Significant other - help or hinder?

[micheleahsc]

My husband and I have gained weight together over the last 12 years or so. He's trying to lose weight as well, so that helps a lot. He's main thing is exercise, but he doesn't worry as much about portion control. I sort of lean more toward diet rather than exercise. In the past, our separate efforts haven't been too successful. We're trying to lose weight again, and I'm thinking that if we work together that things will be more successful. We both hate the way we feel, and we don't want our kids to pick up our bad habits.

[Sunshine87]

There is a lot of good advice already posted but the one thing I want to add is actually a part of the Beck Diet for Life. Judith Beck talks about how some people can eat more than others (specifically Men) and it is not fair. Her thought is that it is not fair but you have to "get over it" and realize that to hit your goals you must develop different habits. For example, my sister-in-law is short and slender and can only eat 1000 calories per day to maintain if she does not workout. while her husband eats 2600 calories per day. She has accepted that she cannot eat like him and that is just the way it is.

[Esofia]

I'm another one with a partner who is 11" taller than me and slender built. (Thankfully he is being wonderfully supportive and saying all the right things, which can't be easy.) The men in his family tend to be skinny, but in his father's case, we're talking skinny to the point of very serious health problems. So don't envy them too much.

In one way, it's good that I finally worked out that my partner should be eating twice as much as I should, because I am no longer serving us similar portions, or grumbling if he has a packet of crisps while I'm cooking supper. If our calorie requirements were closer, it might be trickier to differentiate.

[kaplods]

Help or hinder? Yes to both. And I'm sure my husband would say the same.

We're both working at weight loss, and we try to be supportive, but sometimes that can be like someone trying to help someone else in a small kitchen (sometimes it literally has been one of us trying to help the other in a small kitchen).

We get in each others way as often as we actually succeed in helping. We've learned that in most cases, the best way to help is to get out of each others way.

[mypinkpolkadot]

I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a month or 2 and am worried about this as well. I told him about my concern though, and he said he'll support and help me through whatever. I'm moving out of state for him, so it will be a big adjustment, finding a new gym, job, everything. figuring out a new routine.

he said he'll go on walks with me until i get back into the gym =) and he's not big on junk food really, so we'll see.. it just has to be one of those things where if you are gonna eat the same things you eat smaller portions, or order healthier options.

you'll figure it out, you may gain the first month or 2, but it happens.