[LLV]

Originally Posted by Natalia

wow, I am so the same way!
I am happy with everything, except that I don't seem to be sexually attrcted to dh anymore.

Well, you know, it happens.

It's unfortunate, but it does.

Some people can revive their sex lives, some can't. And not all of us really want to.

[LLV]

Originally Posted by lizziness

one last thought from me - go back and read the thread you posted at Christmas time regarding your son and his father.

Thank you.

I found the thread. And I see your point now.



That kind of stuff still goes on, but that's another matter for another time.

But again, thanks. I think I needed to read that.

[GatorgalstuckinGA]

it sounds like to me, you need to stop being a "big chicken"..and move on. Maybe i'm not seeing the love that you feel for your SO with this post. I read every post carefully, looking for some faint vision. There are times where ppl post something out of angry/sorrow etc that makes it seem they may not love their SO...but as the posts read on...there is some light of hope. I'm sorry to sound a bit of a downer, but it troubles me to think that you are raising a child in an unhappy situation. I don't know what your situation is at home, but it worries me if there is a lot of stress and complaining. Children pick up on that and are EXTREMELY sensitive to that. So you say you can't support your son by yourself. Well here's a start. First start looking for a job (without DH knowing). Than leave. SO is the father right...there is such a thing as child support. And also, do you have family that can help? You sound like you are "stuck in a rut" too scared about moving out. But don't you think if you are THIS unhappy...maybe its for the better. Wouldn't it be better to have a happy fufilled life than living a lie with your SO. Maybe i'm misinterpreting the post wrong (and if so i'm very very sorry)...but i have yet to see a glimmer of hope in your relationship...and i don't really understand why ppl stay with those they are not happy with. Yes it may be tough at first, but in the long run it will pay off. Remember, you make your own destiny.

[GatorgalstuckinGA]

btw...went back and looked at the christmas link...and don't mean to push the issue. But do you really want your son living in that sort of situation. I don't evey remember my parents (even when they were mad at each other) EVER saying something cruel (even if SO didn't mean it). To me, it sounds like he doesn't have a good control/check on his emotions. That to me, is not an environment that a child should be raised in. Maybe its really time to start thinking about you and DS and what is the BEST for both of you. And if you decide to stay together...than please please please seek counseling ASAP. This is not good for your or DS health and mental well being.

[LLV]

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

it sounds like to me, you need to stop being a "big chicken"..and move on. Maybe i'm not seeing the love that you feel for your SO with this post.

Probably because THAT kind of love just isn't there anymore. I do care for him. But I'm not in love with him. Everything he does annoys me. And I do mean EVERYTHING. Just looking at him grates on my nerves.

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

I don't know what your situation is at home, but it worries me if there is a lot of stress and complaining.

There is. Although I do my best to keep it 'hidden' from my son. But you're so right, kids pick up on so many things we're not aware of.

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

Children pick up on that and are EXTREMELY sensitive to that. So you say you can't support your son by yourself. Well here's a start. First start looking for a job (without DH knowing).

I've considered that. In fact, I've been thinking a lot about that lately.

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

Than leave. SO is the father right...there is such a thing as child support. And also, do you have family that can help?

No. Both of my parents are dead and I don't have any siblings or other family that would help me. I'm on my own.

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

You sound like you are "stuck in a rut" too scared about moving out. But don't you think if you are THIS unhappy...maybe its for the better. Wouldn't it be better to have a happy fufilled life than living a lie with your SO.

To answer that question honestly? Yes.

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

Maybe i'm misinterpreting the post wrong (and if so i'm very very sorry)...but i have yet to see a glimmer of hope in your relationship...and i don't really understand why ppl stay with those they are not happy with. Yes it may be tough at first, but in the long run it will pay off. Remember, you make your own destiny.

Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

Originally Posted by GatorgalstuckinGA

btw...went back and looked at the christmas link...and don't mean to push the issue. But do you really want your son living in that sort of situation. I don't evey remember my parents (even when they were mad at each other) EVER saying something cruel (even if SO didn't mean it). To me, it sounds like he doesn't have a good control/check on his emotions. That to me, is not an environment that a child should be raised in. Maybe its really time to start thinking about you and DS and what is the BEST for both of you. And if you decide to stay together...than please please please seek counseling ASAP. This is not good for your or DS health and mental well being.

And I totally agree.

Thanks, hon. Your posts meant a lot to me and I needed that.

[GatorgalstuckinGA]

you are very welcome...i was hoping you didn't take it wrong. I have been know by my friends to be someone who doesn't sugar coat things. I tell ppl like it is..not meant in a mean way...but pretty much state the facts. Sometimes we all need someone to be blunt and to the point and no dance around the issue. You really need to make yourself happy...for you and your son's health. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. IT will be hard no matter what...but do what gives you your "health" back. Good luck and keep us in the know.

[lilybelle]

LLV, I think Gatorgal struck this 100% head on. We all know that staying in an unhealthy/unhappy relationship for the sake of our child is wrong.

I did mention that I divorced before when I was so unhappy and just the thought or the sight of my EX angered me. My son thanked me for leaving. He was 6 yrs. old at the time. Kids know a lot more than we think they do. Granted leaving wasn't easy. Being a single mom wasn't easy. But, I'd rather be poor and alone than have money and be unhappy.