dear JB,
my situation is similar. I too do the self talk about "loving my body" which of course, I do, but like being down in low 130s and feel great there.
Good luck. I just joined today to keep myself accountable. I want to lose ~14 pounds and it has been hard. I think this will be great...and hopefully fun.

I was always a skinny kid. I didn't play sports but took dance lessons and weighed around 108 at age 14. Then in 10th grade I quit dance and gained 20-30 pounds in two years. I didn't really notice how much I gained, but always wanted to be thinner.

I was able to keep my weight there through college and the first few years afterward. Then I moved cross country and got married. I was 135 on my wedding day. I had a really stressful job and would eat to relieve stress. I ended up putting on a couple pounds, then a couple more....

I weighed 148 when I got pregnant. I got up to 185 by the time my son was born. Afterwards, I stalled out at 166, then dropped to 160 when I stopped breastfeeding. That's where I've been hovering since November. I hope to get pregnant again sometime in the next six months and would love to be at least to my pre-pregnancy weight by then. My ultimate goal would be to get back to the 135 I was at when I got married. I am feeling really motivated this time and hope for some success!

Cindy

Cindy

I thought I would introduce myself as well. I wont bore you with too much detail but here's a little about me....

I grew up in a house of very naturally skinny people. My mom tells me I am the "big boned" one of the family. In high school most of my girlfriends were worried about their weight and eventually I would seldom eat breakfast, eat nothing but a bag of skittles and a frozen juice box all day at school and then get home and eat nachos or something terrible as a snack and have dinner with my father a few hours later. I only ate when I had to - which was when my dad was around. I got really skinny and liked it. I worked a lot so people didnt really know how little I was eating. I didnt exercise at all except for some springs I would play baseball for the season. My last season I broke my wrist, likely due to my lack of nutrition. Not very many people break a wrist sliding into second base. I know my father (who I lived with) was quite worried about me and was always asking what I ate and "whipping up a salad" for me when he got home from work or asking me to "just drink one little glass of V8" before going to a friends. I started resorting to lying about what I ate and I would always spend so much time at friend's houses that it was difficult for him to keep tabs on what I was really eating. There was nothing he could do anyway.

Events like a big breakup with a boyfriend would spiral me into basically total starvation. I remember one time the cleaning lady at my boyfriend's house even commented on how skinny I was getting. She was quite worried. I think I just thought being skinny would make him want me. I didnt value my body. I got to university and I remember gaining 8 pounds (I was 105 when I arrived) and I thought I was gigantic. I think about that now and realize how dilusional I was. I went home to see my boyfriend at thankgiving and he didnt even notice but I was not happy. Living with 5 other weight concious girls in university definitely didnt help me. I got into eating properly and exercising regularly though and was quite healthy. Except in the summers, working at restaurants as a server, I would barely eat since I never wanted to food we served and I was never hungry when I got home at 3am. In my last year of university I finally found a balance of exercise and proper eating and hovered around 118-120 pounds. I was happy.

Then at the end of university, I got mono. I spent what should have been the best of my last couple weeks there in bed. That was horrible. I moved back home to my dad's and spent a month in bed after a relapse of the mono from the stress of exams and moving 4 years worth of stuff. It took a long time to get over mono and the fact that I couldn't exercise was so frustrating. I think that's when I started to really love eating. Although I can see in the past, restricting and bingeing did occur. My family is very focused on food - always talking about it, eating at all functions, etc. They have high metabolisms. Food is just a love of my family.

So I thought I had gained tons of weight after mono. Mainly I just lost the toned look I had and all my muscle turned to fat. So then I started working out again but with a job I hate and no boyfriend in a city where it seems impossible to meet anyone, I just started eating .. eating a lot. Bingeging then getting angry, dieting then treating myself/giving up. Over and over and over.

Finally I feel like I am ready to get back to my happy self. I have decided to quit my job after torturing myself for long enough. I am going on a trip to Europe that I have been dying to do for years, and I'm moving back to my home town afterwards. I'm very excited about being myself again and I hope you guys can help me through my journey. You've already been a huge help.

I said this wouldnt be long.. sorry.

Bikini Dreader

Hey, I just found this thread. I had no idea there was a support forum for us "featherweights". Cool!

