So at the risk of making myself unpopular among the current group of Feathers, I'm going to bring up a "politically incorrect issue" - choosing goal weights. I'm going to preface this whole post by saying, loudly and energetically that I am not opposed to losing "vanity pounds" (wouldn't that make me a hypocrite!), nor do I believe that anyone on this site has (or wants) an eating disorder. What I am going to suggest though, is that the choice of an unreasonably low goal weight may be derailing a lot of perfectly good dieters.
This started because I noticed that many of the current flock of Feathers are 5'5-5'8, and nearly all of them have chosen goal weights in the 115-125 range. This calculates to a BMI of between 18 and 19; not underweight, but certainly at the lowest edge of the healthy range. That made me start to wonder if the majority of Feathers started out already in the "healthy BMI" range, or if many of us are aiming for the far end of the low-normal weight range after many years of being overweight or obese. So I started to look back at the many, many pages of Feather introductory posts in the sticky at the top of the page. And here's what I noticed:
(1) there are an enormous number of women (and men?) who belonged to this forum in the last 3 years, most of whom are not posting anymore - no surprise. (2) Many of the (rather few) longstanding Feathers/Fat Chicks are ones who also post on the Maintainers and Exercisers boards - again, no surprise. (3) Many of these people are ones whose goal weights are in the middle of the healthy weight range for their height (BMIs of 20-22), not those who posted goals in the 18-19 range.
It was too much work to additionally examine whether there was a relationship between starting weight vs. goal weight, and ultimate maintenance success, but I would conjecture that the higher your starting weight and/or longer you've been overweight, the harder it is to achieve AND MAINTAIN an very low BMI.
I suppose that part of this is my attempt to justify why, at 5'2," I have not selected a goal weight of, say, 110 instead of 120 pounds- in this group of posters, I definitely feel a subtle pressure to select a goal weight in that range. But I'm also genuinely wondering whether some of you ladies might be better served in the long run with choosing a slightly less ambitious weight that you could more easily maintain for a lifetime, rather than aiming for the kind of perfection that breeds eating disorders and yo-yo dieting.
Before you take me to task, or respond that there are, in fact, several Feathers who have succeeded in keeping their BMIs in the 18-19 range for quite a while (I know, and more power to them- they have my utmost respect!), I urge you to take a quick look yourself at some of the 24+ pages of introductory messages from people, and judge for yourself. I'd be delighted to hear other opinions or analyses about this.
Andrea- nice observations. We are the same height and although I'm not 100% sure what I want my goal weight to be, I know mine will never be 120. For me I know I will be happy the way my body looks at say 135-138 ish...and I will be fit and healthy as well. I don't think that makes me less serious because I don't see myself at 120. I think a goal maintainable goal weight is definitely something very personal, and Ik now that I could never maintain on the low end of my healthy bmi.
I do think for those of us who have been substantially overweight in the past and have had to break lifelong bad habits, it is tougher to maintain lower weights and stay focused. While my appetite has diminished compared to 25 lbs ago when I ate heaping portions of white rice 2 meals a day, I know I will never be someone who learns to prefer salad without dressing.
I have observed that many of the Feathers with low goal/maintenance weights are also runners, and running lends itself to a very lean physique with low body fat.
As for picking a too-low goal weight and derailing dieters, I'm not sure what to think. I think most folks who post on 3FC are well-educated enough to realize weight loss is a gradual and time-consuming process, and I'm happy that we don't get too many "HOW CAN I LOSE 30 LBS IN ONE MONTH?!" crash and burn dieters facing inevitable disappointment.
What I imagine happens to a lot of people is that they choose a given goal weight, say 120, and then realize they are satisfied at 130 and opt for maintenance.
I'm a feather who's been stuck (essentially unwillingly maintaining) at 115 pounds for over a year. My bmi is 21.7. My goal weight of 110 would give me a bmi of 20.7, on the low side but still well within the normal range. I'd have to get to 100 pounds in order to have a bmi of 18 and I'd have to weigh in the 90s to be officially underweight.
Originally I just wanted to lose twenty pounds but when my weight dropped into the low 120s, a weight I hadn't seen in more than a decade, I decided to lower it.
I understand and appreciate your observations and opinion. I can also see and appreciate how it would be frustrating to see so many people with lower goal weights. It does feel like pressure. I too have felt, shoot, maybe I should drop my goal weight. But here is why I chose my goal weight..
1. I have never been overweight. My BMI has always been healthy and I have never reached over 140 at my current height. (I still dont know if I am 5'5 or 5'6. I am going to the doctor in a month or two to find out).
2. I recently found out from my doctor my height and weight for the past 12 years. I wrote them all down and calculated all my bmi's. The highest my BMI has reached is 23 and lowest was 19.1 (when I was 11)
3. What makes me believe 120 is a reasonable goal is because of the simple fact that my entire life I have been a junk eater. I have never been a healthy eater and never even liked healthy food. This leads me to believe that although I have never been overweight, my body has never really been at its comfortable weight. Ive always thought if I could only learn to eat healthy, my body would fall into its comfortable weight zone.
