Eureka moment, I think I've realized I'm an athlete. I'm a fitness fanatic! Sure sure, I'm 200lbs and can barely do anything but my heart is set on so many physical goals!
Growing up I wasn't athletic. I was picked last on teams, walked the mile without even trying to run, hated sports, hated cheerleaders, yadda yadda. During my whole 20's I never got on a scale. I had a few half hearted attemps to join a gym and never really cared much for it. I wasn't an outdoor person, the thought of running outside where people could see me scared me, the thought of just walking as exercise made feel like an old person. Spandex terrified me. I would skip out on hiking trips or camping with my friends because it "wasn't my thing." I don't know how much I weighed when I got married, my guess based on pictures I was about 185lb.
After I got married I started to see a therapist to address my eating disorder. As I started to understand more about myself I started to work out little by little. I started to like how I felt after I exercised. I was walking, dabbling in running, I started playing tennis and hiking. I'm not very good at any of these things, I just love doing them. I can remember going on a very tough 10mi hike through a beautiful canyon and it was so tough I thought I was going to die. I could barely walk from soreness for the next several days. I was so slow I was probably the last person out of the park that night. My husband immediately crossed it off his bucket list and said "i'm never doing this again." and all I could think to myself is "I'm coming back here!"
Even just walking through the park pushing a stroller in the morning I feel so connected to the runners/bikers/tennis players. I get inspired on Sunday morning when I go out to the track or ride my bike and see other people. So many of us out there, doing something physically challenging, physically exhilirating I can't help but feel like I'm part of a special club while everyone else is sleeping in nursing a hangover.
I still have a long way to go, I'm not nearly in good enough shape to do a 5k yet and my eating is far from perfect. But it's getting there!