The need to reexperience pleasant experiences again and again. - rant essay
This is something most weight loss plans ignore. When I have a pleasant food experience, I'm not satisfied. I want to experience it again either right away or in a little while, usually much too soon. My body doesn't have time to burn the calories off. When I diet, I just resist that urge. I keep careful track of what I eat. I exercise more. Eventually I get sick of it and revert to the much more comfortable original mode.
When I read about people who say they're trying to smother their pain or deal with old parental abuse, I think it's a load of bs. You can sit in a dark room without eating, you can drink or do drugs. We choose to eat. We might think about old slights and beatings, but that's just normal. Everybody does that when they're brooding and I'll bet thin people brood too.
It's all an excuse to indulge in food, drugs or whatever. Parental abuse, bully abuse has nothing to do with being fat. Being fat is all about wanting to reexperience good sensations and that's why exercise, common sense and deprivation eventually fail. People get sick of exercise. They get injured or their just isn't enough time to run that many miles. Deprivation works at first because the dieter enjoys the reward of seeing the pounds come off. They want to feel that thrill again and believe that it will work forever. Eventually they hit an appropriate weight and they realize they have to eat light for the rest of their lives just to stay thin. It seems like a gyp. There's no more dramatic weight drop for a reward. It's just maintenance. It might be healthy to be slim but the drama is gone.
The reason why there's a worldwide surge in obesity is modern life. Easy availablility of food. All kinds of devices to save us from physical labor. Modern marketing that preys on weaknesses and chain restaurants that have evolved like reef lifeforms into moneymaking predators.
The only solution is to... go back to that really horrible existence when there was more starvation and restaurants served less tasty food and made you wait half an hour for your order, when you had to go inside and sit down and then go back and work in a forge or the fields. Back then they kept us alive with the promise of progress and a better, easier life. They didn't tell us we'd get fat. Even if they did, we thought that would be great. It is kind of great to be living now with computers, tv, dvd's to suck us in. It's just that it's so hard to deprive yourself of what you really want - more tacos.
I have to say, I do agree with much of what you've said. There are many "reasons" why people eat, but I think it comes down to the thing you pointed out--to have that pleasure again and again. Perhaps the pleasure offsets pain--I don't think people's reasons in that regard are totally bs--or perhaps it's just pleasure for its own sake. But whatever, we want more.
Of course, there is never enough if you're caught up in that trap.
My experience is that when I really stayed with my program, my food cravings and my desire to just keep eating went down a lot. I began to be satisfied with "normal" servings of food. Of course, there are some foods that evidently I need to limit a lot, as in, not have them around--but not so many as I used to.
I don't feel deprived eating the way I do now. I think that's important to say. I feel like I eat what I want--because what I want has changed! And, although some foods still can't be in my house, I pretty much can eat anything, as long as I plan around it. I can even have... a taco!
Yes, our fast-food culture does not help matters at all. Ads showing thin kids gobbling double cheeseburgers and fries... it's a lie! No one can do that for very long.
So, I hope that we don't have to go back to the "bad old days" of hard labor and bad food! Gee, that's so grim!
I think once you're fat, it's very easy to fall off that "satisfied with smaller portions" wagon. You might be a rare success. The general trend in society is towards more obesity even though we have sweeteners and fat with no calories and lots of knowledge and awareness. Obesity is kicking the western world's a**.
How can you tell if you're successful? You're no longer bothered by cravings and you're dead. You've reached the end of your life. Your obituary says, "He/she died thin and happy after a long life." Anything less is a prolonged diet, a potential success story. I'm thinking of Marlon Brando here. Pretty slim for a lot of years, but in the end he was fat. He'd fought it off for decades, probably for the sake of his career. His inner fat guy was finally released.
Earlier I said that the western world was losing. The east, until they started adopting our ways were successful without trying. 30 years ago, I don't think people in the east ever thought they might become fat, but today they are.
Physical work is not something normal people crave. Nobody dreams about tiny portions. The natural state of man is not adventure, it's sitting in a darkened room with familiar comforts, slightly intoxicated, munching on tasty things that never run out in a safe place where biting flies and other pests won't bother him. We need machines to do our exercise for us. We need a safe way to expel food without absorbing it's calories. Until then we are doomed.
First of all, I don't believe that anyone is "doomed". It is all about personal choices, and it is all about your personal priorities.
