I keep doing this -- falling off the wagon about coming to 3FC and being responsible about weight loss, that is.
Instead, I let myself stress out about it, check myself daily in the mirror (but not the scale; I left my scale at home and am in a scale-less phase which drives me nuts), become vain and despairing in turns, guesstimate calories and feel terrible about how much I think I'm eating...
I don't know how much I weigh right now. My waist measurements have gone down a LOT -- from ~27/28 this January to 24.5 right now -- and my muscle tone is good, and I feel smaller most of the time, especially in the morning -- but at other times, I feel huge & dumpy & absolutely awful. I know I should be considered more-or-less "thin" and "fit" by now, but I don't feel it. I hate that.
It's like even if I figure out how to eat better and exercise all the time (I've been commuting to work by bike, ~90 minutes a day), I still feel "fat" when I see myself in the mirror.
Anyway, I'm back at 3FC because I am sick and tired of feeling out of control of my weight. I need to buy a scale, face up to the number, go back to goal-setting and stop thinking about my size as a battle. But it's so hard to keep control and do these things. I feel like I'm battling anorexia and falling-off-the-wagon-into-binging at the same time, and obviously neither of these is a good thing... and I'm tired of feeling deprived... and I don't even calorie-count anymore.
UGH. Thanks for tolerating my rant, girls -- you've always been amazing, and I remembered that even while away in my dark place