I amposting this here in the forum as well as in the journal section, because I would like to invite comments and discussion about the theories of passion and choice being of vast importance on the dieting venture. They seem that way for me...

I think it’s all good and well for me to take my time to decide on a course of action (I’ve got the workout activities pegged and planned now, diet plan still in perusal until Monday a.m.) but what I really question is what goes on below all that. I have been deeply looking at choices, and passion. Passion is IMHO the single biggest core issue of those of us who are overweight (but also IMHO of those who are in general unhappy).

Or perhaps I should write NOT living one’s passion. Of course, I speak only for myself here, but I am developing the theory (and one day I will prove it) that those people who have lost alot of weight and kept it off, are people who have found a connection to some passion in their life. (I would love to hear from others about this!)

On the other hand is choices. Besides the fact that I feel I have made choices that don’t necessarily support me living out my passion, on a much smaller scale choices in everyday life have been baffling me.

For example...At Wild Oats the other day. We had gone there because my son wanted sushi, but they didn’t have any, and at the same time he was raving about how hungry he was, so I quickly and randomly chose something quickly from the deli - egg salad, sure lots of protein, low in carbs, but what to put it on, a croissant. If you are exclaiming in dismay, let me tell you that it didn’t even dawn on me until - at the table next to us, a woman sat down who was in no way overweight, and when I looked at what she had bought, two giant shrimp and some veggies.

it really made me think - you know it’s ALL about choices. Why do we, why do *I* make the choices I make? I read once, long ago, that every behavior has a payoff that we want. So what is the payoff? In that same dialogue it said that the results ARE the payoff. I want to know why I want the payoff. Is it large, slow, sluggish and not wanting to move? Can I find a better, more positive way? why do I stuff myself? Is there another way to feel “full”?

I want to use this dieting experience I am embarking upon to really look through and analyze stuff like this. Maybe I should be writing this type of thing in a forum to open it up for discussion???

I really do believe it is about passion and choices. Me making the choices to live my passion fully. Me making it possible for me to live my passion fully. But here I go into tail spin, so I think I’d better sign off for tonight.

Usually the payoff we (the general overweight we) go after is the short term payoff...the rush from carbs or fat or comfort food. There is a release of hormones when you eat and we feed them. Its not the long term disasterous results all the time

There are some of us who ALSO self-sabotage who then may specifically be looking to protect ourselves in some way by remaining fat

And there is habit. Maybe it just had never occurred to you to order shrimp and veggies because that type of food isnt in your radar. When you think of food it doesnt pop into your head. The more you practice healthy eating habits the easier the healthy stuff pops out at you even under pressure.

Ahhhh, passion. I am at a point now after totally not thinking or caring what I put in my mouth for about 15 or 20 years, prior to my lifestyle change, where I am passionate, totally and completely about weightloss and healthy eating. It is a wonderful place to be. It didn't come about right away. I started my weightloss journey back in September after being miserable for the past 20 years. I knew I could no longer go on as I was. I had finally had enough. Continuing on in that way was really no longer an option for me. I completely changed my life around, cutting out all "bad" foods and adding exercise. I'm not sure where along my journey I became empassioned about it, but I am. I am obsessed with it, and this is a good thing. It will keep me from ever gaining back the 100 lbs I have just lost and it will allow me to lose the plenty more that I still need to. I truly feel that my obsession/passion is a complete blessing. It was a bonus that came to me and I really hadn't expected it. I no longer really fear any dining out experience or any social event. I know that there will ALWAYS be if not a good choice, but a BETTER choice. Don't get me wrong in the past I didn't have fear of dining out, I just ate whatever I wanted. And I always wanted something fattening and unhealthy, so that's what I ate. There was probably just a couple of months where I had the fear of going out, in the early stages of my weightloss journey, before obsession took over. I do feel safer at home, with all my healthy foods around me, but I now know there are safe choices that I can make in the outside world and that won't revert back to my old ways. Because they're just that - OLD ways.