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My first love

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Old 09-05-2007, 12:11 PM   #1
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Default My first love

Pretty please no one judge me or say things to make me feel bad about this, I just really needed to get it off of my chest and this seemed to be a safe place to do and you ladies are always making me feel better.

Well, do any of you still think about your first love's.
I do not too often but every now and then. I'm happy with my fiance and I love him with all my heart and soul, it just feels like Brandon (my first love) will always have this tiny peice of me.

I hadn't thought of him in a while and one of my old friends called and started talking about him, telling me how he was doing and all about his new girlfriend and how in love they are and. I just wanted to tell her to shut up. It was weird I didn't like hearing about him and his girl. It's like I was jealouse.
But why? I mean I wouldn't trade my man for him in a million years.
Why do I still have lingering feelings? Is it normal?

Another one of our mutual friends is going into the army so they're having a going away party for him and my fiance and I were invited and I'd really like to go say bye to my friennd but I won't go becasue I don't want Brandon to see how much weight I've gained in the 3 years it's been sinve we last saw eahother.
How pathetic is that?
Why should I care what he thinks?
But I do.
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Old 09-05-2007, 12:20 PM   #2
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I know how you feel! I've been with DH for 6 years (married for 3) and we couldn't be happier! I love him with all I am, but I am still curious about my first love (we were engaged, but the Army split us up - kinda). We did a lot of terrible things to each other while we were together and I know we never would have lasted if we had gotten married, but still, he was a HUGE part of my life. I know I wouldn't be who I am today without having experienced our relationship.

I've told DH about my curiousness and jealousy regarding my former beau, and he convinced me to contact him. We emailed back and forth for a while just discussing family, etc., etc. Now that I've done that, I at least don't feel jealous any more. I think we needed closure and forgiveness. It really helped!

I also know what you mean about not wanting him to see you since gaining. I'm exactly the same way.
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Old 09-05-2007, 01:17 PM   #3
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I can also relate. My first real love was killed in a car accident, and even though I have loved since, I really think of him a lot. I wonder "what could have been", you know stupid romantic things like that. I love my DH and my life, but you still have human nature to wonder.

Good luck to you!
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Old 09-05-2007, 01:38 PM   #4
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Whew!
I feel better knowing I'm not the onlyone, I was feeling awful for a while there.
I guess it is just being curious and wandering "what could have been".
Kim just like your cituation, we weren't good together he was an a$$ and could never have made me happy like my current love has.
I'm soooo going to come up with some sort of excuse to see him when I get to my goal weigh and rub it in his face, lol, that is immature I know but it sure would feel nice.
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Old 09-05-2007, 02:33 PM   #5
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SHy, it does feel good to do that, I did that with an ex, he was an A** and just spitefull, so when I got to my lowest 135lbs I RUBBED it in hard, and flaunted myself, he was sooooo mad that he lost me. It felt SOOO good!
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Old 09-05-2007, 02:49 PM   #6
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You go girl! lol
and I forgot to say it in my previous post but I'm truly sorry about the loss of your first love. Still to this day my heart would break if something bad happend to my first love.
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Old 09-05-2007, 03:44 PM   #7
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Just an fyi, I've been married for 20+ years. I still occasionally think about my first love. We talked a few years ago (it was high school reunion time and although we went to different schools, it would have been possible for me to go see him), and there were times that I felt just like I did way back then. Judging from where we are in our lives and the way different paths we took, we would have never made it as a couple. But, I still remember that special time with him and I'll always have a smile when I think about him. It is ok! I think it would stop being ok if I ever planned to secretly meet him and/or do something stupid. The good thing is that I'm here and he's in Massachusetts. Whew!

Anyway, that memory does not diminish what my husband and I have together, and it never will. You are not alone in how you feel!!
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Old 09-05-2007, 07:41 PM   #8
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I think most everyone wonders the "what if's" of their first real love, no matter how long ago it ended. It is how you think and act upon those thoughts that make the difference between normal and fantasy.
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Old 09-05-2007, 08:18 PM   #9
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Well thanks gals, I'll just remember what we had and the lessons I learned from it and be happy for him and his new love. I truly do want him to be as happy as I am in my relationship. Isn't it weird how you fall in love with someone and you belive with every fiber of your being that you will spend the rest of your life with that person, awww being in highschool was such an experience?
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:20 PM   #10
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You're not alone. There are actually two former men from my life that I wonder or have wondered about. I got very jealous hearing when they got married, had kids, etc... I've been with my husband for almost 8 years (married 5).

I also occasionally have dreams about both of the former guys, which just brings up bad feelings from the past. I kind of wish it would happen anymore. I guess I never got over one of those guys and I still wonder what if. Oh well - it doesn't change anything for me, at least.
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:29 PM   #11
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I'm right with ya lizzyness, I still dream of Brandon and have my own inicocent fantasies, that are annoying. I wish I could get him out of my head.
I so don't think I'm up for seeing him anytime soon, I especially don't want to feel what I know I would feel seeing him with his girlfriend.
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Old 09-06-2007, 12:04 AM   #12
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sort of similar, but not a first love...lately I've been hearing about girls from high school getting engaged and/or married...(and I'm still very single without even a possible boyfriend right now) so I started thinking back about old boyfriends or "almost" boyfriends. Anyway, I wound up calling this guy I haven't talked to in at least two years. It was the most awkward conversation! He was like "not to be rude...but why are you calling me?" hahaha....oh well. At least I now I don't have to wonder about what could have been between me and him.
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Old 09-06-2007, 02:39 AM   #13
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There's something special about your first love, isn't there?

My first love and I remained friends after we broke up, and he died rather tragically a couple of years afterwards. I've never cried so much as I did at his funeral. I think about him occasionally - more a case of wondering where he would be and what he would be doing if he was still around.

And every year on 2 March, I think about him a lot. Next year he will have been dead for longer than he ever lived...
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Old 09-06-2007, 03:41 AM   #14
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I think we all have those thoughts. It's a natural curiosity. I know i do
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Old 09-06-2007, 11:41 AM   #15
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Nicolen-I'm sorry about the loss of your first love. That's really sad.

I moved away from my first love very quicky and things just ended very suddenly so maybe I just need closure. Maybe if somehow I could see him again and we could have a chat about what we had but how it never could have worked then maybe I wouldn't wander about what could have been. My fiance would be so angry though if he ever knew I saw or talked to Brandon. I understand his feeling on it.
It makes my fiance sad that I was his first love but he wasn't mine.
I tell him all the time though that he wasn't my first love but he was my first REAL love, Brandon and I were so young and we fought more than we got along.
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