Since my daughter left me for "the other guy" a week ago, other than trying to take my eye out, I have been reflecting back on our years together.
My ex-wife left when my son was 8 and my daughter was 6 years old. We co-raised them, living just a couple miles apart, each having 50% time with them each week, I did see my children almost every day.
My, now 26 yr. old, son was very much into year round sports (still is) and my daughter, now almost 24, would make all the trips to practices and games with me. She was very active in scouts and dance too, but always~always her brother had a game. I was the one that, because of work schedules, took the kids to all their practices and games. My daughter and I had such a good time together watching her brother...she just loved it! The other little siblings would go off and play but she didn't want to miss a thing.
I tried hard to give her the time she required from me, under all these conditions. I was always sneaking notes into her lunch, desk at school (our church...I was always there for a meeting or service) and her notebooks. That eventually grew to notes in her car, text's and e-mails.
I was pretty much the only dad that did the girl scout camping things and activities. Many merit badges earned together. I would willingly stand for an hour 2 days a week outside of her dance lessons, looking through the big window as she practiced. Her brother and I always included her...and her dolls...into our almost daily back-yard practices.
I was fortunate to only miss 1 of her high school tennis matches in 4 years and made about 75% of her college (which was 50 miles from home) matches. Luckily for us, she attended a school that other schools would travel to for their "road trips" because of the beach/location. She always knew I supported her equally to her brother.
Anyway one of the things we did together (without her brother) was cooking ~ out of her kids cookbook. Still today, two of our favorite (at least to talk about ~ NEVER eat) dishes are ~ HOT DOG IT'S MACARONI...with of course hot dogs cut up into Kraft dinner mac and cheese...and TADPOLE IN A HOLE...which was little sausages stuck into cornmeal batter or something...the memory fades on this one...a good thing I'm thinkin'
We also did father/daughter lunches and dinners, with an occasional road trip together...even if it just meant checking on you of my jobs.
I thought maybe, if there is an interest, that it would be nice to share some of your ideas on WHAT DO YOU DO TO MAKE "EACH" CHILD FEEL SPECIAL ~ APART FROM EVERYONE ELSE?
__________________ As long as I live I will TESTIFY HIS LOVE!
I am totally jealous of your daughter. I was cheated out of those father/daughter things. My father died when I was 17 months old. he was 35 , too young to die,when I was 8 a stepfather entered my life ,I hated him, with good reason. I hope your daughter realizes what a lucky girl she is.
Sorry that you lost your father, Bargoo. I never knew my father and also had an abusive step-father enter my life when I was 8. I have a daughter and it saddens me that my daughter has had her father in her life in such an erratic manner (he stopped seeing her when she was 7 and now, 7 years later is trying to reconnect, at my prompting).
But back to the thread's topic!
I only have one child, but since I have had to be both mother and father to her, I have worked to do all the things you did, EZMONEY. Notes in lunches, taking her to each and every dance class, theater class, tae kwan do class, school event, making sure I apply for every scholarship I can to ensure she never misses out on any camp or class she wants to take.
She is so important to me and I never wanted her to have to go without, especially since she has had to go without a father and extended family all these years. I have always worked my work and school schedule around her needs and to me it has all been worth it. She's an amazing person and I can't imagine doing it any other way!
"I do feel that spiritual progress does demand at some stage that we should cease to kill our fellow creatures for the satisfaction of our bodily wants." -Gandhi
Gosh, this one makes me think. I spend so much time running with the kids to and from sports or other activities! I think a lot of our "quality" time comes from chats in the car. They don't always love it when I turn off the radio, but too bad... MY CAR, and I want to talk!!
My son, 11, is an early riser, like me. (I didn't plan to be this way, but here I am, a morning person) Sunday mornings are probably the best for us because we spend a little time watching CBS Sunday morning. We both like the stories on that show. Then, sometimes, we'll watch fishing shows together. He likes it when I come to practices with him. (at least for now he likes it)
My daughter, 13, is just not a morning person. This is how I used to be, and always thought I would be, but... Anyway, she loves to talk, so it is really easy to spend time with her. She loves shopping and will gladly tag along to the grocery store. Spending money... she's the queen! She also has a lot of practices that we go to and she likes to go to her brother's games/practices, too.
Love them both to pieces!!!
This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. - Rudimental
Well, I always let Lucky lay on my lap, since she's the oldest. She's very clingy lately, so we spend a lot of time cuddling and occasionally she will play with me. Tucker is constantly snuggling on my pillow with me. He also showers with me, though he is a chicken and never gets all the way into the shower. Instead, he chases the drops of water. Mia is all over the place but often loves to be held while I am sitting at my computer desk. She also enjoys chasing a string or a ball. Oh, wait.. you didn't mean furbabies
And I will stumble and fall. I'm learning to love. Just starting to crawl.
I'm like Soulbliss. Just had one daughter...until she turned 21, then had her brother. LOL And I was mom AND dad.
Like someone else said, we spent a lot of our time on talks in the car. I shuttled her and her friends around a lot. Used to embarrass her by singing in front of her friends. They all thought she had a cool mom anyway. LOL She and I used to MAKE our own decorations for the Christmas tree. Bows. I'd buy ribbon and we'd make bows for the tree and the presents. And we usually would wind down with Sega once she received that one Christmas. We got hooked on Super Mario Brothers. Anyone old enough to remember that? LOL Or, we'd watch the newest "Teenage Mutant Nija Turtles" video we'd gotten her, over a bowl of popcorn.
Tadpole in a hole...haha, a variation of a much-loved British meal called toad in a hole which, for the 3 1/2 years I have lived here in England, I have managed to avoid eating until a few weeks ago. My daughter learned to make it at school and wanted to share with me. We made it together so that part was fun. The meal however...
My little one, just turned 3, crawled into bed with me this morning after her Daddy got up for work. She curled into my arms and whispered "Mummy, you are my best friend." And my eldest daughter, almost 16, won't leave the house or go to bed without a good-night kiss.
Cycle 1 of NHS Choices Couch to 5k
Gary, you really are my DH's twin. Anytime I was working, my DH would cook the hotdogs and macaroni for him and the kids. LOL. I think that and cheeseburger hamburger helper were the only things he could cook. LOL.
As my son was growing up, I attended most all of his Basketball, Football and Weight lifting meets. I took him fishing a lot as he loved that. I even learned to play golf with him. (Something I was never great at).
My DD loves to skate, so before she was old enough to go with friends, I took her many, many times. We have become shopping buddies and spend endless hrs. in the mall together. We go through spells of walking around the lake path together. Our funnest time is summer time spent together, where we pack a lunch and head to the lake for the day together , lay out and tan and swim leisurely for hours. She often spends hours outside with me planting flowers and hedges as we chat along.
With my own father, he always took just me horseback riding, on trail rides and such. It was a lot of fun. We had a small horsefarm and together we boarded other peoples horses too and cared for them. I cherish these memories. He would take all 6 of us kids fishing which we loved. He taught me to barrell race in all our local rodeos. He drove the local ambulance and always made it to the rodeos even if he watched from inside the ambulance.