Ummm ok so to try to answer a few of your questions...I don't see anything wrong w/ a splurge of candy here and there as long as you eat well most of the time and keep a steady workout routine. Also, if you do splurge - try to plan it so you can eat healthy before and after i.e. if you know you are going to have birthday cake at a party, make sure you eat smart that day so you have a few extra calories to spare. Most people on this site all talk about their cheat days or meals [I can't survive without going out to a fabulous Italian/Mexican/German dinner most Sat. nights w/ wine personally - it's something I look forward to during my workouts every week]...so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
Re: Toning - everyone is different. Some people use heavy weights and do low rep sets, and some people do light weights with more reps. I do lighter weights [about 5 - 8 lbs] for 30-60 minutes 3-4 times a week. I also use my body weight for a lot of it [lunges, squats, pushups, planks etc]. I definitely, definitely find toning to be one of the BEST things you can do for your body - having a toned, slightly muscled physique is MUCH smarter than a lower weight but flabby body.
Some options when starting would be to maybe sign up for one personal training session at your gym - your trainer could devise a toning workout w/ you during that session that you could continue to use after that session.
Also, most gyms have toning classes that are about 45 min. long - they say toning or you know, like butts&guts or what not. You can definitely inquire at the front desk about which classes are specifically geared towards body toning.
If at home, I use Jillian Michaels No More Troube Zones dvd which is AWESOME - it's 50 min and targets all the muscle groups [legs, butt, arms, abs]. Brooke Burke just put out two pretty good toning workout dvd's I recommend as well.
If none of these are feasible or appealing I would do a google search for toning workouts - most women's fitness magazines have a million options on their websites and I'm sure there are a bunch youtube videos.
has a toning section if you are looking for at home tapes. I think you will see better results if you devote more than 10 min. to it. Good luck!!