[kindred]

I have been a member since 2006 although I have not posted a whole lot. I was reading through some of my much older posts and realized how much I have changed....as well as how my weight has gone up and down through the years. I thought I would share a little of my story and would love if you responded with yours as well.

Age 16: 5'9" 135 pounds (smooth flat stomach!)...until I got pregnant. I went to around 198 pregnant got all my stretch marks to prove that

age 17: after baby got down to 127 in about 6 months using body for life program and dealing with stress from the relationship I was in

age 18 got married and pregnant with baby #2...determined not to gain as much weight. I was better with eating and did a workout video with denise austin in it (she was pregnant as well) got to 180's pregnant.

age 19: had baby and weighed something in the 160's post baby.
later that year....got down to 140's by joining a gym and being good with food. We were pretty poor so there wasn't much going out to eat during this time lol
age 20-21: yoyo'd between 140-160 lots of moving and stress within the family (I almost lost my husband at that time due to emergency brain surgery)
age 21-23: used turbo jam and began jogging to get myself down to the 140's
age 23-24: moved to texas, bought a house, went to college (alot of homework and eating bad things!) got up to 158
age 25 took a p.e. class at my college in running. Started a love for running (love/hate really got down to 138 and was happy with my body and fitness ability. started doing spin class as well.
age 26: went through the most difficult time of my life...divorce. Up to 166
age 27: in a new relationship with someone who loves me the way that I am but still in the 160's and tired all the time. Not running or working out and eating unhealthy things
2012: started running again and realized how much i missed that love/hate relationship! Became engaged and my fiance wanted to do 5k's with me (even though he hates running) bought insanity program in february and got down to 152 (where I am currently!)

I was just sitting here thinking about what a journey I have been on in my life so far. Not just with my weight and body image but also with relationships, life stress and how that plays apart in everything. I have been through some hard times but was still able to somehow get through it and push myself to do better. I would love to say that this is the "last" time I will let myself go and the last time I will shove unhealthy things in my mouth but looking at my past it's pretty likely that I will be here again...at some point. I have confidence though, that I always find the motivation after the tough times to do more for myself. Not because being "skinny" makes me happy but because being in charge....feeling healthy and energized makes me happy! Eating well and working out has helped me deal with hard times and depression more then anything else has. It is my "medicine".

Healthy living, weight loss/maintance is a lifelong struggle and I would love to hear stories from others.

[Thighs Be Gone]

I was a chubby kid and then became thin about age 16. I was thin until I was about 22--when I got married. I started putting on. And putting on. AND PUTTING ON. Work stress, marital stress, lack of self-esteem, lack of knowledge, baby one, baby two, etc. At age 37 I decided to start doing things differently.

[Ash15+]

I think my highest is around 155lbs... gulp. That was about 2 years ago I think.
I have crohn's disease so I have bouces around a bit but since I was a kid I was just never small but also never really big. I've always just had an extra layer on me that has made me uncomfortable and self conscious.

[banananutmuffin]

Skinny (102-104 lb range) until post-college. Met Hubby, started eating out and man-sized portions, weighed 108 when I got married. Not huge by any means, but a little more than I should carry on my 5'0" frame.

Had kids. Ballooned up each time. After second kid and most of the easy "post baby" flab gone, I weighed in at 117. Way too much for my frame. Was diagnosed pre-diabetic with majorly high cholesterol.

Now, I'm almost 38 yrs old. I am FINALLY getting it together, although probably not in the most healthful way (severe calorie restriction most days, with one or two bigger calorie days). Last time I weighed I was 106 lbs, which is getting close to my target.

[lifehouseluver]

i like hearing what other people's stories are. Makes me feel like my love/hate relationship with food isn't as unordinary as I think.

age kid to pre-teen: ballet dancer and swimmer my whole life. definitely had more of a swimmers build naturally

age 14: had to choose between ballet and swimming because both were going to be 5x per week. although I had the natural frame (and probably talent) for swimming, chose ballet because I loved it more.

age 15: 136 lbs which was "too big" for a ballet dancer. That's when I did weight watchers for the first time. Got myself down to 112-115 lbs which was where I stayed through the rest of high school.

age 16-18: 112-115 lbs

age 18: stopped pre-professional ballet track. gained about 10 lbs before going to college simply because I stopped training for 4 hours a day and I ate out with my friends a lot more. Put me at 125 entering my freshman year

age 18-19: fell in love and had a serious relationship for the first time in my life. had my heart ripped out late in the first semester... gained 15 lbs my freshman year. put me up to 140 lbs.

