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Fiance is "natural" runner

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Old 05-29-2014, 09:08 PM   #1
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Default Fiance is "natural" runner

Even after I spent months jogging, my fiance could keep up or do even better than me. We stopped jogging for a long time and recently picked it back up. After a mile, if even that, I'm winded. Meanwhile, he just ran a 5k with an average time of under 11 minutes per mile. I feel happy for him but hateful of myself because I can't seem to do nearly as well as him, even with practice. It makes me want to cry. He'd even gained 10 pounds and he can still run almost as well as he could months ago! What gives?
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Old 05-29-2014, 09:24 PM   #2
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He's a man. Less jiggly bits. And we run faster than girls. Period.

My first run was half a mile. I remember it well. I was a sweaty mess. But I kept at it, run every day and regularly run 4 miles a day now, up to 12 if it's the weekend.

Practice makes perfect. But you may never catch him. Simply because he is a guy.

So don't worry and keep going!

By the way, weight loss makes a huge difference to running. Every five pounds I have lost has made my runs so much easier.
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Old 05-29-2014, 09:46 PM   #3
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Why do you need to be so competitive with your partner.

And if he's taller than you then he has another advantage as well as being a man who like ian said can naturally run faster than us women.

Don't be so hard on yourself. When we lose fitness, its hard to start again. Just take it as it is and don't be so judgemental about your own efforts. The less you upset yourself unnecessarily, the better progress you will likely make with this more important competition. Ie the one you are having with food and weight.

Keep going and worry less.
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Old 05-29-2014, 10:42 PM   #4
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My DH and I have different running styles, he's more of a sprinter and I'm slow and longer distance. We've gone together and worked out a way to run together. I plug away he sprints on by. I jog and catch up, then pass him while he's walking, then he sprints on by and on and on it goes we appreciate the differences and admire the talents we each have.

He's faster, I can jog further, he's stronger, I'm more flexible.

Don't get me wrong we have some friendly, healthy competitions, foosball, tennis stuff like that, nothing wrong with challenging each other to do better and try harder.

I remember that feeling you're talking a about, wanting to cry, when we would go hiking, I have a harder time with hills, he starts going faster because he hates them, as I've gotten stronger and fitter I can catch him.

Keep working and be proud of what you can do and be proud of what he can do, your future husband is awesome!

Congrats on your weight loss, I know how hard it is at your height! Great job
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Old 05-29-2014, 10:43 PM   #5
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By the way, love Ian's comment, less jiggly bits for sure!!
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Old 05-29-2014, 11:53 PM   #6
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Consider this: I was very athletically-inclined as a kid and I ran track from middle school through my senior year of college. I'd always considered myself a "natural" runner (until I sustained a serious knee injury, slowed down and eventually quit for a few years).

My husband, not so much. I remember when we were teenagers and he complained about being too skinny. I invited him to run with me one day and even though I was near-walking, he couldn't keep up. He lasted 1/4 mile and had to stop, barely finishing a whole mile walking. Years later, he joined the Army, and still couldn't run to save his own life. After just six weeks, he was able to run a full mile without stopping. Two years later, he regularly runs five-seven miles a day. He just completed his first half-marathon last month - something I have never even attempted in my entire life.

The man outruns me at a ridiculous pace. I, the girl who once lapped him six times, am now regularly lapped by him. Anything is possible
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Old 05-30-2014, 12:24 AM   #7
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I guess I'm just disappointed with myself in general and that was just another sting. He is smarter, better looking, has a better memory, is funnier, can run faster AND longer, has a better job, etc. I lag behind in everything. I feel so sad, maybe it's depression. I wish I had something I did well. I really don't and I've invested more time in trying than him. It's so natural for him and I'm so lost.

Thanks for the advice everyone.
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Old 05-30-2014, 12:31 AM   #8
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In my family my sister and her partner have a huge discrepancy. He's a lot smarter and a lot nicer and very popular. Though she is slim and attractive. She's just happy to be so blessed to have a great guy like him. I think you should feel that way too.

You are doing fine. Except for the self -punishing thoughts. Could you be a little depressed? See your doctor perhaps? When we are depressed, we do tend towards all this sort of negative self-talk.
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Old 05-30-2014, 12:43 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovedancelive View Post
I guess I'm just disappointed with myself in general and that was just another sting. He is smarter, better looking, has a better memory, is funnier, can run faster AND longer, has a better job, etc. I lag behind in everything. I feel so sad, maybe it's depression. I wish I had something I did well. I really don't and I've invested more time in trying than him. It's so natural for him and I'm so lost.

Thanks for the advice everyone.
He is ALL of that and HE LOVES YOU. I think we just don't always see ourselves clearly. You are amazing and I am sure there is a ton of reasons he can see and that is why he loves you. Don't sell yourself short!

We all have our strengths & our weaknesses. Depression can fill our heads with alot of ugly stuff. I think you should think of something positive you can do, that you are good at, something you love about yourself and focus on that. (easier said then done I know).

And in the end...you are running, you are moving. Which is a **** of alot more then so many people are doing.

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Old 05-30-2014, 01:41 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovedancelive View Post
Even after I spent months jogging, my fiance could keep up or do even better than me. We stopped jogging for a long time and recently picked it back up. After a mile, if even that, I'm winded. Meanwhile, he just ran a 5k with an average time of under 11 minutes per mile. I feel happy for him but hateful of myself because I can't seem to do nearly as well as him, even with practice. It makes me want to cry. He'd even gained 10 pounds and he can still run almost as well as he could months ago! What gives?
Don't try to compete with men, it will only discourage you. Of course they can beat women, they don't have hips. As far as his endurance he's probably done or is doing some kind of physical exercise, or he has run in the past. IOW he knows how to.

I used to play racquetball with my husband, and no matter how good I got, I was never able to beat him, and there was some pretty quite rides home from the court, lol.

You compete with yourself when you run and no one else.
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Old 05-30-2014, 10:05 AM   #11
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Quote:
He is ALL of that and HE LOVES YOU. I think we just don't always see ourselves clearly. You are amazing and I am sure there is a ton of reasons he can see and that is why he loves you. Don't sell yourself short!
Moonkissed that's what I was going to say!

Quote:
You are doing fine. Except for the self -punishing thoughts. Could you be a little depressed? See your doctor perhaps? When we are depressed, we do tend towards all this sort of negative self-talk.
Pattience good advice

lovedancelive you may also be stressed, etc if you 're in the wedding planning stage of your engagement, be gentle with yourself, enjoy this special time in your life, try and look for the positives

Best of luck
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Old 06-03-2014, 12:15 AM   #12
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I have no idea if this helps, but a 11 minute per mile 5K is not gonna earn your husband any running prizes anytime soon. Not much "natural" running ability there, I find.

All of this to say he's not nearly as perfect as you deem him to be. He's probably a lot more human than you think he is.
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Old 06-03-2014, 03:47 AM   #13
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memememe. that's funny. And true.
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:23 AM   #14
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This is fantastic, something that you can get better at and then beat him lol. Make it a competition and maybe it will get you in gear!

My husband runs faster than me too. I can't run without stopping, he can go and go and go and go and not have to ever stop. Whatever. He can't dance though and I can. He can't touch his toes. He's a disaster on the tennis court and I can hold the fort down.

This has no bearing on your value as an athlete and is not indicative of what you are capable of.
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