4. I started this weight loss journey a few months ago after a crash diet for vanity reasons. It is amazing how much my attitude has turned around. I dont see it anymore as "I have to lose this weight so I look hott and have the best body" (ok sometimes I do ) but now as I learn more, I see it as I have to in order to be the healthy person I want. The junk I was eating before was literally poison to my body - and that scares me.
Bottom line, I instinctively feel like I really belong around the 120 range. I also believe I could maintain there because I have 100% adapted the mind set that this is lifetime habits! As CRAZY as this sounds coming out of my mouth I do not feel deprived in anyway!
Sorry I sort of blabbed on. I just wanted to give my reasons for my goal weight and thought maybe that would help you understand a little why some choose higher and some choose lower..
Only time will tell. If I get to 125 and I am happy then by golly I will stay there and enjoy a big ol cinnabon! But until then, I will continue to lose eating a HEALTHY amount of calories and exercising till I reach my comfort zone again
This is the reason I stay away from this part of the board. I'm not mentally in a place where I can encourage someone to go under a BMI of 20 just yet. I'm still not convinced I can get to my goal of 135, which is only 10 pounds into a normal weight for me. I feel like I look smaller than my weight would suggest and it's such a mental game at this point. I feel really good, having been where I've been. When I was younger I was in a size 3 and was angry at the world for mislabeling the clothes I tried on. I would not believe I was that small. Now I see that I was. I don't want to go back to that head space. I really like where I am.
I would love to see my goal of 135. It's 100 pounds down exactly. I feel like in a way I belong in the feather's group now because I'm battling these last pounds. BUT, one, I still have TWENTY FIVE pounds to go and two, sometimes I feel like I won't really be a feather until I'm actually at my goal because everyone's goals here are so small.
But, I also see some well educated folks who caution against the eating disorders, and that's good to see. And I see constant reminders that we are all built the same and 110 pounds on one woman is not the same as on another. If a woman choses not to strength train, then her weight could be smaller without sacrificing appearance.
I've never weighed more than 129 (a BMI of 22.5) in my life, and I'm 37. And the only reason I weighed that much is because I ate around 3500 calories a day every day. Yet I was still a size 2 due to weight lifting. I'm a small person.
At my current weight I'm willing to bet I still eat more than just about anyone my height, and many people much taller, so being under a BMI of 19 is not a problem for me.
I work out three times a week, for around 10–12 hours total. I have done this for 20 years. So that exercise level is sustainable for me, too.
I think you make some good points. A person definitely needs to choose a sustainable weight. But some people really can maintain at a BMI under 19. I have maintained my current weight for more than a year now, and it has not been a struggle at all.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 10-25-2010 at 06:36 PM.
I hope no one takes you to task or anything of the sort. I think this is an interesting subject for discussion.
Definitely there are risks of "peer pressure" or at the very least "groupthink" in this sort of situation. However, as adults, at the end of the day we are responsible for making decisions for ourselves, no matter what a group of people on the internet thinks. Maybe the Featherweights board could have some sort of "Please Read" stickie that addresses the difference in body types and how people should consider their individual situations when choosing a goal.
I do think it's unfortunate that some people may not feel comfortable posting here because their goals are higher than others. I, for one, am as interested in the experience of someone with a 26 BMI as I am in that of someone with a 19 BMI.
I've been around 120 for most of my life (6 years maintenance after gaining weight in college) with the exception of my pregnancy. While 120 at 5'5 may seem low to some (especially those who have never been slim themselves), it's just my normal every day size.
No ED or yo-yo here. As someone who has been slender almost their whole life (except the two years of college where I ate fast food daily), it is certainly possible to be a BMI of 18-19 naturally without eating issues.
If a woman choses not to strength train, then her weight could be smaller without sacrificing appearance.
I've been lifting heavy weights for 20 years.
I really do think it can be hard in this world to imagine what people would look like at lower weights. We are used to seeing heavier people on a daily basis. We start then to think that anyone who weighs less would look too thin. But that often just is not the case. When, as a community, we were thinner people, we had a different perspective.
I was watching television last night and I saw a couple of women on a commercial who looked gorgeous. I'm guessing they were about 5' 4" and at least 40 pounds heavier than I am. At that weight I never would have looked like they did. I was built to be light. My wrists are absolutely tiny, for example. They are the smallest wrists I've ever seen on an adult woman. And my hands are the size of a child's. Only one other woman I've met has hands as small as mine. And when I put on weight, my breasts don't grow: I don't end up proportional but larger like some lucky women do. I stay a C cup but get wider in the hips, waist and thighs, and the muscle in my arms isn't nearly as defined as I like it to be. In fact, my arms just end up looking kind of big for my size because there is a layer of fat over the muscle.