When someone finally sees the light, and successfully loses weight and keeps it off-it is because they have finally had the epiphany that they have to undergo a lifestyle change, and that their priorities in life have to change. Losing weight is no different than going from a poor child to growing up to be a brain surgeon or CEO. You simply come to a point in your life where you decide that you are not happy with how things are, and you vow to do whatever it takes to get you where you want to be. Your priorities change. Your goals change. The things that were once more important to you change.
There are MANY successful people who have lost a lot of weight here and have kept it off successfully, and they are not doomed to be fat later like Brando.
As with anything, it all comes down to your priorities. For these people, the donuts or tacos or whatever-while they still taste good and people still want them-don't mean as much as their improved life.
I would also like to add that many people here DO enjoy exercise-because they have found the exercise "for them". I became a professional dancer, and dance instructor, for instance. A few of the moderators here actually became personal trainers, and others run or walk 5Ks and marathons.
A large part of it is branching out, and finding the exercise that works with them, and what they enjoy doing.
okay....I am soooo depressed now...I think i'll run to kystals for some chilli cheese fries. No, No...I'm kidding!!! I do think I understand what you are saying about what do we do after all the good compliments stops coming our way...when there are no more pounds left to come off of our now thin frames? I dont' know. The last time I was overweight and lost all of the weight, it wasn't like i was really trying. I was in high school and i was the kid who was embarressed to eat in front of people. So, i skipped lunch. It was too early in the morning for me to eat so i just skipped breakfast. I would go out walking the neighborhood with my friends after my after school meal at my grandparents house, so it would be too late and i would just go to bed. I wasn't really trying to lose weight. I just did. I didn't step on a scale everyday to check my progress. It was like one day i woke up and realized i went from a size 12 to a size 3. No one ever told me how good i was looking as the 40 pounds came off of my 5'6" frame. It just was. this is the first time that i am purposely losing weight and getting compliments all the time. I don't know what i'm going to do once those stop. But i know it's not going to be start eating out everyday and putting the weight back on. I just can not see me doing that again. I know being thin isn't going to make me instantly happier in my life. It's not going to make great, wonderful things happen, but at least i will like the reflection in the mirror alot better. That will make me happy. And being more active with my kids will make me and then alot happier.
I hope you find a way to find happiness in your thin body without the constant "pleasure experience".
Did my post have anything to do with the original post?? Sometimes i get off on my own little thought train!! lol.
Okay. Everybody is all happy with not eating much and exercising lots. *suddenly realizes he is surrounded by wide eyed, smiling people with faint X marked scars in the middle of their foreheads.*
No, you're just surrounded by people who have reaped the benefits of the support this site offers and realized that living a healthy lifestyle feels so much better than ANY food could taste!
Okay. Everybody is all happy with not eating much and exercising lots. *suddenly realizes he is surrounded by wide eyed, smiling people with faint X marked scars in the middle of their foreheads.*
Oh come on now. You tell me, what's the alternative? Should I go back to my miserable and unhealthy life? Uh-uh. No thank you. I am MUCH, MUCH happier now then when I was eating "tacos" all day long, every day. I am MUCH, MUCH happier now that I exercise as opposed to being horribly inactive. I am happier now that I have clothing that I love, fitting into spaces easily, that I have taken steps to improve my health, that I am living a much fuller, richer, more productive and all around happier life.
Any "so-called" sacrifices are nothing, NOTHING in comparison to what I've gotten back. The rewards outweigh the "so-called" sacrifices by about a trillion to one.
I find the original post extremely insensitive. Many people develop eating disorders when they are very young as a coping mechanism. Eating is tied up with our emotions, so this makes sense. Those patterns tend to stay with you your entire life, so yes, many people do turn to the act of eating as a way to smother old pain, or to comfort themselves. It doesn't mean one is doomed to doing that forever. Once we realize what we're doing, then yes, we have a choice to make. I think we can see from all the above posts all of us are trying to make the right choices and are enjoying the rewards! Way to go chicks!
I think Aphil put it in a nutshell. There has to be some sort of epiphany, awakening - what ever you want to call it. Once this happens, pleasure seeking or capitalism or dislike of exersize can no longer affect you. You suddenly find that you know you can do it and you do.
My experience with epiphanies is with smoking and drinking. I know beyond doubt that this epiphany/awakening is why I no longer smoke or drink. You can say all you want about quitting smoking/drinking being easier than weight maintenance because "you still have to eat"...it really is the same thing.
This epiphany cannot be bottled and sold. It right there inside of you, if only you can access it. Wouldn't it be great if we could buy it off TV?
Greens, I think you might enjoy reading Thin for Life, by Ann Fletcher. She tells the stories of people who lost weight and kept it off. I feel inspired when I read from her books.
