[YuppieGirlie]

Hi everyone, I'm very new, as in five minutes ago. I heard about the site through Oprah's magazine and thought I'd check it out. I've read voraciously ever since I got here.

The truth is that I was always small until 2001 when I was in an accident. I gained very very quickly with the help of narcotics and steroids (prescribed). I literally woke up one day and was totally out of control. I've been losing ever since 2004 and am where I thought I wanted to be.

I had a hard t ime choosing a weight for my ticker. That's because I don't want an "end weight". I don't think an end weight is a healthy thing necessarily. It seems so arbitrary. Especially because I'm within a height/weight healthy place right now according to my doctor.

I'm told all the time (and feel) beautiful again. The problem is that maybe I'm not sure when I stop. I'm almost scared this is going to go in the other direction and I'll start to get too thin? Or become so obessed with weight loss that I'm addicted to the high of losing and being so successful?

I'm not sure what weight I want to be. Originally I thought this was my stopping point - but it seems not to be. I'm still bigger than I remember being at this weight before in places and I want to be more toned and solid. I don't want to say "125" because I honestly want to assess how I feel, and my fitness level and see if it's a good place for me to be. Five more pounds may be perfect - or maybe I won't be happy until I've lost another twenty and gotten to the 125.

Has anyone had these feelings? What did you do? How did you decide? I'm also supporting a friend of mine who used to be at m y previous weight as well - and she's just starting out.

I didn't really figure out I was feeling so confused and lost until I had to turn and try to help and support her.

Boy am I n ow getting that it's just as hard to lose the last bit of weight as it was to lose the big chunk in the beginning. Plus- it went off o f me faster then!

[srmb60]

Yes, definitely! Is this weight OK? Am I barreling into anorexia? What if I rebound and gain? Maybe a few pounds less is better?
Yes ... I'm familiar with some of what you're feeling.
I really feel that goals, be they weight ... size ... body fat percentage ... are a learning process. Scale weight can be so fickle. We need to learn other ways to gage our progress.
Did that make sense?
Have you done much reading in the maintainers threads? There's some good insight there.

[YuppieGirlie]

Good Lord. I didn't even realize there was a maintainers thread. I had a moment last weekend, where I purchased three things in an extra small.... and I thought to myself no WAY am I an extra small. And then thought - well what in the world am I gonna buy when I'm 20 pounds lighter than this?

I have had a few people express concern that I'm going to get "too thin" and when I started purchasing size 6's and extra smalls and am still in the 25 more pounds to go mentality that maybe I was becoming obsessive in a bad way in the other direction.

Thank you so much for pointing out the maintainers thread! There is SO much to read a nd learn here. I'm so thankful to have found this place at exactly the time I needed it most. It's been almost 3 years exactly with slow and steady weight loss this next week for me

[srmb60]

Maintainers are awesome yes? I learned alot from them when I was a scrawny 119 lbs (not good).

There will always be folks who think you are too thin. They will comment and I will listen. I am effected by what folks say. We're human, you and I ...tsk!

You and only you can decide what you want to look and feel like. You aren't 6 feet tall are you?

Don't dispair about sizes. They make small stuff. I asked gals, who are smaller than me, where they bought uniforms. Some xsmalls are smaller than others and some companies make xxsmalls.
Shop. That was hard for me to start doing. Where the heck do you go if you don't know what size you wear? You just keep trying. My favourite dress pants are a girls size.

Coming to 3FC really helps me to keep my head on straight. I highly recommend it.

[Bikini Dreader]

You've come so far already. Congratulations!

I used to be anorexic basically and then I was an overeater. Sounds really healthy. I know. What I've learned from it all is that its just two sides of the same coin. I was unhappy with myself and I dont think I would have been happy at any weight. It was coming from my negative self talk. All inside my head. I look at pictures of me at my skinniest and can actually remember feeling huge. It's ridiculous. I think you are right to be cautious. Only you know what is right for you. Perhaps a doctor would be able to help you make sure are on the right track. Are you getting enough calories in your day? I have only recently decided to love myself no matter what weight I am and that has allowed me to look after myself properly. I am no expert by any means, but I have been a slave to the scale and would hate to see someone get consumed by it.

[Doughnut]

I have no idea. I was hoping that I'd know when I got there but right now I'm too far away to think about it. I remember being 135 and being too heavy. My goal is somewhere between 125-130 but I regard it as supremely flexible. I maintain easily at 140 until I take my eye seriously off the ball (as I did from the summer of last year) but I'm not happy there.

I think you'll know when you feel right but don't worry too much about the numbers.

[sweet_talker]

Wow!! Doughnut, what you said sounds like me to a T. Easily maintain around 140, but not happy there and last summer (for me, last spring) I really fell off the wagon. That's sooo strange. I don't know where I want to be weight wise, either. And so much of it depends on muscle and fat %. I don't want to be 130lbs with no muscle definiton.

YuppieGirlie...maybe focusing more on things like your BMI, or muscle and fat percentages would help over the weight itself. And thanks for the stories Susan and Bikini, it's nice to hear how other people feel about their body image.

[Doughnut]

Carey, out of interest how tall are you? The weird thing is that when I was your age and 140 I looked heavier than I did a year ago at 140. It's about the only good thing I can say about the ageing process