A lot of us who are overweight fall into the trap of being People Pleasers. We don't feel very confident about ourselves so we're shy about asserting our own wants and needs. Instead, we concentrate on making everyone around us happy. Does that sound familiar to you?
To successfully lose and keep off weight, you HAVE to put yourself first (at least some of the time!) You have to take care of what YOU need and want and put other people second -- for once.
Your situation with your friend sounds like a classic People Pleasing Fat Chick (
) situation -- working out with her isn't good for you and isn't what would be best for you to lose weight. You know what you need to do to get back on track and it's not what your friend want to do.
I think you know what you need to do -- work out on your own -- but you're afraid of hurting your friend's feelings. This is where you have to put yourself first! Weight loss is too important to mess up!!
How about having a talk with her, telling her that your goals are different, and that working out together just isn't right for you? Perhaps you can meet for coffee and still spend time together, just not in the gym?
Good luck! And I know you didn't ask, but please don't wait to tone up until after you lose fat. Resistance training from the very beginning will help you lost fat faster and you'll look better when you get to goal.