A few months ago I made this thread about me and my chaotic relationship with my mum: ( updates were given in this same thread).
Sorrow, mommy sorrow.
This time when she told me she wanted to come, I said point blank: I NEED TO BE ALONE AND I WANT TO BE ALONE, SO PLEASE DON'T COME. I explained to her that it wasn't about her alone, but this is something I needed and I'd love her to be considerate to my feelings and respect my desire to be all by myself.
She said she's worried about me (I just had a heartbreak, in addition I'm clinically depressed) and that all she wanted was to come check on me and see for herself how I'm faring; then she'll leave the following day. Good enough I thought and agreed.
She's been here for ONE WEEK now, annoying the **** out of me ( lecturing me on how bad the T.V. Programs I watch are:mind you, I'm 31; making other family members come around together with their never ending drama)
Today I asked her to leave and told her how inconsiderate of my feelings she's proving to be. She's resorting to emotional blackmail again. She said she's there only to help me out and keep me company in my troubles.
I was getting ready to start a juice fast and was counting on my living alone to avoid all kinds of temptations. Meanwhile, she has again loaded my fridge from top to dowm! I have a few days left to start and I can't wait to see her leave!
My siblings and I have been discussing her and we realized that we have been thinking the same thing about her: she just want to be a parasite blood sucker on us. Every month, we give her a certain amount out of our salaries, so she's enjoying being retired and not having to work for money ( she's not getting her pension, never have, but that might be the subject of another thread altogether). We all came to the conclusion that the boredom in her life is what's driving her to create drama in the life of her kids...choosing one victim at a time. She says she comes and stays with me to help me but the real fact is that when she's alone in her house, idle the whole day, she doesn't like it.
We have, several times proposed to her to choose a business venture, or just an activity so we can fund it for her to be doing something 1) to keep her active 2) to allow her to make some money of her own and alleviate the financial burden she's being on us 3) to get her to have something she can focus on, so she can stop being so obsessed with our lives. She won't have any of that and prefers to live her life as a parasite on us, claiming she's too old to work.
Throughout this morning she's been trying to talk me out of sending her away, bringing up dozens of reasons why I should allow her bossing self to stay in my house. I haven't accepted but I'm feeling she's going to be sly about it and stay no matter what.
My question is...what else can I do to get her to leave? Because seriously apart from physically pushing her away, I can't see any solution. Please help me, I'm at the tight end!
Thanks for taking time and reading this.