Ok. So - my bf and i have been together for 7 months now. And he's the man of my dreams - I honestly couldn't ask for anyone better. Every day i love him more and more for just the small things he does. It's disgustingly "perfect"...lol - or at least "close to perfect" anyways.
Shoot - even the other night he said to me, "not to sound like a hokey country song - but you are "close enough to perfect for me"
I know nothing's "perfect" of course - but it's dang close. And that's just it. There's been NO drama. NO arguments (maybe tiny joking spats here and there but we laugh about whatever it is...) NO jealousy (we both have our own lives, do our own thing - yet we include each other in everything we do - we hide nothing from each other). Yes we do live together and I couldn't be happier.
I'm 27 & he's 33 and it seems that both of us have the same type of past track record - no details...but basically neither of us have ever been in a true long-term loving relationship - this is the longest relationship for the both of us. We've both done the online thing - and we've both been brutally burned by people in the past - and we both know exactly what we're looking for - and it seems to be each other. So everything IS great!
My problem?...it's just not "natural"! lol. I've really been on a self-learning kind of journey for a few years now to really figure out what it is I want in life. I graduated college - had crappy jobs / crappy boyfriends / crappy apartments, etc...and now everything is amazing! I have an absolutely fantastic career which I don't ever plan on leaving...I finally live in the part of town I've wanted to since moving to this city and exploring/figuring the city out...and I have the most wonderful boyfriend.
It's just "weird" i guess since well, in the past i HAVE been burned way too many times - there's ALWAYS been SOME kind of drama or jealousy or stupid little crap to deal with - and there's NONE of that now. And no - I'm not complainin'...lol - but I guess I'm just not USED to it yet and I'm the kind that, in the past...when things seem "too perfect" i'm always afraid that there's something around the corner waiting to explode. And I actually even spoke to my bf about this last night and he completely understands and knows what i'm talking about. That's the thing, too - in the past, I'd have NEVER had the guts to talk to him about it - but we're so open about EVERYTHING.
I guess it's just hard to really accept that I deserve all of this. Which is weird because I've always been a hard worker, very loyal, etc...and I know I TELL myself I deserve it - but there's just something in the back of my mind saying, "is this real? or will it blow up like all the others?"
Has anyone else ever gone through this?
highest weight - 2001: 220
lowest weight - 2004: 160
slowly gained weight back thx to Insulin Resistance - Weight in 2007: 197.5
current weight - April 2008: 180
goal weight: 160
~Motivation gets you started - COMMITMENT keeps you going~
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