I've been in a relationship with a guy for about 9 months now. He is my first proper boyfriend, and this is the longest I have been in a relationship so I don't really know what I'm talking about. My closest friends are all with their first boyfriends still so they are not much help with my problem.
I'll give some background first. He is basically a lovely, kind guy. Naturally there are a few things that aren't so lovely (especially his temper and his slightly selfish, lazy tendencies), but that's life. We met while travelling and spent all day, every day together. I was desperately in love with him and wanted to spend all my time with him. Then we came home and real life started again. He lives about 1.5hrs away from me, so we spend time together during time off from work. Things were going pretty well, and we both thought that we could spend the rest of our lives together.
We had a big fight about a month ago (much worse than any normal fights) things were said, and ever since I haven't been sure about him anymore. I really started to think about what we are both like, and what we want from life, and I don't think we are that compatible long-term. However, I was happy to keep the relationship going because I do like him and he still loves me.
The last few days, and maybe even weeks have tested that thought. I've been studying for an important exam, and although he has tried to be understanding and supportive, he doesn't understand that my time has been focused on this rather than exclusively on him (he's never had any ambition to do anything). I really want to go back to university and so my life is going to be a lot more exams and stress, and he's shown me that he isn't great at being supportive over this sort of stuff. In fact he has got pretty sullen and difficult. I've done the best I can to still be spending time with him while balancing the work for this exam and spending time with my family, but he wants to be with me all the time.
This is my problem: I don't know if it is just the immense stress I've been under with this exam, anger with him, or something else, but since our big fight a month ago I seem to have lost my romantic feelings for him. I still love him and care about him, but these feelings are now more like the feelings I have for my friends than the "true love", romantic feelings I had before. What I really want to know is - can they come back? Once these feelings have gone, do they ever come back? Is is just the stress and the resentment over his lack of support, or have the feelings really been killed for good.
I don't know if I can stay in this relationship if I don't have romantic feelings for him, but I don't want to throw this all away if they might come back. I don't think he's the one I want to be with forever, but (up until now) we have always had a good time together. He's also my best friend as well as my boyfriend, and I don't want to hurt him any more than he's hurting right now.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!