I have a couple--actually four, very health concious friends so we discuss weight every time we are together for at least part of our conversation. They are on the healthy or smaller side--2's and 4's. I know not to bring up to subject of weight, exercise or the like around most of my larger friends or family members unless they point blank ask me about it. I have been on the receiving end of unwelcomed dieting advice/discussions and know how they could possibly feel. The only problem I have discovered is that (for the meantime) my weightloss, nutrition and exercise is so paramount in my life, it is difficult to spend time with them without mentioning it.
My sister and I are trying to get in shape together, and we both don't have too much to lose, so she is a great support system. I tell her about every success and failure. I've told my fiance, my best friend and one coworker about my diet, but with everyone else I keep quiet.
So far since being on my diet I've only had one work event where we had lunch brought in. I was still on Phase I of the SBD then, so I just had salad but didn't make a big production of skipping the sandwiches and chips, and no one noticed. I have a couple more events coming up this week, but I'm on Phase II now, so I can eat a bigger variety of things.
It happens to me too, kittycat - not everytime I discuss with anyone, but everything I discuss with specific people (mom, ex-friend), and everytime I feel criticized by the end of the conversation.
My mom thinks I'm too skinny and often now refers to me as a 'bonestick'. That comment last time resulted in Jet Puffed chocolate covered marshmallows. Almost the whole bag in the car on the way home from Target. Her comments about over exercising often lead me to take a day off the next day, which then lead me to feel like crap and eat more.
If I just don't talk about it, then I don't feel criticized and beat myself in the head with a plate of food.
Wow can I ever relate.... I have a friend at church and when she is dieting, all that she eats is wonderful and good for you, but the moment I start dieting, she jumps in and tells me how unhealthy dieting is... Give me a break !! So this go round, when she has asked, I simply smile, and say I am eating this because I like it. NUFF SAID !!
Everytime I reach out for encouragement my friends and family laugh and wait for me to fail. I must admit that in the past I've given them alot to laugh about since my new "no fail" diet FAILS. This time I'm keeping quiet and I dont feel alone because I have my 3fc family that do not throw stones and offer great advice. I cant wait to see their faces when I really do have a bikini bod. Lol.
I can be most honest about my intentions on 3fc. A couple of my girl friends and I are perpetually at that stage where you're not technically overweight but still trying to whittle away at the last couple pounds, so I can talk candidly with them, but around my guy friends or my parents I avoid talking about weight because it's just not an easy topic to navigate.
sweet talker youre lucky to have friends that support you. My friends, which by the way need to lose a whole lot more than I do, are not supportive at all. Ive chalked it up to misery loves company, their not motivated to lose and its easier to keep me down too. Im so glad that Ive seen the light.
I have people I CAN talk to.. but I ususally don't. My mom and mother in law both need to lose a LOT, so they like hearing about me doing well but then at other times they can be discouraging like I don't need to lose weight or make me feel bad because they aren't trying to get healthy. I don't really talk about it with my hubby, he would rather just see how great I look and feel than hear all the details. and i have a couple friends i talk to as well but it's not a major topic all the time. so i really turn to online support- i'm glad you guys are here!
My bestfriends and boyfriend are really supportive in this area. However my mother, sister, and some aquaintances give me the "you don't need to loose more weight" or the "just be careful" or the "don't make this weight lose thing the center of your life"...It's SO AGGRIVATING!! when people say stuff like that. When it comes up sometimes I overtalk about it because it is something I have been researching and physically going through for the past year+ so of course it is a topic that I like to discuss. I try to keep the topic off of myself and just talk about general knowledge I have picked up along the way around these people otherwise they have a field day. My sister is especially frustrating because she is a little on the heavy side and she either will call me fat or tell me that I look disgusting when the weight thing comes up.
There is a very strange double standard around weight loss and being thin. I work with a girl who has trouble keeping weight ON and it very sensitive about being so thin, she says people ALWAYS comment to her about how 'skinny' she is and she hates it, it just seems like its OK to comment on, however its totally socially un acceptable to say "wow you're so fat"! And at the same time, I make an effort to eat very healthy at work and always pass on the endless donughts that get passed around the coffee table on breaks and someone every day makes the comment 'you eat so healthy it makes me sick" or "you have willpower, can i have some of it " and i know they mean NO harm by it but i dont need it pointed out, in some cases i feel self concious about it, even tho i shouldnt. And on the other side, nobody ever says 'wow your having 3 cookies, you have NO will power do you?' it just feels like someone always has a comment about EVERYTHING wether its being too thin, trying to lose weight, whatever!
I used to tell the people at work but I stopped after I told them about me starting a diet after the first of the year. My one co-workers response was "Another diet?" Yeah it made me feel like crap because I've tried so many other failed diets in the past.
Plus, I like to keep it a secret so that when I see someone I havent seen in a while, they'll be in for a shock when they see me.
I have to be honest, I don't think anyone I know really cares. Sometimes I complain (half-jokingly) to my coworker about my pants getting too big, but I don't really get support, per se.
My parents are my only offine support (though I mostly communicate with my mom via email, lol) because I know they care, at least to some extent. They were worried Christmas 07 because I was 170 and they said I looked "downright pudgy". My dad made comments that upset me, but looking back I don't really care anymore. I know they care about me. They don't care what I look like, but dramatic weight gain is a signal of many other things going on, and that's what they worried about. They have a personal stake in my losing weight, and my mom's trying to lose weight, too, so she gets it (though she tells me not to tell her when I break 150 cause she's been there forever!).
LOL, I think the day I knew I had a problem was the day I found out that I weigh more than my dad - I feat I never expected to accomplish.
And at the same time, I make an effort to eat very healthy at work and always pass on the endless donughts that get passed around the coffee table on breaks and someone every day makes the comment 'you eat so healthy it makes me sick" or "you have willpower, can i have some of it " and i know they mean NO harm by it but i dont need it pointed out, in some cases i feel self concious about it, even tho i shouldnt.
I used to get teased because EVERY day at exactly noon I'd have to eat. In a meeting I'd be the one nagging everyone to do lunch at noon, or I'd be the one cutting one-on-one meetings short to have lunch. That got annoying. I was hungry!
Now I snack all day (healthy snacks!). I don't know what your office setup is, but it's THAT reason that I have a mini fridge in my office and close the door when I grab something to eat. I don't need people seeing me eat, even if it's healthy.
My point is, I agree that it's annoying as **** when people comment on your eating habits. I don't get comments on my weight, though. I'm neither skinny nor overweight.
I'm fortunate to have the support of my wonderful boyfriend and some close friends however, I do feel like there are a few so called friends that are desperate to see me fail. I get the "You look like you need a few cheeseburgers, girl" or "where'd your boobs/butt go!?". I realized that no matter what you do, there is always going to be someone with something disheartening to say. I let it roll off my back now and just focus on the folk with positive comments or constructive criticism.
and i have a couple friends i talk to as well but it's not a major topic all the time. so i really turn to online support- i'm glad you guys are here!
