New/returning Feather here...
Just wanted to introduce myself again a bit. It's also fun to come back later and update how I've been doing!
I'm 24, 5'6.5"-ish, weigh low 130's. I was frequenting this site back about a year ago. Made a lot of friends and had a lot of weightloss success, but was also unfortunately a little crazy, haha. I was pretty eating disordered, really since high school, struggling with binge eating but mainly (I know now) because I was so ****-bent on being super skinny and was trying to subsist on insanely little food. I was obsessed with working out and eating clean and did a lot of meal skipping and starving. I finally did get to my goal ideal size and weight ( 110 pounds and a jeans size 23!), but it was very unsustainable. It was also the catalyst I needed to finally realize how disordered I was and that I needed to make some real changes.
So, I've spent about half a year being kinda reborn in terms of how I think about eating and my body. Spent a lot of time eating everything and anything, doing no exercise, and not worrying about it, and being amazed at how I no longer craved buckets of ice cream, felt okay about my body even well fed, and did not in fact gain weight forever. Threw out all the rules and realized that the world did not end and life was actually still great. Avoiding carbs, turning down dessert, exercising every single day, and doing whatever possible just to see lower numbers on the scale was actually just not worth it!
So that's all great! But now I'm ready to just make some smalllll little adjustments for the sake of being and feeling healthy and maybe getting a bit smaller. Nothing drastic, nothing restrictive, nothing that makes me ever feel like I need to binge eat again physically or mentally. Just little easy choices.
My sort of "plan:"
- When I'm alone for lunch or when my husband doesn't want breakfast, and I'm not super excited about eating anything in particular, replace meals with a good protein shake.
- No snacking, unless with other people or unless I'm actually hungry.
- Only one drink a day unless we go out and/or someone else is buying!
- Never ignoring hunger or depriving myself if I truly do want to eat something, and no rules about types of food that I can/should eat/drink or calories or whatever.
- In general, just being a little bit deliberately conscious of how full I'm getting and eating an amount that won't leave me feeling badly overfull afterwards.
I'm tracking my weight mostly out of curiosity. I know that I look my best (I think personally) about 10-15 pounds lighter than I am now, but I also have no problem with just doing my best to accept the size I am now. True, it would make clothes shopping a little easier here in Japan....But then again, like the size of my feet (also way too big to buy shoes here almost anywhere), my bone structure isn't going to change, so I can deal with that. If I weigh 110 pounds again while still eating happily and mostly unrestricted-ly, obviously that's great, but if not, that's going to have to be okay too. It's easier and happier to accept my body as it is than it is to go to drastic measures to change it.
That's my story, and I hope to stick around here a while again. (:
Last edited by Mottainaii; 10-10-2013 at 11:56 PM.
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