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Old 01-09-2007, 08:11 PM   #1
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Default Any Non-drinkers here?

I do not drink alcohol..not even occasionally...never! I have my own reasons and I am proud of it. My parents and sis dont either. But sometimes people make me feel as though I am not a young-hearted, cool person!!! I dont usually explain or justify anything, but say " no thanks " politely. So why do people keep bugging me for having a good habit? Recently DH had his friend over and they (the couple) just got to my nerves on this issue (ofcourse I did not say anything to them neither did I ask them not to drink). I was totally feeling "uncool" by the end of the day. I just need to vent here.

I know it may not sound like a big deal for those who drink in moderation, but while my work in an ER last year, MOST cases were a direct or indirect effect of alcoholism and I have seen families shatter and children ignored and people dying in accidents because of it... and most were normal people like you and me and ALL started casually and drinking on occasions only and did not know how it lead to such an advanced problem. And for those think their kids should get to enjoy finally when they reach "the age" should think twice and look at the parents who have lost their children to DUI! How can it be cool ever? It just messes up your cognition and loss of inhibition with even small amounts leads to promiscuity and what not...

There is even a study that shows genetic predisposition to getting addicted to alcohol being more in some people compared to others and obviously we never know of it...until we are the sufferers ourselves.

And for those who argue that red wine is good for heart...should update themselves as studies have shown that the harmful effect of alcohol on liver even in minor amounts far outweighs the benefits on heart. Also, the high sugar amount in alcohol is worth being considered.

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Old 01-09-2007, 08:22 PM   #2
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I have quit drinking to lose weight, and man I was surprised at how quickly I lost my friends. Even after I told them that I quit drinking, they were still calling to invite me out to the bars. Now they've pretty much stopped talking to me. They all have kids and whenever they go out, they want to drink. Now, I do know that I could go out with them and not drink, but that's not any fun for me. I like to drink. I just choose not to right now.

I understand what you're going through. But you just need to stick to your guns and not let them bother you. They shouldn't be bothering you about it. If it really does bother you, just say somthing about it nicely. They should get the hint and lay off after that.

I do think that wine is good for the heart. I understand that it can damage the liver, but I think that anything in moderation is ok.
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Old 01-09-2007, 09:09 PM   #3
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I am pretty close to being a non-drinker. I have one drink maybe once or twice a year -- at New Year's Eve it's just customary for me to have champagne, and then I may have a drink at a wedding or something.

I don't like the taste of alcohol, and it mostly just gives me a headache. If the drink is tasty, it's usually even better tasting without the alcohol, IMO. When I'm budgeting calories, I'd rather use them on food. And while I don't disapprove of moderate drinking handled responsibly, I don't enjoy being around people after they've had a few drinks.

You're right that there's a genetic pre-disposition to alcoholism for some people, but I believe that it can be tested for. The vast majority of people who drink are not alcoholics.

The mild relaxation of inhibitions is a social lubricant, allowing people to get over their self-consciousness and criticalness and just enjoy each other. It does not automatically lead to promiscuity, even when a person gets flat-out drunk.

I sympathize with the horrible things you must have seen in the ER. I've worked in hospitals myself and have seen the waste of life that drunk driving and alcoholism can cause.

And it's a shame that your company made you feel uncool for not drinking. It's your choice. Some people just can't see the other point of view. You might have a talk with one of them before they're invited over again. Make sure they know you expect them to respect your decision. If they can't manage that, then they should not be welcome in your home.
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Old 01-10-2007, 07:52 AM   #4
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I don't drink. It is a choice I made after realizing my now ex-husband was an alcoholic and seeing other family members battle alcohol. It has been over 15 years since I have drank and I am proud of that.

Willmakeit: Keep up the good work- don't ever let anyone look down on you for not drinking. Not only you but everyone in your family benefits from your choice not to drink
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Old 01-10-2007, 08:15 AM   #5
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I am 40 years old, the daughter of two alcoholics who actually owned a bar. It was my job to clean the bar. After seeing old cigarettes floating in stale beer for years on end, I made a choice to never drink or smoke. I can count only 3 times when I drank and that was when I was a teenager. I also have never even tried smoking. For those who say to me that red wine is good for your heart, I simply say "So are red grapes, grape juice, chocolate and nuts."
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Old 01-10-2007, 09:00 AM   #6
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I'm a non-drinker, too and I just tell people . . . "I'm a social drinker but I'm just not very sociable". If that line doesn't shut them up, next comes . . . "I won't preach to you and I'd appreciate it if you don't preach to me." Usually nobody gets insulted (maybe because they are too drunk to remember what I said). Stick to your principles, kiddo.
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Old 01-10-2007, 10:32 AM   #7
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When I was in college and shortly after, I would get drunk every once in a while. I enjoyed drinking, mostly because it was a very social event for me. Anyway, shortly after college, I just didn't want to drink any more so I didn't. The first few family events were difficult. I had cousins harrassing me for not drinking. I told them that I just didn't feel like it. Now its no big deal. I will drink once in a while but not enough to get drunk, which basically means 1 drink these days.

My DH is basically the same way in that he doesn't drink and if he does, it is once in a while and not enough to get drunk. He was never someone who drank to get drunk though.

Anyway, I'll have maybe 1 drink a year, same for DH and DH usually says he'll pass if he doesn't feel like having a drink and I will usually say I don't feel like it. If someone doesn't understand, then that is there problem.
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Old 01-10-2007, 10:54 AM   #8
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I'm a non-drinker. And VERY proud of that. Most of the people in my family are alcoholics and all my uncles on my mom's side died of alcoholism. Nobody in my immediate family drinks.

