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SAHM's = "leisurely ladies who lunch" ?

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Old 02-13-2007, 06:36 PM   #1
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Default SAHM's = "leisurely ladies who lunch" ?

I was just wondering if anyone else has run in to this. It keeps happening to me too often to be coincidence.

I quite often meet friends for lunch. I, of course, bring along my children. The places we go are in a stretch of restaurants/shops that really cater to the crowd of people who are grabbing lunch on their lunch break from work. I'd say most of the restaurants for workweek lunch that is 95% of their crowd. (But they are kid friendly, Chevy's, Old spaghetti, etc.)

So I have been noticing that if I go for lunch with my kids and a female friend (most of whom are on their lunch break) service is INCREDIBLY slow compared to if I go without kids or with dh. Orders of Magnitude slow. Like today we went to Chevy's Fresh Mex. No appetizers, no drinks, no special requests, no send backs. We ordered quickly and the meal took 1:45. Ridiculous. Everything was so freaking slow. Took forEVER to get service, took forEVER to get food, a bill, her to take the money, to get change.

This keeps happening. Lunches at places that normally take ~40 minutes taking over 90.

I am starting to really feel that they look at me and decide that we are "leisurely ladies who lunch" and not in a rush and so neglect us. Which if you have ever tried to lunch with a 3 year old and a 4 month old in tow, you know that FAST is key because a good mood is only destined to last so long.

Anyone else?
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Old 02-13-2007, 06:58 PM   #2
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Or maybe they dont think Moms tip as well?
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Old 02-13-2007, 07:09 PM   #3
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I'm a WOTHM (work outside the home mom) and I get slow service at lunch time as well. In fact, I've stopped meeting friends for lunch because it ends up taking FOREVER because so many people go out for lunch now instead of bringing food from home. If I do go out for lunch, we go late (2PM) or early (10:45AM).

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Old 02-13-2007, 07:23 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by tikanique View Post
I'm a WOTHM (work outside the home mom) and I get slow service at lunch time as well. In fact, I've stopped meeting friends for lunch because it ends up taking FOREVER because so many people go out for lunch now instead of bringing food from home. If I do go out for lunch, we go late (2PM) or early (10:45AM).

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Are you saying service is ALWAYS slow at lunch hour, or just if you have your kids?

Because for me it is ONLY slow with kids and ONLY if I am meeting other WOMEN. NEVER if I am without kids or meeting dh. (or if it is slow then, there are apologies etc.)
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Old 02-13-2007, 08:07 PM   #5
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I wouldn't know the other side of it, as I ALWAYS have lunch with my 16 mo. old in tow. But I've had a few times with a waiter/waitress I didn't know who totally ignored me. The last was at Applebees. I sat there for 15 minutes before I went looking for a manager because I'd not been waited on for a drink or anything. She waited tables around me and I could never grab her attention. The manager got her there a.s.a.p. But her tip suffered for it. Yet the ones who know me wait on me right away. They know their tip will be good and that I clean up after my son. I think perhaps many of them are used to small mom tips and large kid messes to clean. And maybe they just subconciously stall.
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Old 02-13-2007, 09:24 PM   #6
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I notice it. I just say now, "we're going to be in and out today. I'll have the Chicken Sandwich, and can you bring the bill with the food?" That way they know not to take too much time with your order and you don't have to track anyone down to get the bill. Then you can do things as quickly or as slowly as you want.
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Old 02-13-2007, 10:09 PM   #7
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I agree with Sunsera.

Perhaps the waitstaff do subconsciously (or consciously) assume you have a lot more time than "business"-looking people.

I would either say what Sunsera suggested, or perhaps something else along those lines like "Hi, we're kind of in a rush today, if I order the ____, do you think that will take too long?"

It's unfortunate that you have to make that effort, but hopefully it's a solution to the problem.
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Old 02-13-2007, 10:40 PM   #8
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My guess is there is a large bias towards the business crowd. They will generally tip well and are always in a hurry. If they know a place tends to take too long, then they won't go there. Most of my lunches are business lunches unless DH and I go out to lunch and usually a decision on where we go is how fast the service happens to be.
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Old 02-13-2007, 11:15 PM   #9
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I don't have kids - but I do think that they tend to just take forever during lunchtime.
I agree they may have a "that kid's going to make a huge mess, i'll probably get a crappy tip" attitude toward moms with kids in tow...
IMO those restaurants should be catering to families and moms more than business and singles/no kid couples - if hubby and I want a quiet meal we don't even go to those places because lots of parents are the "huge mess" kinda parents in this area... and I just don't want to have to be the one to catch the kid who is falling off the booth and almost cracking their heads on my table. Not all parents are like this of course, but I know I don't want to take the chance and they don't know which you'll be when you come in. It's not right, though. Everyone deserves good service, and should get complaints when they don't give it. Another problem I've noticed with those places is they have a bunch of teenagers working there that either don't care or have never had a job before.

