I have to echo Ms.Jim and say it sounds like complete crap to me, too.
"It is suppose to detoxify the body, draw excess fluids from the cells."
Your body knows what it's doing. If there is "excess" fluid in your cells, it's there for a reason (unless you have some kind of medical problem like chronic edema or something -- and there are ACTUAL/REAL/LEGITIMATE meds for that).
"It says that cellulite is instantly diminished and inches of water weight melts off of the body."
Cellulite is fat. End of story. The only way to diminish cellulite is to exercise. The only way to "instantly" diminish cellulite is to have liposuction. And isn't our goal to lose FAT weight? Why would you want water weight to "melt off [your] body?" I mean sure, if it WORKS (which it probably doesn't) what possible benefit can you get from losing water weight? You look at the scale and your one pound lighter? So what? It's WATER, not FAT.
"The article also said that chemicals in the plant nourish the lymph channels just below the skin's surface leading to lasting weight loss."
I'm wondering just what chemicals "nourish" your lymph system. And I also am highly skeptical that anything applied to your skin would penetrate so far down through all your dermis layers as to reach your lymphatic "channels."
"It says the lymphatic system pushes trapped fat stored through the liver so they can be removed from the body."
Nothing can "push" fat through your liver and remove fat from your body except exercise -- which burns it off once the glucose in your blood is burned off (after about 20 minutes of cardio). The only other place the fat in your liver goes is out to the rest of your body if it ISN'T burned off.
"It is also suppose to help the skin's elasticity in about 5 weeks."
Hey, give it a try for that. I've heard relatively good things about seaweed helping your skin be softer, etc., so who knows. But Vaseline Intensive Care could probably do the same thing.
Save your money, sweetie....PLEASE!!!!