We have a lot of company functions that involve alcohol and I'm always told that "I'm no fun". If being drunk makes you fun...I'd rather stay sober. But I know how it can be..to feel excluded, uncool, unhip. Everyone's sipping the latest martini, and I've got club soda. But what makes me feel good is..I'm not the one apologizing for my behaviour the next day.
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:10 AM   #9
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Another non-drinker over here

I made it all through the second part of 6th form and Uni not drinking. I had a good friend who drowned his sorrows in A LOT of drink and I drank a fair bit to keep him company, but after I started learning to drive, I'd rather drive than drink. I went clubbing for 2 years without drinking and no-body gave me any flack for it, I was always loud and lairy anyway, so imagine what drink would've done!

I also saw my mother drink on anti-depressants, not a pretty sight at all! How embarrassing! That put me off a fair bit.

Then between 6th form and Uni a very good friend of the family drove 15 miles across the moors after drinking a bottle of whisky and several beers. He passed out at the wheel and ploughed himself and his brother into a tree. Unfortunately he didn't make it but his brother was relatively unharmed.

Anyone who's narrow minded enough to try and change your opinions isn't worth partying with
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Old 01-10-2007, 12:13 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by willmakeit View Post
And for those who argue that red wine is good for heart...should update themselves as studies have shown that the harmful effect of alcohol on liver even in minor amounts far outweighs the benefits on heart. Also, the high sugar amount in alcohol is worth being considered.
i'm a drinker (about 3/week), but I don't try to justify it for health reasons (as this MSNBC article shows, the science of benefit-risk and even how much to drink before the risks outweights benefits, is fuzzy: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16384904/ ), I would *like* to think that it conveys some benefits, but am not slamming down vino and shots like a madman to be living proof (heck, even just living will be debatable if I did that.)

I totally respect the decisions of non-drinkers to say 'no' ~ nor would I put them in situations where they would be surrounded for alcohol.

Fortunately, I have a passion for just home cooking & dining out in general, so my dry friends and I can share at least in a love for food, if not the wine.
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Old 01-10-2007, 12:15 PM   #11
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When in high school a bunch of us cut class and spent the day hanging out by some guys house. I literally had one drink and was passed out for most of the day. I am soooo lucky that I didn't die and that I wasn't raped or molested. I've told this story to my kids many times to try to warn them about the affects of alcohol. I tell them if it could happen to me, it could happen to them. And I always play it up and make it sound so much more dramatic and so far it has worked. I have a 19 year old and a 17 year old, 15 too, but she hasn't been exposed to it yet. But my older ones have already had to deal with their friends, I should say their classmates, not necessarily their friends, and alcohol. It is really sad. I'm sure eventually they will cave in out of curiosity if nothing else, but I keep talking to them about it, I just want to hold it off for as long as possible.

For years after that incident I didn't have another drink. When I started dating my hubby, I remember going out and having a drink or 2 and getting so, so drunk and puking all over the place. Alcohol is not for me. It doesn't agree with me. I get so affected by the tiniest amount of alcohol and I don't like the out of control feeling I get from it.

Except for a few sips of wine a few times a year and it is always social - I am most definitely a non-drinker.
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Old 01-10-2007, 09:59 PM   #12
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I will have A drink occasionally.. but I do not drink as a general rule. Don't like how I feel when I have alcohol in my system. People don't seem to understand... I tell them I got all my partying out of my system in high school and now I'm done. Some people do not get it and do not want to take no for an answer. One girl actually invited me to hang out, then decided it 'd be a girls night out and took me out and proceeded to get trashed. I was so annoyed. I don't drive, so I couldn't just go home. I had to call my hubby and have him come find me downtown. Sigh. I am too old for that kinda crap.

I think people don't tend to pressure you because they don't want to face the fact that what they are doing is unhealthy and potentially dangerous and by them turning it into "wow you're weird you don't drink" they don't have to think about themselves.
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Old 01-10-2007, 10:11 PM   #13
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I made a very conscious decision when I was younger never ever to touch the stuff. I watched both of my brothers put my mom through a really hard time with their drinking and I remember lying awake at night waiting for my big brother to come home and wondering if he would make it home.

In any case, I don't fault people who do drink. I have friends that drink. I went to a bar with them once to see his band play with a bunch of our friends and it was soooo awkward. They keep telling me that I am so funny and that I would be even funnier drunk. I keep telling them that I would be the no self-esteem crying in my beer type of drunk. Not exactly my idea of fun. Anyway, here's to us. You're not alone here. You're not the only one.
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:03 PM   #14
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Well I do drink very seldomly....3 times a year at best. Only because of social occasions (like New Year's), and then it has to be extremely watered. I just can't stand the taste of alcohol. I'm the same with coffee...can't stand the taste OR smell of that garbage. So the younger crowd used to think me weird, now the older crowd does...because I won't drink coffee. LOL My response is to just make a sour face and tell them they could have mine and just leave it at that. If you really feel you need to shut them up, tell them that alcohol has an adverse reaction on you and that if they think you're uncool now, wait til you've had a few.

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Old 01-10-2007, 11:13 PM   #15
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Another non-drinker over here.

I drank very rarely when I was 21 and 22, but one bad experience when I was 22 (1993) and I swore I would never drink again. And I haven't even taken a sip since that night. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, but my one vice is food- and it shows. :-(

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