Yeah, weird title, eh?
Last Saturday, my Hubby & I had to attend a wedding. YES - HAD TO ATTEND. It was the wedding of his boss's son. The bossman got said son a job at the company when he first got out of hi-school, & Hubby was son's supervisor. You see how this works.
So anyway... it's the FIRST truly WONDERFUL weekend of the beach season! My BEST BEST BEST BEST BESTEST FRIEND
in the whole wide world was here for the weekend. We beached Friday afternoon, a good part of Saturday, & all day Sunday. The wedding was Saturday evening.
I didn't WANT to go to this wedding at all.... but I had to stand by my man. I like to look good for my man... I didn't WANT to be all pasty white for this wedding. So I went to get one of those spray on tans that I've seen & heard so much about. I was already a little tiny bit red from being on the beach Friday afternoon. So Friday night, I got the "Mystic-Tan" spray -on.
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I tried & tried & tried to scrub it off... used lemon juice, Goo Gone, dandruff shampoo, nail polish remover... you name it! I tried it! - but NONE of it worked at all.... I was SPOTTY alllllll over. I looked like a hippy-drugged dalmatian! Tan in some places, DIRTY LOOKING in some places, PASTY WHITE in some places, & SUNBURNED PINK in some places. I swear I looked like a cross between a Picasso & a Monet! ... with all my different spotty skin colors & my pretty pastel paisley flowing skirt... oh brother....
Now... this wedding wasn't your every day ordinary sweet wedding. It was a SEVEN groomsmen & bridesmaids, a matron AND a maid of honor, two flowergirls & two ringbearers. A TRUMPET PLAYING BAND played at the wedding. 70's band played at the reception. Oh, did I mention the reception was at THE FREAK'N YACHT CLUB?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Hubby & I were seated at a table with 80 year old couples... and the CEO of the local hospital (Oh yes, we had tons in common! talked all evening! yeah right....) The spread of food was magnificent; open (free!) bar, etc. I'm telling you, the fruit platter alone cost more than my own wedding!
So there ya have it. I left my beloved beach & best friend early to go a wedding I didn't know the people & a reception where I've NEVER felt so out of place IN MY LIFE.... and I was the "horse" of many different colors.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY? Just don't try the spray on tan if you plan to GO anywhere... especially someplace where there are OTHER PEOPLE!