When is it OK to lie?

cbmare · 01-16-2007, 05:54 PM

I've come into this forum to post this because of all the various religious beliefs here.

My 2 friends and I had our second "girls day" a few weeks ago. One is Jewish, one Catholic and I was brought up Southern Baptist.

I asked them this question and they both said immediately that it is not OK to lie. Then I proceeded with the explanation for my question. What about the people who hid Jews and others from the ****s? They both looked at me and changed their answers. It's true, the people that hid these people broke the law. However, that was a law created by a bad person who had ill intentions.

So, I'll ask you. When is it OK to lie? I feel that God will forgive me for doing that if I ever have to do it to protect someone from the type of persecution that the ****s were doing. (This is not to be confused with hiding someone from the law because they've broken the law).

Oh, I'm NOT trying to start any type of religious bashing here. I would like to know your opinions.

Thanks.

EZMONEY · 01-16-2007, 07:25 PM

GOODNESS, MARE You have asked a very tough question. I feel that if the "lie" that is told is meant for good, such as in the example you gave, it is all right.

I am only guessing, but I think it is all right to answer questions such as: "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" ~ "Honey, that bald spot on the back of my head isn't getting bigger is it?" ~ "Isn't my baby just the cutest kid you ever saw?" ~ "How's my cooking, dear?" with lies sometimes, in a way NOT TO HURT ANOTHER PERSON but to uplift them.

Seriously, if we didn't fib just a little~ how many friends, spouses, or S/O would we have?

I am also interested on what others have to say, especially the liars!

srmb60 · 01-16-2007, 09:51 PM

I drive my friends nuts talking about the condition of my heart. I need to deal with the motivations of my deepest heart in whatever I do. My God knows the condition of my heart and I'll have to deal with him about that ... some day.

cbmare · 01-18-2007, 01:52 PM

[quote=EZMONEY;1534569I am also interested on what others have to say, especially the liars!

[/QUOTE]

You BAD boy!

Looks like they, if there are any on here, are very quiet.

cbmare · 01-18-2007, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SusanB

I drive my friends nuts talking about the condition of my heart. I need to deal with the motivations of my deepest heart in whatever I do. My God knows the condition of my heart and I'll have to deal with him about that ... some day.

I had to read that several times to figure out what you were saying.

If I understand you correctly, you basically feel as I feel that God will have to be the judge of my actions.

srmb60 · 01-18-2007, 02:10 PM

That's right.

babybelly · 01-23-2007, 04:54 PM

Well, if it is not OK to lie a little I am in real trouble. Now I am not talking big lies but how did Santa know how to find our house has been a big issue at our house.

Elerine · 02-03-2007, 04:37 AM

I don't think the Santa thing is a lie at all. Kids grow up listening to fairy tales, and isn't it lovely to create one for them? I wasn't disapointed at all when I found out 'the truth'. (I was rather pleased that my detective work paid out!)

phantastica · 02-13-2007, 11:24 AM

SusanB, you very eloquently stated my thoughts on this - I strive to act with pure intentions in all situations, and I regularly reflect on what my true motivations are on things.

There's a great book called "How To Say It" that addresses some of this. I also strive to answer tough questions honestly ... finding a way to add a positive spin.

"Do these jeans make my butt look big?" ~ "I think those pants look better with the purple shirt"
"Honey, that bald spot on the back of my head isn't getting bigger is it?" ~ I'm not going there LOL
"Isn't my baby just the cutest kid you ever saw?" ~ "But, of course!" with a wink
"How's my cooking, dear?" ~ "Your Indian food is fabulous. Let's take a Chinese cooking class together."

Nikaia · 02-13-2007, 02:14 PM

Well, if the religion matters, I'm a Pagan and a witch.

I'm generally a very honest person. I hate lying to people, not because I think the Goddess will judge me on it, but simply because it makes me feel crappy. I hate being lied to. I know how much that hurts. And so I try not to inflict that hurt on anyone else.

Now, are there circumstances in which lying is okay? Certainly. But the intent is what really matters, in my opinion. Those who lied to the ****s to protect the Jews they were hiding lied in order to protect the lives of innocent people. I think that's a pretty good intent. People who lie when asked the "Do I look fat in this?" question...that's fuzzier. Yes, they're trying to spare the feelings of the person who asked. But I think it's possible to be both truthful and tactful, and that's what I try to do.

I also don't have so much issue with "lying by omission". If someone asks me a question I don't want to answer, or that probes something I'm trying to keep from being public knowledge, I have no moral qualm with being truthful in what I say - but not saying everything I know. I guess you could say I hold a very narrow view of what "lying" means. If I have not deliberately spoken something I know to be untrue, I have not lied. I may not have been fully forthcoming. I may have been mistaken. But I have not lied.

And gods help the person who accuses me of lying in the above situation. Because let's just say, **** hath no fury like me when I feel my honor is being challenged.