Here's my story:

I was never "fat" in high school, but nobody would have mistaken me for a bean pole either. I started college at around 135 lbs and didn't gain the freshman 15. But then something happened the summer after freshman year. I gained about 20 lbs in about 2 months. I had been sick a lot that summer, and so I spent most of my time lying in bed. And then to console myself I ate and ate and ate. So by the start of sophomore year, I was 155. I'm 5'2, so that's pretty heavy for me.

I stayed at that weight until the next summer. My "wake up" moment was 2 things that happened in the same week. The first was that I was playing the lead in my theater group's show, and none of the costumes fit me. The director topped it off by saying I looked like I had a "bun in the oven." That was upsetting, and I'll never forget it. Then I went to my annual check-up, and the doctor weighed me and said I had gained 20 lbs since my annual one year ago. So I had to do something about it.

I exercised religiously and ate sensibly until I'd whittled myself down to 126 lbs. I actually maintained this weight for 2 years. But after graduation, I started working, and I've been between 133-135 now for a couple of years. Over the holidays in 2006, I hit 140. I'm terrified the weight will just snowball and I'll be back up to where I was sophomore year.

So here I am, trying to eat clean again and exercise regularly. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back down to 126, because now I sit at a desk 8 hours a day instead of shlepping all over campus. But I'm gonna try

Weight has always been a big deal in my household. I don't place blame on anyone, but my mother has always been slender (115ish) and tall (5'8"). So once I hit middle school and hadn't grown tall and instead had just put on weight, I felt like I couldn't be a woman unless I was thin and pretty. I felt guilty constantly about eating and not exercising, I felt if I went to bed at night without working out an hour or skipping a meal, that I had "failed". In highschool, I really "bloomed", I guess. I grew several inches (5'7") and lost weight in healthier ways than before (now 120lbs). I met a great guy at the end of freshman year who loved my body the way it was, and he really helped me to discard any phobias of food or fat. I'm in my junior year currently, and although he's not around anymore (he's going to college out west) he continually provides support.
However, now that I feel like I am mentally healthy enough to see my body in a reasonable way (I no longer see a 'fat girl' but a lean, mean, healthy machine!), I'm ready to get into the best shape of my life. This does not necessarily mean losing weight, but instead working out, weight training, and kicking my system into high gear! Also, I've vowed to stop putting foods in my mouth that are unhealthy for me. This doesn't mean cutting calories, but instead just avoiding foods laden with trans fats, fake sugars, and chemicals I cannot pronounce.
I read through this entire thread and feel so inspired by all you ladies! You all have really become beautiful people in your efforts to have a healthier body. I can't wait to take this journey with you!

JellyDisney! Your story is so similar to the stories of many college girls I've known. In a post-college word, it's hard to keep up the same busy lifestyle you once had. But if you remember that your fitness should come BEFORE your job, your love life, or whatever else is in your life that keeps you from workin' out, you're sure to succeed! I wish you luck!

Welcome Choco ... Oh we all know those saboteurs but there are none on this forum... So pull up a chair and make yourself at home

hi featherweights!

Here's a brief resume of me and my weight.

I was an active child and teenager, and weighed around 8 stone (112) up until i was about 22. (i'm 5'4) Then, I got a car, and stopped moving around so much. the weight slowly crept up and now I'm 142 pounds.

I didn't really start thinking about my weight until recently. I always thought I was kind of ok ish and I can't say I spend alot of time thinking about my appearance. Then, I've met my current boyfriend. I think he loves me (he says he does) but he's made some comments about how I look. And I know, I know, I'd tell my friends, don't bother loosing weight for a guy. But now I've got that thought in my head, I've started to feel a bit less confident in myself and like I should lose weight.

So this is the start of my journey. I'm just watching what I eat (started fitday.com on monday) and trying to be as active as possible. I hope to get down to 120-125 pounds, but I guess anything would be good.

