Bootsie, I have missed you and your gift of encouragement, I am so glad you are here. When I read your post and how you struggle when your husband comes home it reminds me of myself and I am actually working through those habits right now and adding to Week 8 Day 2, Dysfunctional Family
I copied and pasted it below. Maybe it can help you understand why you overeat as soon as your husband gets home??? I hope so.
Deuteronomy 30:11-20 "For this commandment which I command you today is not too mysterious for you, nor is it far off. 12 It is not in heaven, that you should say, "Who will ascend into heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?' 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, "Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?' 14 But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may do it.
15 "See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, 16 in that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the LORD your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, 18 I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20 that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them."
When you write something down it becomes more fixed in your brain. Write verse fourteen, of the preceding passages __________________________________________________ ____
Pray right now for God to show you the truth, the only reason it’s hard is because you believe Satan has more power than God. Overeating is a decision you make for yourself. Pray He will take away any denial. Reflect back on your eating habits and how overeating or being overweight has made you feel hopeless. You feel hopeless because the world tells you there is no hope, its genetics, or a low metabolism, and for a short time, this makes you feel better, because you make excuses and say it’s not your fault. We are desperate for the approval of others. We look to the world or God to make our decisions for us, so it isn’t our fault when bad things happen to us. It helps temporarily, but that wears thin and we are still left feeling hopeless, depressed, and envious. There is hope; we do have a choice. In versus fifteen through twenty, God says it’s up to you to choose life and in verse nineteen, says your children aren’t condemned to being fat either.
II Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort.
God will comfort you. You don’t need to run to the refrigerator! Naturally, those who have been the most hurt by circumstances in their lives are going to need the most comfort. You have tried to ease the pain on your own by using the “two weeks of successful dieting, then overeating, then guilt cycle”. You are using that cycle to avoid the pain of dealing with your hurts. It’s call avoidance behavior. You are trying to trick yourself into believing that the problem is being overweight and solving that problem becomes more important than anything else you should be doing. It’s not just the overeating that is the avoidance behavior, it’s the whole cycle of “dieting” and believe it or not, the two week successful dieting high, the pain of overeating and feeling guilt, cycle, is not as painful for you as dealing with your hurts on your own. Even with God helping you to deal with the pain it is still hard, but He is the God of all Comfort. The more you have suffered the more comfort you will receive, but you need to humble yourself and here is the hard part, you need to give up dieting. Ask for the help, and have faith that He is helping you.
II Corinthians 1:3-7 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
II Thessalonians 2:16-17 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.
• Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:3-5 (in Context) Matthew 5 (Whole Chapter)
Luke 7: 36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”
40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”
So he said, “Teacher, say it.”
41 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”
43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”
And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
I thank God for my dysfunctional life, because I am so grateful to be free of it. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that my children didn’t have to suffer as I did, but a small part of me feels sad for them too. They will never know the depth of gratitude I have for the one who saved me from all that. I didn’t always feel that way. I spent most of my life feeling sorry for myself, wondering “why me?”
My husband and I provide foster care for teenage girls; and because of the trauma they have suffered, they all have issues. When we try to help them deal with a negative character trait such as depression or anger, they always say, “That’s just the way I am” and I can relate because I was stuck that way for years. Always looking back at my past mistakes, I felt trapped forever with the behavior, looking to the future with fear of what I might do or what might happen to me. Then Jesus began to show me something cool. When you are being tempted, you simply live in that moment and that moment alone, deal with the present circumstance.
If you can grasp this concept, it makes it easy to resist temptation. You can do anything for one moment and when that moment is gone go to the next and the next. Don’t think ahead or behind. I want you to really think about this concept, practice it. Call on Jesus in that moment; fight the battle in that moment and that moment only.
It works by taking the pressure off; you don’t have to deal with this forever. God will fight for you. After a few minutes of testing, God takes over the fight. Just hang on for that moment.
You see, it’s not only overeating that numbs your feelings and gives you an escape, it’s the whole process. You can feel sad about something less painful than the hurt you have suffered, and with overeating there is hope that you can change things. The numbing process goes like this. You start out feeling good, you found a new diet and counting calories and writing down list and weighing everything you eat, takes your mind off your true pain. Then because you can’t allow yourself to succeed, what would you run to for the zoning out process, you fail. Then it goes like this. You will just eat a little; you will be strong tomorrow. You will just have a small sliver of chocolate cake even though you’re not in the least bit hungry. Then you take a sliver and eat it fast before you change your mind. Then you say, “I’ve blown it anyway might as well have another, I am so weak. Then the process of self-abuse begins. Then you eat the whole thing one sliver at a time, all the while telling yourself how weak and stupid you are. Then the depression about how overweight you are. Then your friend calls and tells you about a new diet and the whole process of zoning out and not really taking care of the real problem begins all over again.
Next time you get tempted to overeat, think about what you are doing right at that moment. What thoughts, feelings, or projects are you trying to avoid? Then ask God to help you deal with the issue. God revealed this to me this morning, and when I was tempted to overeat today, I stopped to see what was making me want to zone out, or change the subject of the way my thoughts were going. I realized that every time I got frustrated with something I wanted to eat. I have ADD, and sometimes things are hard for me to figure out. I wanted to avoid doing a hard part of my work, so I would reach for a candy. Just remember to stay in the moment. I have a friend who is doing this Study with me and she wrote something I thought was so smart. She said, “God puts a cap on how long Satan can tempt us.” He will flee, just stay in the moment.
II Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Before God showed me this concept, I would get trapped in my thoughts, the “I have always done it that way” thoughts. The suggestion of, I’ll always do it that way. Thinking in the future of the work involved with resisting temptation, adds a lot of pressure to that situation or moment.