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Explain Menopause To Me Please

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Old 07-31-2007, 01:10 AM   #1
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OK ~ So this could get me in MUCHO trouble...you all know Angie checks in on me here don't you? But I am willing to get "in trouble" for the answer to my question...after all what can she "hold out" from me right?

All night long it's hot ~ cold ~

What's a guy to do?

So again I ask ladies ~

EXPLAIN MENOPAUSE TO ME ~ PLEASE
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Old 07-31-2007, 01:33 AM   #2
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My mom described it as pretty miserable - heat like waves of fire radiating through her body, with lots and lots of sweating. Yay. something to look forward to.
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Old 07-31-2007, 03:29 AM   #3
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There's two ways that I can describe it so that it may or may not make sense to you:

1. Ever eaten a hot pepper? A REALLY, REALLY hot pepper, as in burn your mouth and whole body hot pepper? Well, that's how it starts out- from the inside out.

2. Ever been in a room that was at least 120 degrees? Most people have. Well, picture that heat coming from INSIDE your body, instead of being on the outside where you feel it on your skin only, and can cool off in cold water somewhere.

I've gotten up in the middle of the night to take a cool shower, and I was in there for a couple of minutes, let me tell you. Night sweats are awful- I go through several T-shirts a night sometimes, even in the middle of winter.

When it's that time of the month, it's worse. Hot, cold, hot, cold. Poor hubby, he just covers his head up with the blankets shivering while I lay in bed with a sheet on sweating bullets. Then there's nights when he's sweating to death while I have the heat up to 85 degrees (that happens very rarely.).
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Old 07-31-2007, 03:35 AM   #4
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What's a guy to do, you ask? Be thoughtful and kind and offer to do anything which might make her life a little easier. Then be prepared for having her pissed off because you clearly think she's an emotional mess and you're treating her like a child.

I don't understand why guys have such a hard time understanding this.
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Old 07-31-2007, 04:04 AM   #5
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You're brave.. I remember when my mom went through early menopause brought on by hystercomy when I was 12 and now I'm 23 but boy do I remember that summer and it didn't help that I was "blossoming" and having problems and moodiness myself. She was only about 33 I think. My mom is a lovely woman but prone to being high strung/neurotic and kind/patient and never had yelled at me in my entire life or snapped at me in any way but that summer whew! I was on eggshells that whole summer since my mom worked for the school and she was off during the summer just like I was and we were stuck with each other every single day 24/7. I've been told often I was a very thoughtful and considerate child. It didn't help that my dad was selfish and had no patience or consideration and was too cheap to hire a housekeeper or lawn care services during the time when my mom should have been on bedrest. My mom and I still continued to do all of the household duties and the lawn care despite me trying to do it all myself. She had difficulties to say the least with her surgery and we were scared to death she had cancer of some sort and was supposed to be on bedrest for two weeks at least. But I have heard varying accounts of what menopause was like. Some women say they have no symptoms at all and then others do and they say it's **** and you just feel bad. Steelslady described the sweats perfectly like my mom went through and my mom only had a few episodes of the sweats.Hers weren't that bad from what she tells me but my mom felt really bad and depressed and irritable. You asked what you can do? You can be considerate and if she says she doesn't feel well or feels down do something you know will cheer her up, take her out to a nice dinner, take her to do something you know she usually enjoys,etc.. As for the household duties, volunteer to do some stuff around the house like cooking dinner or better yet surprise her!
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Old 07-31-2007, 08:14 AM   #6
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Hey EZ,

Sounds like you've got the idea already. Hot--Cold--Hot--Cold. That's about it. A guy can move to another bed if he can't go with the flow... Otherwise, not much to be done!

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Old 07-31-2007, 01:07 PM   #7
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Wow, so much to look forward to!

I remember when my MIL was going through menopause. My FIL threatened to divorce her! You've got to be supportive. But don't be overly supportive, either because then she'll want to bite your head off! Give her a hug and let her that any time she needs something, all she needs to do is ask. That will help.

