I feel bad about corrupting this one. It's so sweet! Granted, but the wedding is in Japan and you can't find an airline or a cruise line company to get you there in time!

I wish I had a concert grand piano all to myself.

Granted, it falls on you looney-tunes style.

I wish all my packing and moving was done!

Granted, but the moving company took your stuff to the wrong place!

I wish I was really good at chess.

But then you develop arthritis, making it difficult to play.

(no pain, no gain :P)

If I had a hammer...

Granted, but it's made of porcelain.

I wish my new shoes were already broken in.

Granted, but you can never take em' off ;-)
I wish I had a ginger cat, like Garfield

Granted, but it's a taxidermied cat. (too dark?)

I wish I never have to wash dishes again.

Granted, but the new dishwasher is some creepy guy who moves into your house, sleeps on your couch, and smells like cheese....

I wish to win the lottery!

Granted, but you lose the ticket before you can claim the prize

I wish my Christmas shopping was done

Granted! But the gifts are all wrong! Wrong size, color, style, game, etc.

I wish I could say what I wanted & not loose my job!

Granted. Now you are the boss, and because of what you say, all your employees quit.

I wish I had a closet for my clothes.

Granted! But it has a monster in it & it likes to grab you & tickle you so badly that you can't breathe!

I wish I could meet & have dinner at a table surrounded by my favorite actors & actresses!

Granted! But they all talk nonstop about themselves and end up in a fight about who is the most talented.

I wish it were spring.

Granted! But now your hayfever is soooo bad, you can't enjoy a moment of it!

I wish I owned a home, free & clear, over-looking the ocean.

Granted, but the ocean is too cold to swim in so you have to mortgage the house to build a swimming pool.

I wish I could move to Greece.