Featherweights For those with just a few pounds, or trying to lose those last few pounds.

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Old 01-13-2012, 11:49 PM   #1  
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Default Do you feel like you don't get as much praise as a featherweight?

So over the last four months I've lost about 20 pounds, from 168 to 148. I want to be 135 ideally, but I'd be really happy with 140 too.

I've worked REALLY hard. I'm talking 6 days, 1-3 hours per day at the gym. Rationing and counting every calorie.

I'm not saying people haven't noticed the weight loss, because they have. It's always very casual though "Oh, you're working out" or "Oh, you look like you've lost weight." I guess I thought people, espec. family members would be so proud of me.

As I get closer to my goal weight, I keep hoping to really get some recognition and for someone to really be impressed and proud of me... Although, I'm starting to feel like no matter how much more I lose or hard I work, since I wasn't super overweight before, no one is ever really going to "congratulate" my loss.

Anyone else ever feel this way?
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:46 AM   #2  
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It doesn't help that you're tall 20 pounds on you is a lot different than 20 pounds on someone my height—or shorter!

Now I've lost a lot of weight over the past seven years or so (probably close to 100lbs, maybe more) so I get a lot of: OH MY GOD YOU LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT especially since 70ish of these pounds were only within the past year.

However I started a new job when I was 150 pounds and still trying to lose weight. I guess that puts me in the featherweight category. I've lost somewhere around 30lbs since then and NOBODY said anything! I find that really strange because 30lbs is a lot at that weight and I'm short! I remember when I first went from 190 to 160 and people noticed...when that is probably less of a dramatic change.

I never said anything to anyone at my job, but I'm surprised my students never said anything either. Usually kids are pretty vocal and honest about that stuff.
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:40 AM   #3  
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There's a definite disconnect in the minds of the general public with regard to weight loss and slender fitness. Some folks seem to think that all they can do is lose fat weight and that anything else is a mystery saved for some strange gym-dwelling creatures.
You may have to learn to get your kudos elsewhere. Internally for one. You know what you've done, congratulate yourself! Find a couple of people who understand ... maybe at the gym. And we're here for you.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:03 AM   #4  
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I'm going to be a bit controversial to offer a possible answer to this, so please excuse my post.

I think there is less recognition because it is obvious that the weight 'featherweights' are trying to lose tend to be viewed as 'vanity' pounds. You are not at a health risk (usually, everyone else is different), you are not obviously overweight, you are simply a little chunkier than you would like to be.

Also, when it comes to 'average' people (as opposed to overweight) I think the subject tends to be a little touchy - how would the person know if you're losing for health reasons as opposed to due to depression, sickness or other stressful factors? When it comes to overweight people it's a lot more obvious that weight loss is due to trying to be healthier than before, so its a cause of celebration and any mention of it is surely going to make the person happier. On the other hand, mentioning the loss of weight to someone who is already relatively healthy (phenotypically) and you may be opening a whole can of worms...

Hmm, I hope what I said made sense.

Last edited by DesertTabby; 01-14-2012 at 08:06 AM.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:19 AM   #5  
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Why do you want to lose weight ? Is it to be at a healthy weight for your height ? Is it to feel better ?
Or is it to impress other people ?
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:25 AM   #6  
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I agree with all the other posts. I think it has to do with your height, the fact that you weren't really considered overweight by others and also that this could be a sensitive matter. Also, I'd like to add that 5 lbs. a month is awesome, but it's still at a pace that is not drastic (which is a good thing!) and people tend to not notice gradual. What I notice is that people really notice my body more depending on what I"m wearing, so if I"m wearing more form fitting clothes, I'll get more people noticing. For me, I do get lots of comments because people know that I have struggled with my weight for years, but a lot of times, it's fake (in my opinion) because they're complementing me on weight that I haven't lost or even if I've gained weight. When I went from obese to normal BMI, I definitely got a lot of comments. It's not that you're not looking fantastic, because I'll bet you are, but there's a lot that plays into the public perception.
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Old 01-14-2012, 11:19 AM   #7  
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I also agree with the other posts, this is "vanity" weight. A lot of people on this forum are already within a healthy weight range. I think it ranges from people not noticing, to people not caring, to people being too uncomfortable to say anything. I'm in the same boat, I've lost 15 lbs and nobody has noticed..which to me is crazy. My boyfriend didn't even comment, and when I asked him he said "well I thought you looked good before..and now". I think it just doesn't matter that much to other people. That's why I like this forum, because I can talk to people who understand.

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Old 01-14-2012, 11:30 AM   #8  
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I've had a somewhat similar experience. I moved half way through my weight loss journey so even though I've lost a lot of weight, many people have only seen me in the low 190's/high 180's. I've gotten a few comments, more so lately but I lose S-L-O-W-L-Y (2-4lbs/month, but some months I've lost nothing at all) and on top of that it's too expensive for me to buy tons of clothes so I know that doesn't help either.