At my current weight I am a physically fit hourglass. At 129 I am a bit of a pear whose hard work in the gym isn't as obvious as it is now. At 150 I wouldn't look good at all. I simply don't have the kind of body that will ever be radiantly soft and rounded—the kind of shape the women in those commercials had. I have curves, but I look better with less weight on my small frame—when I'm slim enough that my muscle makes me look fit and not fat.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 10-25-2010 at 06:37 PM.
This is really fascinating and not as controversial or scary as I think the OP feared.
For me, I used to be under 100 lbs. as an adult at 5'5. Not a lot under, and not for a long time, but at the time I was that skinny, I was in grad school, I smoked cigarettes like they were going out of style, and I was busy and stressed. I looked like crap, and I knew it, believe me! (And I had the lousy dating record to show for it! ) So in a lot of ways, I was DELIGHTED to bounce back up to a healthier weight range of 110-120 once I finished my degree. I've never been a yo yo dieter, but my weight has always tended to fluctuate naturally within a 10 pound range or so, and 110-120 has always looked and felt reasonable, healthy and fit for my particular frame size. That's really where I feel my happiest, so that's where I've tried to stay. The reason I shot up to the high 140s was because I hadn't learned portion control, and going from a heavy smoker to a nonsmoker cold turkey (while also getting married to someone literally twice my size) played havoc with my weight. Add that to the fact that I hit my 30s at the same time, when your metabolism naturally slows down, and everything went to places it never had before.
To make a long story short, I know what too skinny FOR ME is, and I know what feels comfortable and is my "set point" weight for me. I felt lethargic at my highest weight. I felt lethargic at my lowest (adult) weight, and so I'm aiming to return where I felt my best. And yes, quite frankly, also LOOKED my best, but at least I do feel I have a good idea of where "too skinny" is for me. I definitely want to avoid that.
I'm not going to 'take you to task' at all - but I am going to fight my corner just to justify my goal, which I don't think is too low in the slightest.
I'm 5'5" and my goal is 120 which is a BMI of 20 exactly. Judging by the 20-somethings forum about 3/4 of the women choose a BMI of 20. As someone who started out in the healthy range at 22.5 it seems strange to choose a goal weight higher than most ladies of a similar height.
Having said that I am hoping that when I get there I ideally want to maintain between 118 and 120, so I will be going a tad under.
Of course these are vanity pounds, but everyone has there own reasons. It's not a crime to want to look good, nor is it necessarily superficial. It's one less thing to worry about.
Personally I did this because I have just graduated from uni and therefore have been carrying my fresher 15 for a couple of years! Also my mother had an illness and because of steroids started gaining weight, now that she is slightly overweight she regrets not tackling it when it was initially rising. Another reason is this is the last time that I can be completely selfish in terms of diet and time devoted to exercise before getting a more stressful job/serious partner/family so when these obstacles do appear I want to start off from my peak condition.
Anyway this is a long winded way of saying:
A lot of us here either have the same goal, maybe a bit less, than those who started in the 'overweight' range. And does it matter where we start if we're going to the same place.
I think those who 'gave up' are because when you're not overweight there isn't the urgency to lose the weight. I think we've all been guilty at some point of starting a diet and not sticking to it. Or saying 'the diet starts Monday'
Thanks for bringing it up though, very interesting.
I was thinking about this on my way to work this morning. Right now I have 120 as my goal weight, but realistically I might be interested in going lower. Like Petite Powerhouse I have a very small frame (I wear children's watches!) and at 130 I still have quite a bit of ahem extra.
Going back to what Eliana said, I really don't think there is any competitive "who will be the skinniest?" edge on Featherweights at all. There's no standard definition of what weight constitutes a Featherweight and no one should ever feel guilty or under pressure when posting here!
My main goal is to be healthy by running and other exercising and eating in moderation. I have a set goal weight of where I would like to be but as long as I can fit into a size 8, I am a happy gal. My goal is not to be model/hollywood thin, that is just not realistic for me. I cannot just eat salads for the rest of my life. I do agree with Neurodoc that at times I feel that since my goal is not 120 or less I won't be accepted as thin.
I have always had the same goal of 112, but have never been able to get under 120. I really should just change my goal to 120, but I guess I hold on to the hope that one day I can get back there. It does make me frustrated, but it also pushes me to keep on program.
Goal weights and their effect on behavior
) but now as I learn more, I see it as I have to in order to be the healthy person I want. The junk I was eating before was literally poison to my body - and that scares me. 
I'm not mentally in a place where I can encourage someone to go under a BMI of 20 just yet. I'm still not convinced I can get to my goal of 135, which is only 10 pounds into a normal weight for me. I feel like I look smaller than my weight would suggest and it's such a mental game at this point. I feel really good, having been where I've been. When I was younger I was in a size 3 and was angry at the world for mislabeling the clothes I tried on. I would not believe I was that small. Now I see that I was. I don't want to go back to that head space. I really like where I am.