age 20: had my second and 3rd serious relationships. had my heart ripped out 2 more times. 10 more lbs, bringing me up to 150 lbs.

age 21: no relationships. focused on me, but at this point just had horrible eating and drinking habits. highest I saw on the scale was 158.6, but then I stopped going on because I couldn't handle seeing 160. I know I gained at least 5-7 more lbs, but again didn't want to know.

age 22: graduated college and moved home. Had an amazing a bf that happened to be super healthy. got back down to 155 lbs just by not necessarily dieting, but just being more active and healthier.

age 23 (now): in January 2012, I was like "I'm getting my body back!" I started at 152 lbs on January 9, and these days I fluctuate between 138-139.5. Although I do not want to get down to 115, I do want to at least get back down to 125. We'll see if I have that willpower!

[krampus]

Age 13-16: Chubby/fat. Fluctuated between 150-167 lbs or thereabouts. Eternally single with no confidence to ask out crushes, but good/stable friendships.

Age 16: Crazy teen angst, fell madly in love, obsessively, with a boy I knew. Deep depression after he rejected me. Friends were all in a bad way too, cutting themselves and threatening suicide etc. Lost appetite and cried all the time and lost about 30 pounds between January and May.

Age 16-17: Grew into my smaller body and became more aware of having lost weight. Boy changed his mind and asked me out. Went to 3 proms. Weight fluctuated from 135 in the summer to over 140 in winter. Consciously tried to diet and got down to 128 by high school graduation.

Age 17-18: Freshman 10 - dated a x-country runner and ate as much as he did but didn't ever run or exercise. Birth control pill for the first time. Finished freshman year at ~ 140 lbs. Summer desk job with great bagels --> gained 5 lbs over the summer.

Age 18-19: Lost the summer 5 lbs and went through a brief obsession with the gym. Lost 5-10 lbs and felt good - ended sophomore year around 132-134 lbs. Same summer job --> gained 5 lbs again!

Age 19-20: Met great boy and fell in love. I weighed 137 when I met him. We ate and ate and went on vacation and had a candy bowl in our hotel room - by the end of the first couple months I gained 5 lbs. I accidentally got pregnant and gained 5 more lbs in 3 weeks. Didn't lose that weight after abortion and probably gained more because I was 150 by the summer.

Age 20-23: Enjoyed life and had a great time graduating college and moving to Japan to teach English. Weight was of little concern - during this time I fluctuated between 150-156. Felt huge after a BBQ in spring 2010 and weighed myself - the scale said almost 160. BREAKING POINT.

Age 23-24: Changed eating habits gradually and began running. By summer 2010 I had lost about 15 lbs. Put on 5 during a summer vacation but got right back to losing. Dieted somewhat severely and did cardio every day. On my birthday, Christmas Eve 2010, my scale said I weighed 56.1 kg, or 123.5 lbs. That was my lowest weight ever.

Age 24-25: Struggled with binging/restricting and regained all the way up to 140+ on my most bloated days, but stayed typically between 130-135 lbs. Moved from Japan back to America and struggled with job hunting and broke up with the boyfriend from age 19. The last time I ate my feelings/binged emotionally was after breaking up with him in September. Gained a few pounds from eating too much. Started dating someone new who used to be fat and is aware of it but also loves to cook and eat.

Age 25 (now): Got a scale for my birthday and stepped on it. Realized 139 is not what I should weigh, and my whole life should be the "after" picture. Ate better and immediately dropped a few lbs. Didn't up my activity until the past couple of months. Moved out of my parents' house and got a steady job and am generally satisfied with my life - I think that stability is reflected on the scale, and the extra pounds are just "I like to eat" pounds.

[guichita]

Krampus, for some reason I was really moved by your story. Thank you for sharing it.

[lifehouseluver]

Originally Posted by krampus

Moved out of my parents' house and got a steady job and am generally satisfied with my life - I think that stability is reflected on the scale, and the extra pounds are just "I like to eat" pounds.

That's exactly how I feel! I love my parents, and I'm very grateful that they helped me out when I first graduated college so I could save some money, but I always ate whatever was in the house which was not-so-good for you stuff.

And when you say "I think that stability is reflected on the scale" that is SO true for me as well. I'm at a pretty content place in my life right now too. For the first time in a long time, I feel in control, and I feel like the scale generally reflects that these days.

[krampus]

Thanks guichita and lifehouseluver, I feel pretty good at this point in time! It's normal to fluctuate, but I like that I'm fluctuating in a two and a half pound range versus 10 lbs in 3 days binge/restrict type deal. Much healthier!