I wouldn't have even considered leaving tip for the girl who left you waiting over 15 minutes!
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Old 02-14-2007, 10:28 AM   #10
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LOL I've had that discussion before. I ALWAYS leave a tip...I'm a sucker. And I have seldom left less than 10%, and just SLIGHTLY less, when the service was extremely bad. Only one time in my life did I ever not leave a tip. And another time, my ex left 9 cents and a note that said "You weren't worth a dime." I dunno, I just feel obligated to leave something. Even if the service is poort, they're STILL waiting on me...kinda. On the other hand though, if the service is extremely good, they've been known to get more than 20%. Once gave a gal $50 for a $30 dinner and had her keep the change. Course, we were feeling pretty good that night. LOL I guess in the back of my mind I'm always thinking that if I don't leave them something, they'll take it out on me next time.
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Old 02-14-2007, 10:42 AM   #11
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I will agree that some parents just don't know how to control their kids and other parents seem to have control issues with their kids as well. One of DH's and my most memorable experience was when we went to a decent Italian restaurant and there was a couple with 2 kids next to us. The father showed up a little late but the mom and the 2 kids seemed to be doing fine. Then when the father came, he started bossing the kids around. One of the kids received his meal shortly after the father arrived and the waiter asked if the kid wanted cheese on his meal, the kid said yes, the father said no, the waiter left, the kid started throwing a fit. Both of the kids seemed to be upset at dinner for various reasons and it didn't seem like a very happy meal for any of them.

We had another experience where two mothers met for lunch with their 2 boys, they decided to talk while their boys ran around everywhere and even started bullying some kids at another table while their mothers were up ordering food. The two mothers talking were oblivious to their kids bad behavior and I don't think the kids even ate because they didn't even sit at their table long enough to eat anything.

So DH and I tend to avoid places where we know there will be lots of kids. We try to go at quieter hours and places kids tend not to be. Kids scream, run around and throw tantrums with what seems to be little notice from the parents. You will also see well behaved kids as well but just one with a bad behavior can make a meal unenjoyable.
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Old 02-14-2007, 11:16 AM   #12
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I'm saying that service is always slower at lunch time. My kids are at school during lunch so when I go, I'm with my co-workers and we have on our business attire and the service is still slow. I think that the work ethic among a lot of people in this position is crappy and that may tend to influence how well the service is. When I was 16 I was HAPPY to be slinging fried chicken and biscuits for 3.35 and hour, but todays teens / young adults have a sense of "entitlement" and are quite rude and not suited to service type work.

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Old 02-14-2007, 11:45 AM   #13
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It's been so long since I've been out for lunch without my kids I really couldn't tell you. But I do think that poor service is often related to having kids with me. I've seen the look on the hostess's face when we come in (especially funny the time my cousin & I went out & had something like 10 kids between us--mine, hers, & her babysit kids). More often than not, they stick us somewhere off in a far corner of the restaurant, and I get to sit and watch my server wait on his/her other tables while more or less ignoring me.

I've read in a few server blogs and newspaper articles that moms with kids are pegged as being poor tippers. I have to wonder how much of that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. After all, if the service I get is poor then the tip I leave is going to be poor.

My best "I know it was the kid" bad server story? Way back when I went out to lunch with my daughter. There was one other table occupied in the front of the restaurant--three men on a business lunch at the booth directly across from me. I laid my baby down in my lap to nurse her (and not that it should matter, but I know I show nothingwhen I do this; I've checked in a mirror and received more than one comment on my "sleeping" baby). Waitress disappeared. Baby fell asleep, still in nursing position. Waitress stayed gone. Baby woke up, I repositioned her upright so she could see, waitress magically reappeared.

Anyone want to guess how good a tip she got?
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Old 02-14-2007, 12:06 PM   #14
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Maybe it's because I'm a SAHM eating out with another SAHM and both are babies, but I don't notice that service is slow. If anything, we slow them down. We get to gabbing and take forever to order. We end up at Applebees often, so most of the wait staff there know that we tip well and are patient with us, bringing us lots of refills.
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Old 02-14-2007, 12:20 PM   #15
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I always tip very well, and if I dont tip well I leave a note saying WHY I didnt tip well, just so there is no mistaking it.

Well, at least I am not hallucinating. I really noticed it last year when my dd was in daycare on fridays and I would go out to lunch then..the BUSIEST day of the week and get great service, but go to the same place with her and thhhhhhbbbbt.

It just ticks me off, because dd is (usually) extremely well behaved in a restaurant--she is like me she loves to eat out. Ah well, my friend has told me twice lately that I just need to get in touch with my inner b****. She says she walks into a restaurant and just one look and they know not to mess with her!
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