Also, I hear what you are saying and maybe you are right that 98% of the time this is what happens. But don't you want to be part of that 2%?
OOPS! I forgot to mention that what I say is JUST MY OPINION!
Last edited by gailr42; 08-08-2007 at 11:03 AM.
Reason: OOPS!
Greens, I don't get the reference to the "x" scars? Are you the "he"? I just assumed that you were female - only because most of us are. I wonder if perhaps you are playing "devil's advocate?" Your comments are certainly thought provoking.
I should probably take more time to think about this before I respond, but I just want to say this: I've felt the same as you many times, and I've looked around at people who ALWAYS eat healthy food and exercise constantly and I've thought they must be wackos. I was in a different place in my life then, of course. I do have pleasant experiences with food, though. I don't just eat salad greens and cut out all high fructose corn syrup and salt and all that. I couldn't do it. I think it's great for the people who can, but I love all kinds of food and I'm not cutting them out of my life for good. I can enjoy them in moderation and still lose weight. I didn't know if that was true, but in this past year I've proven to myself that it is. So...yay, right? For example, today I'm going out with my husband and having a nice meal out. I'm going to eat pretty much whatever I want and enjoy it, and my body will probably burn off a considerable amount of it since I ran 13 miles this morning. I trade things off like that, and it makes me happy.
Your idea of pleasure changes, the healthier you get. I get so much more pleasure from a good long run than I ever got from a piece of cheesecake. The good news, however, is that I can have both. I just can't eat the cheesecake every day, and I can't eat it without doing the running. Honestly, though, I wouldn't trade the feeling of being healthy and fitting into a size 8 skirt for the first time since my teen years for any pleasurable eating experience in the world.
Okay. Everybody is all happy with not eating much and exercising lots. *suddenly realizes he is surrounded by wide eyed, smiling people with faint X marked scars in the middle of their foreheads.*
No, that isn't what I was saying. I love to eat. If it were possible to eat whatever we wanted, all day long, not exercise, and stay thin and healthy-I am sure that we would all do it-but, we can't.
So, you have to choose what your priority is. Would I rather have the pleasure NOW of eating this sundae and sitting on my kiester, or would I rather stay/get slim, and get my weight off/keep my weight off?
Would I rather grow old and shrink down to 4'11" tall and end up with osteoprosis, or should I exercise?
Would I rather continue to eat badly, and end up with heart attacks, bypass surgeries, high blood pressure and meds for it, cancer, and so on and so forth-or would I rather eat better, exercise, and live a full life into my later years? (My mother works as a nurse, so seeing some of her patients REALLY motivates me!)
There are many of us who also have health issues that come into play as well-it isn't just about looking like a bikini model. I am borderline diabetic. My aunt was diabetic, and passed away at age 40 because she didn't stick with her diet and exercise plan, and keep her blood sugar levels under control.
Obesity raises health concerns for many, and those are often motivations for us.
Are we talking about an extra 20 pounds, or an extra 50, 80, 100+? What stage that you are in your weight struggles sometimes make your motivations different. Someone who needs to lose 10 pounds might just want to look and feel better. Someone trying to lose 50+ might have health issues, and a reduced quality of life that is also coming into play.
Yes, we all love food. No one is saying that we all love dieting and exercise-but it is the things that it produces, and the way that we feel healthwise-our energy levels, stamina, sleep quality, etc. that also make it much more worth it.
All I am saying is, if you choose to see the glass half empty, that is what it will be. If you continue to pick out everything negative, and say "I can't" then that is what it will be.
Everyone here has a rough day now and then, or a day that we succumb to a temptation. The key is to dust yourself off, and get back on track. We all have a glass of wine, or a bit of chocolate now and then-that is life. You just do it occasionally, with moderation, and you are okay. You have to learn the difference between moderation, and overindulgence.
Also, it is widely known that WOMEN are much more susceptible to emotional eating than men are-so, it isn't really fair to come here and say that emotional eating is a bunch of crap. It can be an addiction, just like cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and so forth-or even an addiction to gambling, or what have you.
I am not trying to get on your case...I am just saying that this is a wonderful SUPPORT site, and everyone is here to help everyone else during their good days, and their bad days-but it isn't really good to proclaim that we are all doomed to be fat. Especially since there are so many maintainers here who can prove otherwise.
The need to reexperience pleasant experiences again and again. - rant essay
Having a bad day, are we? 
And, although some foods still can't be in my house, I pretty much can eat anything, as long as I plan around it. I can even have... a taco!