I love reading all your stories on here, and can't wait til I caan post my before and after pictures!

lily

hello featherweights, i don't feel like a featherweight. 20lbs isn't so easy to lose. i am soon 42 and my baby will be 4. he is also number 4, yet that doesn't seem like it should make a difference. the first two boys, i had at 21 and 23, and the next batch, girl and boy were at 36 and 38.

i didn't lose all the weight after my daughter before i was pregnant with my last son. he nursed for two years. walking and exercise in general is not easy with small children. also i didn't have too much trouble with the first two though i did exercise.

now with four children, though now two are in college, it seems as if time is not on my side. i am a partner in a small business, have the kids, the house, the dogs, and a husband that is gone a lot; so basically i am a single parent.

i eat well and don't have too many vices. i don't drink often or even much at all. my biggest problem is i believe a math situation. eat fewer more important calories and exercise to create the deficit i need to loose the weight. i just don't seem to be consistant enough in burning the calories. i have just seemed to lose a few, have a few cold days where i don't feel like walking, but then i will eat the same ammount. i think a lot is mental. i need to find more solace in different activities.

this site i hope will provide me an outlet when i am feeling ansy. i think i eat when i need to release, especially at night when the children are sleeping and i can not work out or walk. i am starting to add light weights and am hoping this will help.

those of you who are in their forties, please expound on what part you believe age has in the weight battle. i am not giving up no matter what, but i do want to hear from successful weight losers as to what motivated them and how they have stayed the course to achieve their goals!!!!!

also even if you aren't fortyish, i welcome ALL suggestions as i want to slay this dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Featherweights, I just registered today.
I actually enjoy exercise and I even enjoy most healthy foods. The problem is that I get depressed and lonely because I have various anxiety problems, and when I'm depressed I eat. I end up binging on insane amts of cookies or other stuff when I'm depressed. I have had therapy and gotten better since my darker days, but I need to get a dose of willpower and support from somewhere.
I am "small-boned,” short, and delicate. For most of high school, I weighed 95 pounds. When I got to college 3 years ago, I weighed about 105, and I was pretty happy with how I looked. Then I had a bunch of trouble making friends at school, holed myself up in my room and ate like a fiend (entire loaves of bread for dinner, or an entire box of cookies, etc). I had never had any problems or even an interest in eating before that, but once I was lonely, food was the only thing I had.
I rocketed up to 125 in no time at all, even though I went to the gym and did cardio constantly. I couldn’t fit into any of my size 0 clothes anymore and I wore sweatpants a lot. I may have gotten up to 130 at one point. I am not sure. The more weight I gained, the less confident I felt, and the more I hid out in my room and ate. Luckily my fast metabolism and the fact that I enjoy exercise managed to save me from getting up any higher. I have never stopped enjoying exercise.
I have continued to surge up to 125, up and down for the past 2 years. One summer I went on the South Beach diet and got down to 112 pounds, my lowest since high school, but then I went to Europe … and when I came home I was 125 again! I was so upset and too overwhelmed to start all over again with South Beach. All the work I had done got ruined in just three weeks abroad.
A couple weeks ago I was 115, but then I went back up to118. Even if I could just get to 112 or 110, I would feel like I had accomplished something, because I’m so frustrated right now. I was feeling good at 115 but then I undid my work again. I really don’t want to go back up to 120. I want to at least stay at 118.
I have friends at school now, I’m fulfilled emotionally, but the addiction to eating hasn’t gone away. I think it would help if I had somebody to talk to about this, because my friends tell me that I look fine. I know that I am not in bad shape; this is primarily about me getting control of my life. If I could have the willpower to get down to 112 again, I know I would feel better about myself and stronger.
The problem is I’m not sure what else to do. Between classes and my job and the play I’m in, I can’t get to the gym more than three times a week. I do weight-lifting and cardio. I’m afraid I’ll hurt my knees if I do more than half an hour of cardio, but maybe I should do 45 min. The treadmill is my favorite but I know it’s bad for my knees.
I already eat only whole wheat. I eat sugar-free desserts, and I love fruits and vegetables. I never drink anything but skim milk or water. Even though I surround myself with healthy food and exercise, I just can’t manage to stave off the desire to run to the café and grab a humongous cinnamon roll … and I do that sort of thing JUST often enough to not lose weight. Maybe all I need is somebody to talk to … so that’s why I’m here.

ariel

Join us on the main thread of Featherweights and we'll keep your spirits up as much as we can so you don't run to eating ...