each other, "I hope that's not my son's/daughter's work!" and laughing nervously. When I glanced over again, I could clearly see which picture they were talking about--and I knew instantly that my son had drawn it. Let me just say that the class was predominately girls and a lot of the drawings were of women with pretty hair, long eyelashes and pretty smiles. This is what my son drew: (I don't know what to say about the 2 ice cream cones ). I will treasure this picture FOREVER!!!
__________________
Noelle(Back on WW 9/24/07)









Last edited by melekalikimaka : 01-22-2008 at 06:32 PM.
melekalikimaka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 04:04 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
Rhighlan86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: WV
Posts: 451

S/C/G: 195/see ticker/145

Height: 5'7

Default

I definately don't think you were a mean mom, that's how I was raised too and I find it sad when people take their kids to restaurants and they act like they have never been anywhere before.

We had the same type of rules though, (it was my brother and myself) if we ever fought or got into anything we were either sent to a time out in our rooms (this is if we fought which we didn't do often) or put in the corner. We were allowed to sit down after school for a bit to relax, but then it was homework time at the dinner table. We behaved whenever we went anywhere because my mom would tell us if we didn't we weren't allowed to go anywhere for a week, and that killed us. On saturday's we watched sunday morning cartoons and then had to turn of the tv the rest of the afternoon to clean our rooms and read or go outside. We didn't go out on school nights, unless it was a school function and we had bedtimes until we were about 17(by that point I was going to bed earlier and earlier anyways). We also ate dinner every night at the table until my brother and mom started working, then it was a little more hectic, but we still ate together, just not at the table. I never really had a curfew it was just a rule that I was to let them know where I was going to be and that I was safe at all times. No biggie. I feel in no way with all those rules that my parents were mean, I feel that they did a great job and I feel that you did too!
__________________
~*~BECKY~*~


SW: 195 CW: 193 Ugh GW: 150

Last edited by Rhighlan86 : 11-09-2007 at 04:06 PM.
Rhighlan86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2007, 04:05 PM   #13
Gettin Closer!!
 
StillTryin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Middle of NoWhere!
Posts: 1,040

S/C/G: See Signature

Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground

Default

OMG love the art work...lol

You know "keeping in touch" is my big thing, I wouldnt be near as tough if my daughter would just "get it" I need to know where she is...
__________________
CW~161
GW~155 6lbs to go!!! OMG!!!!


"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous
StillTryin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2007, 12:07 AM   #14
Senior Member
 
drake3272004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 657

S/C/G: 238/199/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

Quote:
See, I must have been the meanest mom on the whole block!
OH no! Gotcha beat! I am the meanest, wickedest (is that even a word?) STEPMOM in the whole wide world
I have all those rules in place, among others, and because their father works so much doing road construction 8 months out of the year, I am pretty much enforcing those rules all by my lonesome! And have been since day 1 when they moved in with us. It's been an interesting few years to say the least Especially since they came from a home with practically no rules, no decent food, and were sadly neglected to the point of social services getting involved. You would think that the rules would be no big deal compared to what they had to put up with before, but the oldest still idolizes his mother and has been a big pain in the rump!
I'm terribly mean!
__________________
drake3272004 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2007, 01:40 AM   #15
I wanna be a loser, too
 
cbmare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Bay Area California
Posts: 3,536

Height: vertically challenged

Default

Oh, Jackie, I can relate. We got a foster son when he was 16. In fact, he and my younger daughter were best friends. We'd taken him hiking with us and a few other activities. We did not know how bad it was at his home. He told my DD that he was going to run away. We couldn't have that. We had her go and get him. Both these kids were in the Peer Councilling Group at their high school. They were working with kids that were in the situation he was in. He became aware right away of the house rules. I allowed him to break the first one. He never did it again. He stayed out past curfew. He never realized someone cared enough to put a curfew on him.

Another rule of mine was that homework had to be checked. My DD hated that rule. However when she saw his grades come all the way up from a 2 to a 3.9 in the first grading period after he moved in with us, she realized what we'd been doing for her all along.

However, with your situation (step mom) I can understand the frustration. One of my grandson's is still holding out hope that his dad will still want him in his life. His older brother has written "dad" off. I hope that someday my younger one will see that "dad" has a family for the convenience of saying I have one and that support is "if I feel like doing it".

Bless your heart because you have accepted the fact that when you get involved with someone with kids, it's a package deal. Headaches and all. You are to be commended.
__________________
love n kisses,


Life does not happen in a vacuum. Lifestyle changes must transcend habits and routines. - thanks midwife.

Weight loss isn't linear and the body doesn't have a timetable. - thanks Glory87.




I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
cbmare is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:53 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2