I feel so very guilty for not going at all the entire summer. I joined in April, went twice and that was that. It wasn't that I didn't like, I loved it.
I can excuse the remainder of April, the entirety of May and half of June. I fell down stairs, broke my collar bone, two ribs and my ankle. I had a two and half month recovery period before I was allowed to resume exercise.
But I cannot excuse the following months to the present. "Things just came up" is rather truthful, but I could have made it work. The other one that "It's so hard to get back into the swing of things" is also truthful, but I still could have tried. I pass by it everytime I run errands!
Unfortunately, I'm bad about "all or nothing" thinking, so one day per week as opposed to the normal three still would have been better than nothing, but I still saw it as a total failure. If I can't do what I should, I tend to not do it at all.
Old habits die hard, don't they?
As with all my other percieved failures in diet and fitness, I'm having a very hard time letting go, forgiving myself and just getting back on the proverbial horse. If beating myself up was a calorie-burning exercise, I'd be a model...
I've not had good experiences with fitness/weight loss consultants in the past... they were quick to be very critical and angry with me for not doing what I was supposed to do. That only discourages me further and makes me feel really bad about myself. So, a small part of my excuses have to do with fear of the owner/consultant (I don't know the proper title) being that way and not really being welcomed back. I normally don't give a hoot what most people think, but in situations like this it matters to me to feel welcomed back or not.
Regardless, I've been thinking about Curves everyday for two weeks, and especially with last weeks clothes shopping fiasco! (Nothing fit, nothing looked good and I have no more jeans to wear... just baggy jogging pants, period. Bleh)
I walked today.... TWO whole miles!
I'm very proud of myself. I had to take breaks along the way and catch my breath and take a drink... it was mostly at a moderately steep incline with some minor ups and downs towards the end. I've never been able to conquer anything like that before. I guess those short weekend hikes all summer long in the Rockies made a difference afterall.
That kinda motivated me the most to go back. I saw what I could do, and how it made me feel and how far I've gotten with only a weekend trek. Imagine how much I could do with Curves 3x a week combined with those Rocky Mountain treks. Hiking in the mountains is my absolute favorite thing to do... but it saddens me I have to do the baby trails, and not the good ones that offer rewarding scenery. But with Curves, I can really change that and become one of those hikers I see pass me all the time that I envy so much.
If the owner has the reaction I'm afraid of, then I figure, that since there's a Curves on almost every block in my city (I suppose that why it's the thinnest city in America...) I can go to another one.
I really have to do this for myself. I'm far, far too young (22) to weigh 330lbs and mope around because I'm too out of shape to do anything else.
I'm going tomorrow, and that's that.
Morning Star
but I expected that because I don't have much of a bust when I'm thin. The hips are being a little stubborn but at least the thighs finally started to budge. I'm goign to continue the M,W,F pushing on the machines and plan to add a Tuesday or Thursday or both when time allows to push more on the recover boards and not do much on the machines. I really need more cardio. Anyway, hope everyone had a great weekend!!
Going Back After Slacking Off
Allot of great gals post there too! I post more there and some of the Curver's also post there... wanna come join us? We'd sure love to have you! The more the merrier 
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