Don't try to over analyze it. That will only get you in trouble. You can't solve this for her.

Good luck to BOTH of you!!
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Old 07-31-2007, 01:34 PM   #8
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EZ, I can't speak from personal experience, but as a comedian I saw on TV once said (I forget who), menopause means "men on pause"
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Old 07-31-2007, 01:37 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EZMONEY View Post
OK ~ So this could get me in MUCHO trouble...you all know Angie checks in on me here don't you? But I am willing to get "in trouble" for the answer to my question...after all what can she "hold out" from me right?

All night long it's hot ~ cold ~

What's a guy to do?

So again I ask ladies ~

EXPLAIN MENOPAUSE TO ME ~ PLEASE
Gary...in terms you migh best understand. It's kind of like being on a roller coaster in the dark so you cant see whats coming and the roller coaster is plunging randomly into volcanic furnace caverns and glaciers all while going up and down throwing scary monsters and WORSE fields of annoying things like mosquitos and places where you stop suddenly and get chinese water torture. You'll be panting with relief during the climbs only to find them suddenly sending the ride backwards in freefall.

BWAHAHAH I think this is a GREAT ride...6 flags should take my idea....the biggest scariest coaster of ALL TIME...THE MENOPAUSE. I crack myself up

What's a guy to do? Grin, bear it and act as though you are having the time of your life.

P.S. Did I mention there are no seatbelts or safety bars on this ride?
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Old 07-31-2007, 01:42 PM   #10
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Gary, your question wasn't bad at all . My DH said the most sexist thing I've ever heard last night. He said "I'd never vote for a woman president until she's already gone through Menopause, she might be having a bad day and push the button and put the whole world at war". I called him on this comment and he said "well, it's true". I'm sure he's referring to me being such a b--ch somedays right now due to menopause.

He complains that I wake him up when I get up and change my night clothes due to "night sweats". I also burn him up by throwing all the covers on him at night. I feel like I'm losing my mind at times. I am losing everything: car keys, my purse, my shoes, most days I can't even remember what I'm looking for . I accidentally put stuff in the wrong place. Recently I found when unloading groceries, I had put the cheese up in the cabinet and my purse in the refrigerator. LOL.

My advice, help her find the things she loses or misplaces. Keep your mouth shut and don't complain. Keep a "slim jimmy" available to unlock the car when she locks the keys in the car. (I know this firsthand). Offer to help more around the house (cause all the sweating does drain ones' energy). Put a pillow between the two of you when you sleep, so you don't wake up all wet.
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Old 07-31-2007, 06:18 PM   #11
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Gary you made me smile with this question.

I have just started having the hot flashes. I thought I was losing my mind couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Then it dawned on me.

Feeling hot, hot, hot. No fun especially in this heat. Hubs asked me the other day " Do I need to take you to the doctor ?". I then informed him what was going on.

I like comparing it to a roller coaster mind you I haven't felt cold yet. Maybe that is still to come.
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Old 07-31-2007, 11:43 PM   #12
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GARY ~ these ladies are doing a great job explaining " THE CHANGE" to you; ENNAY's description of a roller coaster really describes how you feel mentally and emotionally and physically; that's an extremely good analogy, ENNAY!

I started "THE CHANGE" at 46 y/o and like others thought I was losing my mind; my eyesight got blurried; it seemed that I suddenly lost my memory somewhere and couldn't find it again (and it was so noticeable cuz before I had an amazing memory); I couldn't concentrate on tasks that previously were simple to me; it was scary!

I was sooo HOT, HOT, HOT that I thought I was gonna self-combust (I even told a doctor that and he just sat there nodding his head up and down). That was from the inside; on the outside, I would feel chilled; and it was like a roller coaster, of being HOT;COLD;HOT;COLD;HOT over and over. And of course, the nightly night-sweats and feeling totally de-hydrated (I have to keep a bottle of cold water on my night-stand).

