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Featherweights For those with just a few pounds, or trying to lose those last few pounds.

Support for the Slightly Chunky

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Old 12-23-2013, 06:00 PM   #1
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Question Support for the Slightly Chunky

I have 15 pounds to lose, and plan on seriously addressing it in the new year. One problem I've found is that it's very difficult to get support. There are so many quite overweight or obese people around that they tend to think I'm already thin enough. If I tried to go to a weight loss support meeting, they would look at me like I was trying to be anorexic or insulting them. Trust me - this is not true. I'm not obese, but I definitely have 15 pounds to lose to look and feel my best. I feel chunky, and my clothes don't fit in a way that makes me feel attractive.

I need support for accountability, advice, and to keep my motivation up. How do you find support? Is online support enough? How do you use these forums best to help you?
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:15 PM   #2
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Welcome! Online support has been enough for me, in addition to support from my hubby at home. I suggest you join the featherweights chat thread that is always going. I haven't been on in awhile, but that would be a great way to meet a group of people with needs similar to you. There are also age-based forums and forums based on certain weight ranges. I just saw a featherweights forum on getting out of the 140's that might be perfect for you. You'll find your way around here soon enough.
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Old 12-24-2013, 12:49 AM   #3
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I plan to hang with the featherweights at 3fc once I get close to my goal. I will ALWAYS need support, whether I am 170 (as I am now) or 115 (my goal). It's when I walk away from my support that I get into trouble. So, we will all support you! And later, when WE are featherweights, YOU will support us. Right?

Welcome!
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Old 12-24-2013, 11:35 AM   #4
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I too am a secret dieter in the workplace for this very reason! That awkward state of being "too featherweight" to fit in with the diet-crowd of the workplace but not "goal"/outside-of-workplace-thin.
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Old 12-24-2013, 09:43 PM   #5
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It is always (at least for me) to find people to support us feather weights. Everyone things you look FINE at your heavier weight.....a lot steams from it changes realastionship we people IE their jealousy,or if you think you are overweight you think they are to they think you are to thin because they are use to seeing you heavier.
Many people do not realize even if they are overweight by a lot ,to us being overweight mentally can be the same to us. I have read several autobiographys
Of people 150 to 200 lbs overweight have the same feelings as myself
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Old 12-31-2013, 01:12 AM   #6
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I have always found a lot of support on the featherweights page, but also on many of the other pages- everyone here is SUPER understanding and I rarely see anything but "positive energy" on this site. I'm facing some regain but am happy to help encourage you or whatever you need as much as possible- I think that's one of the toughest things about being a featherweight--- it's so easy to think "oh I don't NEED to lose weight", so it's easy to put it off or let things slide , when really- the last 10 pounds can be the hardest to lose!!

Good luck
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Old 01-02-2014, 01:46 PM   #7
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Yes, the Featherweights forum is for support with exactly what you describe! I personally am very glad this section of 3fc exists. I go in and out of hanging out here though, as I have some issues that come up when I focus on a scale number ... but that's just me.

I have never weighed over the (arbitrary) number that defines "overweight" so yeah, it's hard to get much sympathy from people who have much more weight to lose. But OMG struggling for FIVE years now to lose "just a few pounds" is very frustrating. (I am dealing with hormonal changes apparently that have changed my metabolism completely...). NONE of my clothes fit after gaining 15 lbs. If I get brave enough I want to post photos of me over an 11-pound range (149, 143 and 138 lbs). The difference is SHOCKING, how much 11 pounds can change your entire physique.

Beyond "vanity" reasons, the fact remains that even when someone is not technically overweight, they can be overFAT (me), extremely out of shape cardiovascularly and strength-wise (me) AND with a waist measurement that puts them in the danger zone (me). But anyway, everyone benefits from being vigilant about optimizing their diet and exercise, regardless of their weight.

So yes, come hang out in the Featherweights section! People here totally understand where you're coming from.

In real life, if the topic of weight loss comes up, just focus on aspects of being HEALTHY. Even "skinny" people need to think about being healthy
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:50 PM   #8
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I came here looking for a thread on this exact topic.

My ex said he's worried I'll become anorexic. And yet I'm sitting here eating half a wrap and chili. He's more concerned for me than he is his morbidly obese friends but they're in far more danger than I am. It's like it's "healthier" to be morbidly obese and unconcerned than it is to have weight loss goals...the goal in and of itself causes a wave of shock to run through everyone.

My bf's family thinks I'm fine and have asked where I'd like to lose the weight from. When I tell them, they say I'm fine as is. They're nice though, I really like them, but I disagree that carrying this weight around is a good thing.

My manager did the same thing. She laughed and asked where I would lose the weight. When I said my stomach primarily she just asked, "Well what are you going to do." "Go to the gym."

Additionally, my parents thought I was fine at 140 - pushing overweight! They've adjusted and learned to accept my goal but it was a struggle.

The only person who gets it is my boyfriend.
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Old 01-11-2014, 07:24 AM   #9
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I'm with you guys on this: there's way too much judgement flying around when you've only got a little weight to lose, especially among friends and family, unfortunately. I have found 3FC totally supportive so far, but only just found this particular group which is perfect for me!

I find my husband and friends are supportive until they see my diet as inconveniencing them, i.e. when I turn down a glass of wine or a meal out. It's been especially tricky over the past few weeks as my progress has stalled and I've stayed the same weight for ages :-|
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Old 01-18-2014, 07:13 PM   #10
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Since losing weight is so personal for me, I just find support online. I have so many thin friends who eat like garbage cans and never have to worry about their weight that it would be ridiculous for me to try and share my fitness goals with them. And so many people keep telling me that I shouldn't lose too much weight, that I should eat what I want, etc and these are people who have never had a weight problem or a health problem in their life. I am technically overweight and it's not good for me to continue to be sedentary, so I stick to online support.
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