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Is this tacky or is it just me?

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Old 07-15-2007, 10:14 PM   #1
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Default Is this tacky or is it just me?

In the past month I have been invited to two parties by friends (well, people who are some where in the realm between friends and aquintances). The invitation didn't say BYOB or donations excepted (we're broke 20 somethings, I get that stocking a bar for a party is expensive!) but they said they were charging $3 a drink or $10 to drink all night. The last invitation said specifically not to bring any booze for yourself or to share with the bar but to bring $10. I didn't go, because I was in silent protest. But a friend went and she said they were taking money and marking peoples hands with X's to make sure they paid. it's not the money that bothers me, it just seems ... wrong.

This isn't like a frat party or something similar. I was roommates with the hostess for two years, and we're all friends! Is this tacky? Or am I over reacting?
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Old 07-15-2007, 10:16 PM   #2
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Very tacky! I've never heard of such a thing except for college where you're expected to pitch in for the keg if you're drinking!

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Old 07-15-2007, 10:17 PM   #3
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Definately Tacky!
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Old 07-15-2007, 10:42 PM   #4
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Tacky, tacky, tacky! This isn't a party, it's a kegger... I've never been anywhere they marked my hand except a night club.
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Old 07-15-2007, 11:30 PM   #5
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This is insane. My husband and I debated about how to handle the alcohol issue at our wedding, and we decided not to have any. Aside from ours being a wedding on a very small budget, we had so many guests coming in from long distances, in and out of state, we were concerned that some guests might be tempted to drive after having had too many. Nothing would say "Happy Anniversary" every year, like commemorating the drunk driving accident that killed a relative or someone else on our wedding day.

We were afraid that some people would think not having alcohol was "tacky," but we had tons of nonalcoholic beverages available and a great buffet. We got a lot of compliments, and didn't even see anyone slip out to get drinks from the bar down the hall (We had our reception at the Knights of Columbus).
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Old 07-15-2007, 11:50 PM   #6
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Definitely tacky! I think BYOB is fine when you are on a budget, it's fun and you get in the spirit of sharing, but asking for money just doesn't seem right to me. It's not like your friend's party is some hot night club or something.
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Old 07-16-2007, 12:03 AM   #7
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BYOB is fine...

but especially tacky is the command to NOT Byob, but charge you. fundraising party? Its not even a kegger..I mean $3/drink, $10/night...that is making a profit. I drink snooty drinks and I cant drink $10 unless its expensive wine or champagne or high end scotch. I doubt this was that kind of alcohol
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Old 07-16-2007, 12:17 AM   #8
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Tacky I'm in my twenties and broke or not if your having a party your responsible for purchasing the booze. Or BYOB which I still think is tacky. You can have a great party with cheap beer and cheap wine. If your all broke anyway no one is expecting top shelf anything.
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Old 07-16-2007, 01:28 AM   #9
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You can also have a great party perfectly sober. Difference being everyone has to actually be funny & entertaining, as opposed to so drunk no one cares. Yeah, it's tacky. They're not a nightclub, they're a person. You don't charge admission to parties. Just wait, in the future their wedding invitations will have registry information printed on them, & they'll expect you to "cover your plate."

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Old 07-16-2007, 01:50 AM   #10
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I completely agree. Tacky to the end of all tackiness.

Be creative. Have a "everyone bring your favorite drink mix" party, or don't have a party at all if you're so broke you have to charge people to come to your house. Or be like us and don't have alcohol at all at parties.

I wouldn't have gone either.

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Old 07-16-2007, 02:27 AM   #11
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I vote TACKY!!!
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Old 07-16-2007, 02:38 AM   #12
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Very tacky. There's nothing wrong with BYOB, but that's definitely tacky to charge for drinks like that.

I realise that I'm in another country and that laws differ between the US and here, but under NZ law it's illegal to charge for alcohol unless you've got an alcohol licence and someone with a bar manager's certificate on premises at all time. We looked into this last year when we were setting up the social club at work...
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Old 07-16-2007, 07:45 AM   #13
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I don't drink at all, so maybe I'm not getting the whole concept entirely, but I was brought up to think that if you go to the effort of inviting others into a social situation, whether it's a party or a meal out or whatever, you pay for everyone!! And if you can't afford it, you don't plan the event. I know that sounds harsh, but the whole point for me is YOU are inviting THEM and therefore the guests shouldn't be responsible for paying for what was essentially your idea, ya know?

Otherwise it just feels like a bunch of people who happen to know each other congregating in the same place and there's something special missing from the fact that it was your idea to get them together in the first place. So, to quit waffling (mmm... waffles ), heck yes that's tacky!! Might as well go to a club where there's atmosphere

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Old 07-16-2007, 09:08 AM   #14
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TACKY TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE!! Oh, the nerve!! This makes me cringe and you are right for your feelings. The host always pays for everything or yes, the party does not go on.

I'm sure the party was held in the barn they were brought up in!!!! Good for you for not going. Encourage your friends to do the same. Next invite: send them some etiquette books...
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Old 07-16-2007, 12:53 PM   #15
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Another vote for tacky! I've never understood the BYOB concept either...if you can't afford to have a party then don't have one. To me it's like asking someone to lunch to dinner and asking them to pay. JMHO
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