That being said, people who have last seen me close to my highest have definitely remarked and it's a major topic of conversation. So two drastically different experiences there! I figure that it's hard to see smaller amounts of weight loss, especially over time. Like others said too, if people assume you're already at (or close to) a healthy weight then you're normally losing for vanity reasons rather than health reasons and that can be a VERY touchy subject for some. Also, it could very well be for other reasons (like depression, health issues) that you're losing so many won't bring up the topic. I know I rarely ever mention if someone loses weight (unless I know they actively are trying to) because it's such a sensitive subject.

In the end weight loss should be about YOU and being happy with your body. Other's perceptions are tricky (I actually just blogged about size perception today...). Some believe that losing more beyond being a healthy weight is silly and will make you too thin. Others will tell you that being at the high end of a healthy weight is fat. You really just can't win. It's the same thing as if you were to ask everyone what the perfect hair/eye color or body type. There isn't a right answer, it all comes down to personal preference.
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:53 AM   #9  
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I have to say that I got a lot of compliments when I hit the 20 pound mark, as it seems to be more noticeable on a shortie, but as I've slowed down with my weight loss the compliments have been less except for those who haven't seen me in ages.

I'm ok with that though because as others have said, I'm now in the healthy BMI range now, so last few pounds I'm working on are basically vanity pounds, and I'm trying to lose them just to give me a bit of a buffer between healthy BMI & the overweight bit of the scale.

I'm still doing what needs to be done, but even I'll admit, I don't have the same drive I did when I knew I was at the Obese/Overweight border.
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Old 01-15-2012, 11:24 AM   #10  
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I'm not losing weight because of what other people might say, I'm doing it for myself. I've already had quite enough of people commenting on my body, thank you!
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:31 PM   #11  
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I lost 20 pounds and no one I care about ever said anything. Honestly, I think I was the only person who really even noticed—except for the people at the gym. They pay attention to that sort of thing. Strangers came up to me and said that it was obvious I had worked hard and that I looked great. To be honest, it weirded me out. I pay attention to no one but myself at the gym, and I would love it if other people were similarly self-absorbed. Fortunately, I think most of them are.

As for friends and family, I don't care if they noticed or not. I did it for me. And, personally, I'm glad they can't really tell. Some time back I went from 129 down to 113 and then back up to 129. And yet people at work and my friends comment about how amazing it is that I am always the same size. I never gain weight. I'd rather they think that, personally, than that they notice if I slip. I've never been overweight and so I think people I have known a long time especially just look at me and see the same person they always have.

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Old 01-15-2012, 03:55 PM   #12  
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Well, I, too, like a little recognition. But I've pretty much accepted that I probably won't get much. I was never overweight in the first place, and the last few pounds I want to lose ARE vanity pounds, so people who are struggling with their weight basically look at me and say, "Dude... I so don't want to hear about you and your diet."

However, I do occasionally get comments from people. And they are almost always people who tend to be focused on weight loss for vanity sake (i.e. they're already healthy and relatively slender, but they still work hard to get those last few vanity pounds off). So I guess other "vain" people notice other people's vanity pounds. lol

I have no problem with vain people, vanity pounds, some shallowness when it comes to appearance, etc. (Like I said, the pounds I am trying to lose are definitely vanity pounds.) I think motivation for weight loss - whether vain, shallow, health related, esteem related - is personal to every individual, and every motivation is valid in its own way.
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Old 01-17-2012, 02:30 PM   #13  
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No, I am of course not losing weight for others. I've just worked hard. I think it's natural when you're working so hard to crave a little bit of recognition.
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Old 01-17-2012, 06:11 PM   #14  
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I think it also depends what you wear. If you always wear loose tops and Aline skirts people will probaby not notice a 20 lb difference on a tall person. When I first gained 12 lbs and then lost those 12 and an additional 12 lbs only one person noticed besides my husband. Even funnier is that a friend from back home would always tell me and another friend that we had lost weight whenever she saw us (about every 6 mo - 1 yr). This had been going on for years. The kicker is that the last time I saw her I was 20 lbs less than the time before - and she didn't notice anything! Everyone sees you through their own filter.
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Old 01-19-2012, 04:29 PM   #15  
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I actually get tons of comments. My weight loss has been a major topic of conversation. It's been 15 months now and I probably average at least 3 comments a week, even now. I haven't always been a feather weight though. I was quite overweight when I started. The flip side of it is, I may still want to lose a few more lbs. and now I feel under the microscope, like people will start scrutinizing me for losing more.
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