how do i know when to say goodbye .. .. ..
 

i've been dating the same guy for around 3 years. We fight a lot but we love a lot. how do i know if its time for a goodbye or not . im very torn. i think about it a lot. i want to leave , but then i feel like im going to regret it and miss him so much. i've known him since i was 3 . but sometimes i think im staying out of pity and because im comfortable. but sometimes i cant get enough of him. but this thought of whether i should move on is always hanging over my head. almost everyday. what do you think:?:

when i wanted to leave a particular man that i loved but had issues with, i made a list pros all the good things
cons all the things i could not comprimise and deal with
and a third list of things that annoy me but were acceptable.

i WANTED the CONS to be longer so i had a good reason to leave.

i found that my pros list was long..... very long

i married him.

my suggestion is to make a list.... it helps clarify your thoughts.

If you think you're staying for pity, then you probably are. That's not a good reason for staying in a relationship. I was in a couple of relationships because I couldn't stand the idea of having wasted my time. HOWEVER! I did leave, because it WAS wasting my time, my life. I am now happily married for 19 years because I did NOT stay with those individuals who were not right for me. Think of it this way: If you aren't learning anything new from the relationship itself--and YOU are the one who is giving more, putting more effort and work INTO it--then what reason have you to stay? "Comfort" and "pity" are not good answers. Think about it.

If you are having doubts then maybe you two should be on a break. See what else is out there. Stop wasting your time. Maybe if you dont want to be on a break then you should introduce the idea that you need to see other people for a little while. See how you interact with other guy, hey, maybe you'll meet someone that makes you happier , if not then you will know you at least tried.

If you have been thinking these thoughts for a while, it is probably time to go your seperate ways. If these are fleating -- after an argument, etc. I agree with the list of pros and cons. You may not be meant for each other and you could be missing out on your soulmate. Maybe you are staying because you are comfortable. You might be surprised how excited you are if you do go out on your own. It's a tough decision. But, if you stay you could risk spending the rest of your life wondering. But, if you go, there is always a chance to come back if you decide it was right for you.