I have to get up to visit the ladies room more often now, and sometimes just to walk around so that I can cool off; and in the winter, I have been known to go outside on the deck in my nightie. I also have nausea and dizzy spells; and it doesn't help if you have high or low sugar or catch a flu at the same time cuz you get totally confused then.

THE GOOD NEWS is that it has gotten better over the last two years; my clarity of thought is coming back; I still get the hot flashes and sweats, but the dizzy spells and nausea are less frequent. You can get weepy and very irritable; for my DH, this was an adjustment cuz I had such an easy-going personality before and so much patience, BUT I lost that for awhile!

I would even get angry sometimes over things I would just let pass; now I have to remind myself that these things aren't the end of the world, and to choose my battles carefully; heck, I don't want to terrorize the poor man ~ LOL! I just want him to listen, not crowd me too much when I'm HOT (arms-length is good). BUT, I have to say that a little BEER (as little as 1/2 cup up to a bottle) has helped me immensely thru this time (plus a lot of ^prayers^ too); apparently, BEER has natural estrogens in it; the Egyptians knew this a long time ago.

The symptoms and their severity vary from person to person; it oftens depends on what you inherit from other women in your family. Just knowing what was happening to me made a huge difference; and when I have one of my little spells (as I call them), DH gently reminds me ~THIS WILL PASS; and, that really, really helps me. It's true ~ they only last from a few minutes up to a 1/2 hour (at the start); they get shorter as time goes on ~ yeah!!!

I found DISTRACTION one of the best ways to deal with this; keeping your mind busy really helps alot. Reading, writing, walking, going for a ride in the car (my fave), coming on the net, working, etc all help; anything that keeps your mind occupied, lessens the anxiety and possible depression (some people may need medication for a short time).

GARY ~ You are a good man ~ you can help her thru this; just be patient and understanding and helpful, when she wants it. There will be some times when she just needs some space alone; respect that. DH and my DAD and my family have all been very supportive to me during this time; and I am so grateful for that, cuz at the beginning, it was one of the most scary times of my life. I hope it isn't that bad for ANGELA!

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Old 07-31-2007, 11:53 PM   #13
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Next time you arer baking something in the oven, stand real close and open the oven door. The heat will rush out the oven and up your body, you'll feel the heat on your face and neck - that's what the hot flashes feel like.
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Old 08-01-2007, 12:39 AM   #14
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Ok, so I'm sure by now you know what PMS is like right? Ok, so just imagine 30 or 40 years of PMS all stored up and let loose at once. There ya have it...menopause.
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Old 08-01-2007, 01:09 AM   #15
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YOU GALS ARE THE GREATEST! I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO MUCH!

Seriously gals, this is going on in our lives. The BIG problem is that Angie is only 29 years old.... 47 and this has been going on a little over a year now. She thought it was PRE menopause and it would pass, IF she now KNOWS what it really is, she isn't letting me in on it.

I can remember vividly the day it all started ~ for me anyway. It was back in Janruary of '06, it was date night and we had gone to bed, after going out for mexican food and watching Ghost Whisperer, to watch one of the What Not to Wear or Home decorating shows. Of course with several cheese enchiladas, rice and beans in me plus a 6 pack of MGD's, I was feeling pretty frisky

I started snuggling up to her for a little of our I had taken my blue pill and was good to go!

Well, it went pretty much like this:

I move in for cuddle...She says "I'm hot" ~ I come back with "yes you are babe" ~ "NO, I am really hot" ~ "You are smokin' babe" ~ "NO, I mean I AM REALLY HOT" ~ "OH YES YOU ARE BABY!" at this point as I am thinkin' I am gonna ....um...get real lucky Angie JUMPS up outta bed yelling "Get the blankity blank off me! I am so "

Now, I am not the brightest bulb in the pack, but I'm not crazy either ~ I can tell that I don't know WHAT is going on, but I DO know it IS NOT FOREPLAY

I will say with all honesty that things have been "different" between us, but she has never been the B WORD to me. And in my behalf I bet she would tell you all that I have been pretty darn good about the whole thing.

Anyway THANKS SO MUCH!

I love the stories!! ~ Gary
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